surrendering isn't nearly as sweet; [Pod/Zen]

[kevna]

A few days after Playing to Win

Asirikai - Lord Holder Candidate

Asirkai couldn’t help but find out if his brother’s words were true. He didn’t trust the man, incompetent as he could be, to get the information right. Rumors needed proof, and that’s what he intended to get. To think… Podrell dropping out of the running, and so close to the vote. He shook his head. Was it because of that woman? Could he really be such a fool to allow some mere greenrider to dictate the path of his life? He thought about the spitfire of a woman and chuckled. She wasn’t even some great beauty. Pretty maybe. In a small, delicate way. Yes, foolish indeed. He just couldn’t believe it. He could believe it more if Podrell was truly so sure he would lose, and wanted to save face by placing his hat in a different, less heated ring. He moved through the hallway, his steps taking him right up to the Podrell’s open door. He scoffed, leaning against the doorframe and watching the madness incarnate.

“Well, I didn’t believe you were as foolish as all this.” He gestured around the room, shaking his head and giving a soft amused smile. “Too afraid to lose? Your surrendering isn't nearly as sweet as me crushing you would have been. It's a little cowardly, don't you think?” He smirked, studying Podrell. The last they had really spoke had been when the other man had come swinging at him, defending the honor of that annoying blonde. He was under no illusions as to what this was all about.

“What do you think your accomplishing, Pod?” The derision in his voice clear as a bell.

Zen

[Zen]

Podrell

He had little enough to pack up for his move to the candidate barracks. It wasn’t like he didn’t keep his room organized and tidy, nor had he brought terribly much with him to Mavros, not wanting to have to haul everything back home if he hadn’t won. It was just as well now, as he would hardly have much room to store his things in the barracks. He’d already seen them, and they were… far worse conditions than his current living quarters, and with a lack of privacy to go along with it. It was certainly going to take getting used to.

Even still, any apprehension he’d had about his decision was gone. Once he had committed to it, it just felt… right, somehow. Folding up one of the heavier furs he’d acquired since the weather had turned colder, he paused at the sudden familiar, unwelcome voice in his doorway. He closed his eyes for a moment, drawing in a deep breath for patience, before he turned to see his uncle leaning against the doorframe. Shells but seeing him looking so smug rankled despite how he’d been prepared for it. He had half expected Asirikai to visit him after he’d gone to see Dirinsin for the favor of borrowing his flit to send a message to his family. Of course his uncle had wanted to know the reason before he relented, so he’d been the first to be told of his withdrawal from the Lordship vote. It wasn’t a stretch to imagine he would tell Asirikai of the development.

“Well if I can deny you some pleasure, uncle, perhaps it is well worth it after all,” he replied dryly to Asirikai’s taunting. “I don’t believe I owe you any explanation for my choices. You’re free to think what you will. I’m flattered I seem to take up so much space in your thoughts. I’m sorry I can’t say the same about you, but there are so many more worthwhile things to occupy my mind.” He spread his hands in a dismissive shrug, turning to continue what was left of his packing. Shells, it would be worth moving to the Weyr just so he didn’t have to deal with his uncle’s antagonizing anymore.

kevna

[kevna]

Asirikai - Lord Holder Candidate

“That’s petty. Though it brings me great pleasure for you to admit I would have beat you. Not that either of us are surprised with how much effort you put in.” Asirikai smirked, folding his arms across his chest. He wondered what his father would think of Podrell dropping out of the race. His sister was soft-hearted, she would advocate for him, he was sure. In fact, his father would probably still be proud of the love-struck fool, unknowing why Podrell had really made his decision to be a candidate.

The dig Podrell threw at him was weak, and he was too amused for it to land anywhere near him to do damage. “Hmm, like Siorreya? How worthwhile is she? Worthwhile enough to fill you with grandiose visions of becoming a dragonrider, yes, I can only imagine how filled your thoughts are. If your leading with your brain at all.” He chuckled, pushing off the doorframe and stepping farther into the room, again looking around pointedly. He was picturing the woman behind his nephew’s political downfall, her hand in all this, . Asirikai had not anticipated just what a nuisance she would become.

“So what color dragon are you thinking? A bronze? I hear they make good leaders, though they aren’t as prone to catching greenriders. Maybe you’d rather a blue, to keep your little Sio closer? Although I hear it’s all about your mettle, what your capabilities are, is that right?” It wouldn’t surprise him at all if Pod impressed to a blue. A man willing to give up Lord Holder for a woman would surely be inadequate for a bronze dragon.

“Well, if no dragon chooses you, there’s always the position of my steward. I’m sure I’d consider giving it to you, if you asked very nicely.”

[Zen]

Podrell

Podrell felt exasperated more than anything, casting a quick glance back at his uncle where he still stood in his doorway, “If I am petty, Asirikai, then you are spiteful, and I cannot fathom why.” He continued his packing as he spoke rather than give Asirikai his full attention, “Just what is it about me that you find so threatening that you feel the need to continue to posture even though I’ve already conceded? You’ve won, haven’t you? I’m no longer in your way so why do you continue to put yourself in mine? You’re like a canine worrying a bone long after the meat is gone. It’s rather unbecoming of a Lord… then again I suppose you aren’t one. At least Dirinisin knows how to be civil.” He found Dirinsin rather arrogant but the man didn’t at all have the same hostility toward him that Asirikai did.

Hearing Siorreya’s name from him was irksome. Of course he would know she had something to do with his dropping out of contention, and of course he would assume that was all there was to it. He drew in another deep breath and let it out before turning to look at him again, “I’m quite through with involving myself in whatever childish game you’ve been playing where Siorreya and I are concerned, so I’m afraid you’ll need to find yourself a new source of entertainment. It’s honestly a bit disturbing just how much you’ve fixated on us. I’m beginning to worry for your sanity, dear uncle, and just how fit a Lord you’d be with such… preoccupations.”

As Asirikai stepped further into the room, uninvited, he felt how it made him tense and was careful not to react in any more obvious ways, watching his uncle with veiled suspicion. The question of dragon colors could have been just a nice, speculative conversation with a family member if that family member wasn’t Asirikai, intent on getting under his skin. There was no obvious insult in his words, only insinuation as he brought Siorreya up again, suggesting that he might prefer a blue. He was sure Asirikai would prefer to see him on a blue. “No one seems to know just why a dragon chooses its rider,” was all he said in response. He wasn’t terribly inclined to answer his uncle’s questioning and nearly turned back to his packing until he brought up the stewardship. He couldn’t help but laugh, “Your steward? With all this time you’ve been spending with me, I must really be growing on you, uncle. As I recall you told me in no uncertain terms that there would be no position for me in your Hold. How touching that you’ve had a change of heart.”

kevna

[kevna]

Asirikai - Lord Holder Candidate

Spiteful? That could be a word for it. The only reason why Podrell couldn’t understand was because he was an entitled, precious grandchild. He didn’t understand what it meant to be the youngest male child, never good enough. But it at least had made him strong, whereas the coddling had only softened Podrell, readied him for this moment of surrender.

He laughed dryly, his dark eyes glinting. “I can hardly feel threatened by you or Dirinisin at this point. Nor concern myself with a… weyr candidate about what is fitting for a Lord.” He looked down at where he was standing, then around. “Nor am I standing in your way, nephew, just as you never stood in mine. I was always ahead of you. You sound quite defensive, I do hope you aren’t second guessing your choices. It’s a little late for that.”

More then a little. He was convinced his work these last long months had been more than adequate to acquire the majority of Mavrosi votes. He had created goodwill between himself and others, worked on his charm, and even played sharding games to get where he was in this race. His confidence, or even arrogance, was hard won.

“Fixated? Can’t a concerned Uncle keep an eye on you? I find myself deeply concerned. Here you are, throwing away an opportunity, a life-long dream, and for a greenrider.” He tsked, shaking his head. “I did warn you that spending time with her was a mistake… Now you march off to join her like a lovestruck fool. Tell me, do you think she loves you? I’ve heard all sorts of stories about greenriders and their love affairs, how brief they can be. She does seem like a flighty creature.”

She had kissed him after all. Yes, she’d been drunk, and from how she had acted around Podrell at the feast, she had been angry with him. Still, if he had allowed her to, she would have pulled him into bed with her. It really was too bad she’d been so drunk, or he could have used that to take something of Podrell’s, just as Podrell’s mere existence had taken something that should have been his. Then maybe, with Sio out of the way, he’d have had the satisfaction of actually beating Podrell for Lord Holder with him still in the running. His temper was on edge from the sanity comment. Out of the two of them, Asirikai was showing more signs of sanity then Podrell. He couldn’t help but lash out.

“I can’t help but wonder, did she tell you she kissed me? I can see why you are so enamored of her, with those soft, sweet lips.” He raised an eyebrow, a small hard grin in place. “Maybe you are already losing your hold on her.” He planted the seed. He’s plant a tree if he bumped into Siorreya for all the bother she had been.

“Well, you are family, and what can I say? I’m in a giving mood, and I see clearly now that stewardship would be a fitting place for you.” He shrugged, smiling. Yes, he’d love to be able to order Podrell about, having him do menial work, never getting the satisfaction of real power. Podrell wasn’t fit for real power if he’d let a woman rule him.

[Zen]

Podrell

Why couldn’t he just let it go? He really was like a canine with a bone. Podrell could only shake his head at the continued posturing his uncle insisted on. It was rather immature, but perhaps that came with being the youngest child. One would certainly think his uncle was the younger of them, with the way he was acting. “If you’re not standing in my way then just what is it you’re doing here, questioning and belittling my choices? What, exactly, does my leaving for the Weyr have to do with you? Would that you would grow up and grow out of this childish need to torment me. Humoring you grows tiresome.” He and Asirikai could have been friends, could have been like brothers, growing up so close in age… instead Asirikai had decided rather early on that he was an enemy for some reason and it just never ended. It wasn’t how family should treat each other, and it was honestly sad.

Asirikai was trying so hard to bait him, throwing verbal punches that in Podrell’s current state just wouldn’t land, glancing off harmlessly. For once in his life he knew exactly what he wanted and neither Asirikai nor anyone else was going to shake the confidence that feeling gave him. “Do not try to feign concern for me, we both know better. Your ignorance is truly astounding as you stand here speaking on a subject of which you know nothing. Do you truly expect me to heed advice of love from you? I’m not sure I can think of anyone that knows less of it. I don’t know if I can remember a single time you treated me with an ounce of kindness, uncle, but even for all that I would never try to come between you and a woman you cared for. Your actions have been beyond pathetic, and I feel sorry for you and whatever hole you have in your heart that leads you to act in such a manner.”

His words were genuine, his gaze merely pitying as he looked at Asirikai and shook his head once more. He was so over this, ready to be done, to move on with his life and leave his uncle to simmer in whatever bitter stew he made for himself. The revelation that Siorreya had been the one to kiss him rather than the other way around as he had perhaps thought did not pack the punch he was sure his uncle thought it would. Though it did explain the hint of worry in her tone when she’d told him. Had she felt… guilty about it? He sighed, pointedly returning to his packing as he spoke, “She did tell me, actually, and her regret was quite plain.” So maybe he was stretching the truth, but Asirikai would never know, “But I could hardly blame her for actions undertaken while she was drunk and not in her right mind. She made it quite clear just who she prefers, so your… concern about my losing her is unnecessary, though I do so appreciate you finally coming clean about just what happened. How very considerate.”

He still couldn’t believe Asirikai would let him believe he had done something so despicable just to get a rise out of him. If it had been a real misunderstanding he would have even apologized for thinking for even a moment that he was capable of such a thing, but since Asirikai had clearly meant for him to believe it, he felt no such obligation. He shut his trunk after placing a few last items inside and turned back to his uncle at the continued talk of stewardship, “You know what is most sad about that, Asirikai? Perhaps we could have made a good team, you and I, if you weren’t so set on making me your enemy. I wish you well, uncle, I truly do, and I hope you find whatever it is that you need to fix what’s so very clearly broken in you.”

kevna

[kevna]

Asirikai - Lord Holder Candidate

“Questioning and belittling your choices isn’t standing in your way, unless of course it’s making you doubt yourself.” He gave another tight smile. Why ask if that was what he was doing, of course Pod would either lie, or he’d refuse to answer if that were the case. “Tormenting you, as you would call it, has grown easier then, hasn’t it? I merely came by to see for myself if little Sio really had tamed you.” He really couldn’t imagine allowing a woman to dictate to him about his ambitions. He had always overheard the aspirations that Podrell had about being a Lord Holder, and now here was the man, packing up his belongings and transferring to a weyr, for a possibility of becoming a dragonrider. All for a woman. Did Podrell really suspect he would lose? Asirikai had measured him as one of the top contenders when they had first bumped into eachother, and now he speculated he really didn’t have any real competition. Sure, others would get votes, but none as close to majority as Podrell may have been able to gain if he had but put his whole effort into it.

Shards and shells, Podrell felt sorry for him? He wasn’t the one losing his mind when it came to a woman, completely derailed by love. Love would come to him in its due time, but he couldn’t let it be what led him or his actions. Not as he had. The disgust, the utter repulsion he felt at that pity that was so obviously in the younger man’s voice and eyes had him screwing up his face. “No, I don’t suppose I know love as you so surely think you do, nor do I expect you to heed my advice. I don’t think you’ve ever heeded my advice; I’d be a fool to think that would change. I suppose you believe yourself the master of love now with your so full heart, is it because of how many times it has ensnared you or just how easily you fall for it? I dare say I should pity you for all it’s brought to you, and what I’m sure it will continue to bring to you.” He chuckled wryly, shaking his head, his hands on his waist. Shards, but the boy really was bewitched. As confident as he felt in that Podrell was making a mistake, the man’s pity had shaken him. He didn’t ever want to be pitied. Feared, respected, admired, but never pitied.

His eyebrows shot up in surprise as the information at Siorreya’s admission, and he let out a harsh bark of laughter. “She did, did she? Hmmm, I doubt that somehow.” She had wanted more from him, he had been sure of that, and she had been friendly enough the next morning. Still, Podrell was obviously so deluded with his feelings for the girl, he doubted he had much more to say in that respect. He had planted the seeds, and when the time came, he was sure his words would have their affect on him.

“If you thought me truly capable of taking advantage of that poor girl, then why in shells would you have let me walk out with her when she wasn’t in her ‘right’ mind? No, you should have known better, and I hardly think you asked me anything, nor gave me much time to answer any silent assumptions before you came swinging at me. So, then it remains that either you did know better all along, or you were too coward to interfere.” He shrugged, shaking his head, derision in his voice. If he hadn’t noted the drunk greenrider she very well could have been taken advantage of by that brownrider she had been talking to as the wall had held her up, at least he had had the willingness to prevent such an atrocity.

Podrell was fooling himself, and Asirikai had gotten what he wanted from this. Proof. His victory was all but assured now, and the stewardship offer, while genuine, wouldn’t ever be a real possibility. Podrell wouldn’t ever work ask to work for him, let alone work for him, he believed himself too good for something like that. Shards, his own father believed Podrell too good for a position like that. He ground his teeth at the thought and pushed it away.

“I don’t remember your branch of friendship that you extended. You think yourself so much better than me? Simply think back to this conversation and see who of the two of us throws childish names and insults about more freely. You I believe have called me broken, childish, ignorant, pathetic, a canine, and you’ve questioned my sanity. I have called you foolish, petty, and the cowardly is up to how you really think of me. So, you place all the blame on me as you wish, Podrell. At least I always strive to be honest in my dealings with my fellow men. So, I can honestly say now, no, we would never have been able to work well together.” He walked out the door without a glance back. He wouldn’t let the words Podrell had spoken bother him. His nephew had always had a sharp tongue to make up for his failings, and Asirikai wouldn’t let them dull his confidence or shake his victorious feelings free. He at least, had business. He would live up to his blood and become Lord Holder, and then he would surpass his father in success and wealth. Podrell may have had his Lord father’s affection, but Asirikai had the man’s resolve, and his blood. Love was inconsequential to resolve.