Post by Zen on Jul 19, 2021 3:01:52 GMT -5
2761, 4th Month
Standing with his youngest brother on the Sands had felt odd initially. Lekizor was so much younger, Kisoraz should have Impressed before he even got on the Sands. Going to class with him had rubbed him wrong for some time. It just hadn’t seemed right. The twelve turn old shouldn’t be getting a chance at a dragon before he found his. He’d been standing for so many turns now, failing to Impress from clutch after clutch, and seeing his youngest brother on the Sands was like a slap to the face, a reminder of what he should have already accomplished and of what remained beyond his reach.
But that had been then. It had been a couple turns and Kisoraz had long since let go of those feelings. Just because his brother was on the Sands, after all, didn’t mean he would Impress. He ought to know, he’d stood so many times now and come away with nothing. So he stood beside the boy, who used to fidget and shift from the heat and from his own excitement but had matured some in their shared time as candidates, and stood still beside him, gaze roaming the rocking eggs hopefully.
“I don’t know how you’ve done it for so long, Ki,” the boy spoke in a hushed tone, glancing over at him, “I haven’t stood for half as long and I….”
Uncertainty flickered across Lekizor’s face, worry that Kisoraz recognized all too well, and he leaned to bump his shoulder to his brother’s, “It’s in our blood, Leki. Your dragon will find you if you’re patient.”
“Bronze,” the boy said firmly, his gaze fixing on one of the larger eggs which had yet to start moving, “My bronze.”
Kisoraz didn’t say anything to that, watching the egg as well and hoping so, for both of them. Perhaps it was his own desperation, but… he didn’t think he would be terribly disappointed if a brown chose him at this point. Surely a brown would be better than no dragon at all? Even with his mother’s muttering about wasted potential. He would take a brown over being left standing once more, even with his cautioning to his brother to have patience. His brother was but fifteen, he had plenty of time for patience. Kisoraz’s time was quickly running out.
A blue hatched first, to some disappointed mutterings from the candidates and the crowd gathered to watch both, but at least it hadn’t been a green. He breathed a sigh of relief over that. The smaller eggs all seemed most eager to hatch first and several more blues and greens followed the first before a brown hatched. Most of the blues and greens headed for the Mirranese candidates, standing in a separate group closer to most of the smaller eggs, but the first blue claimed a Mirrish candidate and Kisoraz and Lekizor both looked away from the scene because it was too much to consider that a blue might just decide to claim one of them. Surely not. The boy may have been Mirrish but he was not the child of the Weyrleaders. Kisoraz was fairly certain his parents weren’t even riders. That must be why a blue had picked him.
The brown wandered through the Mirrish candidates, which his egg had been closer to, but paid neither Kisoraz nor his brother any mind, and eventually he made his way to the Mirranese and picked a boy out there instead.
“Well isn’t he lucky,” Lekizor murmured in a mildly disapproving tone, watching the pair leave the sands. He squared his shoulders, looking back to the eggs, “Well, it’s only a brown.”
Kisoraz’s hands clenched at his sides at his brother’s comment. Only a brown… only a brown that could have chosen him and instead chose a Mirranese boy. He tried to push those thoughts away. It was only because he was meant for a bronze, surely. Surely….
A couple more greens hatched, picking Mirranese girls for their partners, before a bronze finally split his egg, though not the one Lekizor had been so intent on. He drew in a deep breath and dared to hope. The bronze was heading right for him. This was finally it, wasn’t it? He’d waited so long, but it would all be worth it, just as soon as-
The bronze stopped in front of Lekizor, looking up at him with eyes whirling rainbows, and his brother dropped to his knees in the sands with a cry of joy as he wrapped his arms around the bronze’s neck. “Kalindeth!” he turned to look up at Kisoraz, beaming, “His name is Kalindeth!”
Kisoraz felt frozen as the entire thing seemed to play out in slow motion and happen far too quickly all at the same time. He couldn’t seem to process what had just happened. This… wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. No… Lekizor had only been standing for a short few turns, this wasn’t… it was his turn, shard it all! Jealousy consumed him for a long moment until his brother was leading his new dragon away and then a wave of guilt crashed over him. He hadn’t even congratulated his brother. It wasn’t like it was his fault the bronze had chosen him… they didn’t have a say in the matter, it just… it wasn’t fair. He should be happy for Lekizor… or whatever his stupid name was now. Shells.
He took a half step back at the venom in his own thoughts and became aware that more dragons had hatched. Two more browns, another blue and green. The browns chose Mirrish boys, as they should, but they didn’t choose him. A green claimed one of the Mirrish boys and there was an anguished sort of cry from him as he gathered the green up in his arms, but Kizoraz felt numb and removed from it all, barely registering everything going on around him.
Then the big egg Lekizor had been watching cracked open and it was indeed a bronze. Kisoraz’s focus snapped to the creature. Surely it would be his. The hatching couldn’t end like this. He couldn’t be left standing again, not after his brother had Impressed. He took a step toward the bronze but it rather promptly turned away from him without a second glance, heading right to the boy it had chosen, properly Mirrish, at least. A final blue rounded out the clutch, choosing another Mirranese boy, and then it was over.
Kisoraz had never felt quite so much like giving up. He stood there, frozen to the spot, as the remaining candidates all left the Sands and the crowd began to disperse, with relatives of the newly Impressed crossing the Sands to congratulate their sons and daughters and siblings. For the longest moment he could only stand there staring at the remains of the eggs strewn about the sand as if a final egg might appear out of nowhere for him. But there was nothing for him here.
He heard his mother’s joyful laughter and finally broke free of his stupor to turn toward her voice, to see her pull Lekizor into an embrace, to see his father looking proud, as he should, that another of his sons had Impressed a bronze. His sisters were there, and shortly both his other brothers joined the family as well. He felt so far removed from that joy… how could he intrude on it, feeling this way? Feeling… he didn’t know. He backed away and turned to flee the Sands. He couldn’t go over there. He couldn’t share in their happiness, he’d only ruin it, and Lekizor deserved his moment. He wasn’t the one that had failed. Again.
