Rise Up (Zen/Treyjen)

[Taxx]

Turn 2761
10th Pass, 6th Turn, 11th Month

L'rey : Bronze Codrath

It’d been months since their last encounter, was the thought that L’rey couldn’t quite shake as he strode along toward the docks on the hope Treyjen might be at his ship. Maybe he’d take it as a sign if he wasn’t; he didn’t really want to hunt the man down. An easy find would keep his resolve from wavering too much and potentially giving up before he had. He couldn’t deny his nervousness in the form of a touch of queasiness; he just hoped it wasn’t too obvious in the look on his face. His step was sure enough, he made sure of that.

Codrath was grumbling, a near constant mutter in the back of his mind, and that was mostly L’rey’s fault for daring to remember the first meeting. Why his rider was bothering himself with the person who’d upset him was beyond the bronze, and oh, if he could have his way, he’d be making L’rey stay put instead of the other way around. His growling and hovering would be an unwelcome distraction and probably frightening to people not used to being growled at and towered over by a huge bronze dragon.

But that was beside the point. Codrath wouldn’t be talking to Treyjen; it’d been surprising enough to hear him talk so readily to Yva, but then, his cousin flattered the bronze without fail, so perhaps not so odd. He’d sit for hours if someone would appeal to his vain side- and Yva did like to chatter. A half smirk at the thought pulled at the young rider’s lips for a moment before vanishing again, and he paused for a moment as he reached the ship he knew would be docked here. His arm reached out, the tips of his fingers brushing smooth wood for a heartbeat before a lazy wave pushed it past his reach; above, the lettering of its name showed vividly in the morning light.

There was plenty of activity, given that it was edging toward midday, and L’rey dodged men and women as he headed for the gangplank and made his way up it. He’d never been aboard the Storm’s Eye before, but the motion of the ship beneath his feet was surprisingly familiar given his Turns of being ashore. Easy enough to remember how to walk with the back and forth tilting, how to set his feet as he paused-and then those thoughts were driven from his mind as he spotted Treyjen in conversation with another man; unfamiliar, though that was no surprise. He envisioned himself casually strolling over to greet his father, hesitated when, just as he shifted to do so, someone walked past him on their way off the Storm’s Eye, and felt himself jump in a mix of excitement and uncertainty when his father’s gaze found him. L’rey managed not to duck his head, shove his hands in his pockets and flee like a coward, but lifted a hand in a short wave instead, keeping his back straight and his feet planted where he stood.
Zen

[Zen]

Treyjen

It was the first day he hadn’t planned on waking up early to work and he had taken full advantage of it, drinking and gaming with several friends from his crew late into the night, and subsequently sleeping in quite late to avoid the worst of the hangover that followed. There’d be plenty more nights like that with how long they’d be at Mavros this stay… it would be difficult to keep himself entertained ashore for so long, but he had promised Asirikai his vote come turn’s end, and the votes of the majority of his crew, and they could hardly vote for him if they weren’t there. They had no time to sail elsewhere and back again without it being a rather fruitless endeavor, and so their stay was an extended one instead, much to Treyjen’s displeasure. At least his crew would have some decent time with their families, the ones that had families anyway. The rest of them could drink and game the nights away in the mean time.

“Join us tonight, Jusikar. Y’really could use some loosening up,” Treyjen tossed a suggestive grin at his second and the man sighed, ever resistant to his open references to the nature of their relationship.

“You know I’m a lightweight, captain… and I prefer to be in control of myself.”

“Bah! Y’wouldn’t be such a lightweight if y’just drank more. No need t’be so uptight, mate. Besides if y’do I-” the words died on his tongue all of a sudden as he spotted L’rey and whatever he’d been about to say fled his mind. Uncertainty and insecurity both chased away his jovial mood and it took him a long moment to get his bearings back from the sudden, unexpected appearance of his son. Not that he’d really been expecting much warning should L’rey come looking for him… though he might have gotten lucky and someone else could have intercepted him first, let him know he was there so he could better brace himself for the coming conversation. Shells but it was really something how easily his own son could catch him so off guard.

“Captain?” Jusikar followed his gaze, raising a brow at the boy as he waved. It wasn’t the same boy that had been working with them the last several days, Treyjen’s son Treyvin. But he also knew from Yelanna that Treyjen had another son at Mavros, the one he’d left behind when they’d turned pirate. Ah… that might explain his reaction then. He cleared his throat lightly, drawing Treyjen’s attention back, “I’ll be heading ashore for a while, captain.”

Treyjen nodded absently, his gaze quickly shifting back to L’rey, “Right….” He stood there for a moment as Jusikar took his leave, giving the boy a friendly smile as he passed by, before he finally forced his feet to move. He approached L’rey with some amount of hesitation, despite his best efforts, and an uncertain sort of smile tugged at his lips briefly, “Been wondering if you’d come around soon….” Great Faranth but he still couldn’t seem to find the right words to say, feeling as helplessly out of his depth as the last time they’d spoken, “I mean… I’m glad you came, I… I was hoping you would.” Why did everything he said to him sound so pathetic to his own ears? He was about to invite him to talk in his quarters, but… he didn’t know for sure if the boy wanted to spend any more time with him than to tell him he’d decided he didn’t want anything to do with him. “Ah… I take it you’ve thought on what I asked, then? I’ll honor it, whatever it is, whatever you’d like from me….” Even if what he wanted was absolutely nothing. L’rey had every right to deny him, to reject him and move on with his life as if they’d never reunited in the first place. All he could do was respect whatever decision the boy had come to.

Taxx

[Taxx]

L'rey : Bronze Codrath

The stranger looked over at L’rey, following Treyjen’s sudden stare, before turning back to the captain. A few more words passed before he departed, passing L’rey with a smile that the boy returned. He didn’t know if the man knew him, or had guessed or if the end to their conversation had been coincidence- but little of that mattered. Briefly he thought he might get to know the sailor better, later, if this went well, but for now?

Treyjen was approaching. L’rey watched, waited, until he paused a foot away before finally lifting his gaze to meet his father’s. “Um,” he began- and scoffed at himself because that was a way to start a talk. Appropriate for the awkwardness, he supposed. “Yeah- I knew you were here a few days ago but…” Half of him had hoped Treyjen would look for him so he wouldn’t have to, the other half had wondered if Treyjen would want to see him. They hadn’t exactly had a great reunion.

Hearing that he’d been hoping for L’rey to come by was helpful. Made him feel like he wasn’t messing up by trying to pursue something that wasn’t really wanted- just saying what he’d thought L’rey would like to hear. Which was nice, because in all truthfulness he did want to at least try. If Treyjen did too, this might not be the disaster he’d feared.

He’d sort of considered things he had wanted to say, but now that he was here they were all slipping away and he was just left with the uncertain attempts at conversation. “I did. I guess I should start by thanking you, last time- you know, for not trying to push. I don’t think… meeting like that, it was sudden, and I needed time to… I don’t even know, really. It kinda made sense, you know? Getting time to realize it was you, and that we were… that we could- get to know each other again.” There was so much more to it, and a lot of it was just half-formed thoughts and feelings that would take too much time to try to put into words. L’rey gave a shrug, met Treyjen’s gaze again, hoped he’d understand.

“But I want to. I’d like your time, when you can spare it- when I can spare it.” A short smile before he dropped his gaze again to the rail to his right. “And I didn’t tell them, like you asked. I visit them, Uncle Rey and everyone, but I didn’t tell them that you harbor in Mavros. I don’t think it’s likely that they’ll ever visit, so it should be okay?”
Zen

[Zen]

Treyjen

Somehow it was both better and worse that L’rey seemed to have no more idea how to have a proper conversation with him than he did, the boy’s words just as halting and scattered as his own. His thanks for not trying to push a relationship was met with another small smile, a slight nod, as he held his tongue and simply waited for L’rey to finish with whatever he wanted to say, bracing himself as best he could for the answer he’d been dreading hearing since their last meeting.

When he said he did indeed want to get to know him, to spend time with him, he felt suddenly light with relief. He didn’t think, if the roles were reversed, he would have given himself a second chance. Perhaps that was Rey’s influence… raising L’rey to be a better man than he was. He closed his eyes for a moment against the swell of emotions it all brought up in him, a confusing mix of things too numerous to pinpoint and name.

Treyjen’s gaze came back to L’rey as the boy assured him he hadn’t told their family he was here. He’d nearly forgotten about that, in his relief that L’rey wanted to build a proper relationship with him. He wasn’t sure if he could believe they’d never come here. L’rey was a bronzerider and he couldn’t imagine his father not trying to use that connection somehow to his advantage in the future. It was what his father did, use people, his own family most of all. But that they didn’t know he was here, for now, was enough. He didn’t want to dwell on those what ifs at the moment. L’rey was here now and that was far more important.

“Well… you’ve my thanks for that…. And I… I can’t tell you how much it means to hear that, that you… that there’s a place in your life for me. I’m happy to make time for you, when I’m here….” Like I used to. The thought came, and memories of his little boy running to jump into his arms whenever he’d return to Tillek and make his visits. Would it ever stop hurting to think about how much he’d missed of L’rey growing up? All the opportunities that had slipped by, to teach him, to support him, to just… be part of his life, make sure he knew his father wanted and loved him, like he’d promised.

He cleared his throat of the emotion that briefly threatened to roughen his voice and gestured back toward his quarters, “Would you… do you have time now, to talk for a bit? I’d like to hear about your dragon.” That seemed a safe enough place to start. It took him a moment, but he managed to recall the bronze’s name, “Codrath, wasn’t it?”

Taxx

[Taxx]

L'rey : Bronze Codrath

Eyes averted, L'rey waited for whatever would be said next, unable to help fidgeting in the moment before the reply came; he pressed both hands flat to his legs to keep them still. This was probably the most nerve-wracking thing he'd ever done. Even standing for that Hatching hadn't been so bad. He'd hardly had time, then, to let his nerves build to this point before he'd Impressed... this was a part of his past that would shape his future. In one way or another.

He wasn't really sure why he'd felt there was a chance Treyjen would refuse. Or maybe it was just- trying not to get his hopes up too much and find himself disappointed if he did. Had to be nerves, right? After all, Treyjen had been the one to initially ask to be a part of his life, and it'd been L'rey to tell him no. Or, not yet. Offering that chance now... and having it taken readily, eased his worries, and as he turned back to Treyjen, L’rey smiled, this time with warmth.

“How long will you be staying?” he asked, pulling in a breath and letting it out as he eased the tension from his muscles; he followed his father’s gesture toward the door leading to his quarters and nodded. “Oh, yeah. We have a Wing practice later I can’t miss, but there’s a few hours yet…” And his smile grew, softened a bit at the mention of Codrath. What rider didn’t want to talk of their dragon? Even if said dragon was being a huge grouch because he didn’t like the attention his rider was giving someone else. You’ll live, and I’ll be back soon enough.

I don’t like him.

Big shock. “What do you want to know? You- you’ve been here a while, you heard we graduated, right? Me and Cody, we’re full riders now. Been through Threadfall, even. I could tell you about that, maybe?” He was pretty sure Treyjen didn’t want to hear about how his dragon had a huge jealous streak about him.
Zen

[Zen]

Treyjen

Tensions seemed to be easing between them, as they both realized they wanted the same thing. When L’rey asked how long he’d be staying, he was reminded that it was far longer than he’d like. But maybe, now that L’rey wanted to get to know him - and there was Treyvin also, and between them he couldn’t forget to give his daughter some of his time either - it wouldn’t be such a terrible thing to stay at Mavros for a while. “Til after turn’s end,” he answered after a moment, “So I’ll have plenty of free time to spare.”

Hearing that they could spend some time together now, Treyjen led the boy to his quarters and away from the prying eyes of his crew still hanging around on deck. Between Yva, Treyvin, and L’rey, strange children coming aboard to seek him out was becoming an oddly common occurrence and it was none of their sharding business. Wing practice, L’rey had mentioned, and as he closed the door and L’rey went on, also mentioning his graduation, he felt a prickle of that familiar guilt. Just another milestone he’d missed.

He had indeed heard by now that the weyrlings that had come back from traveling through time had graduated, which meant L’rey was a full fledged rider now. There’d been a celebration for it only about a sevenday before their return to Mavros. He’d been so close, but he’d missed it. He hadn’t thought to ask, to try to keep track and be back for it, because of how their meeting had ended. He’d mostly done his best to just… not think about L’rey after that, with all the uncertainty hanging over them.

He pushed those feelings down for now, because it was clear L’rey was actually pretty eager to talk about being a rider, and dragons may be able to travel through time, but he could not, and so the past was lost to him and there was nothing he could do about what was already done. The chance to build a new relationship with his son had presented itself and continuing to dwell on the mistakes of the past was going to make it difficult to move forward to something better. “I did hear, congratulations… I’m sorry I didn’t make it back in time for the celebration,” he felt he ought to say that much, but he forced himself not to dwell on it, latching onto L’rey’s suggestion instead in order to keep moving forward, “I had wondered if you’d faced Thread yet, considering you were practicing last I saw you.”

He pulled out a chair at the table in the middle of the room, waved his hand at it in invitation for L’rey to sit if he’d like, and took his own seat. It was difficult to imagine L’rey fighting Thread. He was still so young, and should be younger, but his trip back in time had aged him some. Still… he seemed too young to be doing what was probably the most dangerous thing on Pern. It left him with mixed feelings, with pride for his son’s courage and more than a little concern for his life, which had been far too short to be ended any time soon by some horrific Threadfall accident. “What’s it like? Being up close and personal with Thread?” he couldn’t help but glance over the boy then, mildly scrutinizing, “You’ve not been scored yet, I take it?”

He had some experience with Thread as there’d been times they had been stuck in a fall at sea, as riders had no need to protect the sea from Thread and so it fell freely there. Sometimes he could piece together news from the little coastal holds they visited about when and where Thread would be falling, but often times not. Ships were built with Thread in mind, however. The ability to flood the decks and various metal coverings that could be pulled out when needed kept most of the ship safe from being consumed, and repairs could be made to the rest, so long as she was still afloat. There was always damage, and plenty of it, but they survived. Flying into it on purpose was an entirely different sort of madness, a call to do right by Pern that he simply did not have. “And your bronze? Has he had better luck since your practice?” Though he hadn’t had terrible luck then, it seemed to Treyjen. Getting hit once didn’t seem too bad in their first go at it… though getting hit once with real Thread could very well be a different matter.

Taxx

[Taxx]

L'rey : Bronze Codrath

This was easier. The initial awkwardness of their meeting was fading, if not entirely gone yet, as L’rey followed Treyjen to his cabin for the peace to talk without interruption. Hopefully. Treyjen was their captain, so they might have to deal with people coming by with questions- but maybe a closed door would turn them away? L’rey knew little about how the relationship between Treyjen and the sailors worked, but maybe that was something he could learn too.

He shrugged on the topic of his graduation, but smiled and nodded acceptance of the well wishes. He didn’t want to say he wasn’t unbothered by not having Treyjen there, because he was, but he hadn’t really been alone either- and Treyjen had only been doing as asked. And he had a job that was going to pull him away sometimes, that was just the reality of it. So, instead of saying “It’s okay,” when he didn’t feel like it was, he settled for the nod to show he’d heard but wasn’t sure how to reply that didn’t make one or both of them feel bad about the missed opportunity. He would have liked Treyjen there, but it hadn’t happened and dwelling on it wasn’t how they would move forward.

He sat in the chair pulled out for him, tucking one leg beneath him as he did so and nodding again as his gaze roamed over the room. There weren’t many things out- which made sense, being on a ship and all, just plenty of closed shelves lining the walls. The tub of water caught his attention, and he stared at it before wondering if Treyjen had a seaspitter; he recalled someone mentioning their spitter enjoying splashing around in a bucket and the need to keep towels on hand as a result. He scanned the cabin again but he couldn’t spot the creature, so maybe it was out at the moment?

“A few times,” he replied, turning his attention back to Treyjen to continue their conversation. “And I suppose technically we’re not quite full riders? I’m not allowed in any Wing but Zephyr Wing- with the queens- because I’m too young.” He couldn’t quite help a roll of his eyes in mute annoyance at that. He might understand the caution- didn’t mean he had to like it. “Codrath hates it, but because of where we are, he hasn’t really been badly hurt. He’s taken a couple nicks in the Falls we’ve been through, but nothing that slows him down or even scars, really. He just thinks it’s holding him back which means I have to keep him in check or he’d be off to tag on to another ‘real’ Wing. He’s… he’s a handful. But…” Another shrug, as a grin crossed his face at his helplessness in the face of his partnership with the bronze who was the most important thing in his life.

As it should be.

"Where did you go, when you left?" L'rey asked, ignoring the smug comment and indicating his curiosity about his father's travels and wanting to know more about him, rather than going on and on about his own adventures in Weyr life.
Zen

[Zen]

Treyjen

Treyjen didn’t exactly know the significance of flying in a Wing with queens, though he could guess that the golds probably weren’t the first line of defense. He knew nothing of Threadfighting strategy or how the Wings arranged themselves to fight a fall. It had never been relevant to him before. He realized there were probably quite a lot of details about being a dragonrider that he simply had no idea about, because why would he? But he didn’t mind learning about it through his son’s experience. It was rather obvious the boy wasn’t terribly pleased about being relegated to fight with the queens due to his age, but Treyjen felt some relief over the less dangerous position he apparently had, for now at least. “Mm, well, the Pass is young. You’ll have plenty of chances to fight.”

He let out a soft laugh as L’rey told him that the bronze was a handful, “Well that does seem to be common in bronzes, I’ve heard. Strong willed dragons require a strong willed rider, aye?” Despite his saying such a thing, L’rey’s affection for the beast was also evident, which was hardly surprising. Treyjen had dealt with enough dragonriders at Mavros to know their dragons were the easiest way to their hearts. “Got the feeling he didn’t like me much, not that I blame him, considering….” Considering the circumstances of their meeting. “Do you think I’ve a chance to make a better impression?” He would prefer if his son’s dragon liked him, but the poor first impression may have already ruined that possibility. Though he had heard that dragons had poor memories, so perhaps not.

The question L’rey lobbed back at him gave him a moment’s pause as he considered just how to answer. He would have much rather kept talking about L’rey and his dragon, but he had been prepared for questions, some of which he may not particularly want to answer. That was a question with such a broad ranging answer, it wasn’t too difficult to be truthful without having to admit things he didn’t want to admit. “All over Pern, really,” he answered after a few heartbeats had passed, “Stealing a ship didn’t exactly give us any good options for a new place to settle… not until Mavros, at least.” L’rey was already quite aware of the fact that he’d stolen the Storm’s Eye, there was no harm in speaking of it. “It wasn’t easy making a new life with the way… your grandfather spread word of us in all the major ports.” He didn’t try to keep the disdain out of his voice.

He looked over at L’rey for a moment, preferring not to dwell on thoughts of his father or drag his son into the middle of their… feud was too lax a word. But because he knew how his father worked, he was curious about one thing, “He didn’t… your grandfather, he didn’t take anything out on you, did he? Over what I’d done? I… sometimes I’ve wondered, and… I just hope I didn’t make life any harder for you than… than it had to be.” It was a possibility he had only stopped to consider after he’d already left, and it was a thought that haunted him quite a bit. He doubted Rey would let their father actually hurt the boy, but… his father’s tongue worked nearly as well as a lash. He was quite good at tearing people down when he was in his temper, and he could imagine quite vividly things the man could have said to his son, because he wasn’t there to take his anger out on instead.

Taxx

[Taxx]

L'rey : Bronze Codrath

That was true, sure, but it didn’t mean much when L’rey knew it would be a good two Turns, at the least, before he and Codrath would be deemed mature enough to fly in a Wing other than Zephyr. He sighed for the days that stretched out ahead of him until then, a sigh echoed in his mind. Still, dwelling on it would be pointless- and useless. Nobody was going to change their minds because they were unhappy with their position.

“Ah- yeah. I mean, for sure. We… we might have got into some trouble because he gets these ideas in his mind and I haven’t always been able to stop him.” Or- unwilling. But L’rey kept that to himself because he didn’t really want to spill the fact that he’d let the Impression go to his head for a bit. A punishment and, more lasting, a disapproving lecture from Reyloran had made him realize that just because he’d gotten lucky, wasn’t reason to forget to be decent to others. It hadn’t made Codrath any less prideful or stubborn, but L’rey at least had got better about trying to tone him down when he got pushy or rude.

He blinked at the question on Codrath’s acceptance of Treyjen and couldn’t help the quick frown that crossed his face at the answering growl, which was probably answer enough for Treyjen, but he replied anyway: “I would like that, but… I remember. And so he remembers, and he… he didn’t like how we met. How it affected me. He…” L’rey cut himself off, sensing that they were going down that same path and not wanting it. Treyjen blamed himself enough without L’rey heaping more reasons on him, and neither of them would move past if it kept getting brought back up. “Maybe, some day? I mean, he likes Yva of all people, so you’ve got hope, right?” Hopefully, one day when… if… they could put all of this behind them and build new memories, better ones, on top of the bad.

Never.

Grouch. You gonna really hold that grudge forever?

Yes. Another growl, aimed at Treyjen even though he was nowhere near close enough for the man to hear, and L’rey could almost hear the scrape of claws against stone as one massive paw raked over the floor of their weyr.

Good luck with that. I won’t be reminding you.

He’d been listening with half an ear even through the exchange with Codrath, coming back just Treyjen explained their ability to settle at Mavros, and he nodded again his understanding at that; his mind went back to something Treyvin had asked- Treyjen’s initial reason for leaving Tillek. It had roused L’rey’s own curiosity; he knew the basic reasons, of course, but maybe he could gain new insight into the whys of Treyjen’s flight- and Nalyra’s own reasons for not wanting to get married as… well, as ordered, pretty much. L’rey knew Treylok’s tendency to expect his family to obey in spite of what they wanted.

“Oh- I mean.” It was almost tempting to say no, but who would he be kidding? “I don’t remember anything directly afterward, and growing up I didn’t have much to do with him since he worked a lot. You know that much, I’m sure. But, yeah, sometimes. Uncle Rey kept him… kept us apart as much as possible, but he’d say things if we ever were in the same room. But it was only little things now and then… Jeylokar hardly paid attention to me and Grandma, Uncle Rey and Aunt Wyliva were all great. I think… I mean, I would have liked to be with you, at Tillek, but-” He broke off again and shrugged. Things had turned out well enough, he supposed. They certainly could have been worse. "He's been nicer, lately. Said he was wrong to say all that about me and that I was doing pretty well for myself after all. Said he was proud of me, for Impressing Cody."


A short pause, because he couldn't quite help remembering how that had made him feel, getting approval from the stodgy old man after all this time. He couldn't get lost in that though, and his next question was asked in hopes of getting more information. “Can I ask why? I don’t mean to keep bringing it up, and yet I still do… Just. What happened- with you and Aunt Nalyra? Why did you leave?”
Zen

[Zen]

Treyjen

He couldn’t help the amusement that passed over his features as L’rey hinted at just how willful a beast his bronze really was. He didn’t have a whole lot of experience dealing with dragons, despite his time at Mavros, but L’rey’s seemed like he would be amusing if nothing else. But then he was rather used to trouble. L’rey’s frown at his question loosened a small laugh from him. Well, apparently he had ruined his chances. The explanation sobered him a bit, but he shrugged, “I don’t blame him. He has every right not to like me.” He chuckled at the mention of Yva though, “What’s not to like about that girl? Unless you like peace and quiet, anyway.”

Hearing that his father had at times said things was not at all surprising, but that Rey had kept them apart, mostly, was a relief. He didn’t know how he could ever repay his brother for everything he’d done for L’rey. Grandma. It had been turns probably since he’d really thought about his mother, and he’d not really stopped to consider her own relationship with his son. Apparently it was a good one, which also wasn’t surprising. She’d always doted on the boy, back before he’d left, and there wasn’t much reason for that to change after he had. It had always seemed like she was trying to help make up for the fact that he didn’t have his mother. He felt how he tensed instantly as L'rey said Treylok had admitted he was wrong. His father would never do such a thing, not unless he was working an angle. Any ground his father gave on an issue was poisoned. L'rey was a bronzerider... and just he himself had done when he'd first approached the boy on the beach, his father was trying to make good with him now, before he possibly became a future Weyrleader. Part of him wanted to warn the boy, but for now, maybe... it was better to just let him enjoy having a bit of approval after so much scorn. Even if it was a lie. It didn't sit well with him, but he'd have to think on it more, perhaps wait until his father actually made a move of some sort... but would that be too late? He hoped his son would be able to see through his father's machinations on his own, and that any desire for his grandfather's approval wouldn't blind him to reality. It would require monitoring, at least.

The question that followed he had also been waiting for, honestly, and he drew in a long breath as he considered where to start. “It… was a culmination of turns of things my father had done… all coming to a head, the last thing I could take… or couldn’t take. Refused to take,” he spoke slowly, because remembering made him angry and if he went too quickly it’d be harder to keep his temper under control, “He wasn’t a father in any sense, really. He used us to his own ends. Rey… Rey was the lucky one that escaped him early, because he no longer saw a use for him when he failed as a trader before he’d even reached his 14th turn.” On the table, his hand clenched into a fist at the memory of that day, when his father had informed Rey he wouldn’t be sailing with them anymore, that he’d go to live with an uncle and apprentice as a fisher, and that was that. Treylok had told the boy in no uncertain terms of his uselessness as a trader. His father never softened any blow he dealt.

He shook his head slightly, to shake off the memory, “He’d already arranged a marriage for Jeylokar turns before… dutiful Jeylokar obeyed. I, fortunately, was too much of a disgrace already when I came of age for marriage for him to try to force it on me, as he said he’d never saddle anyone’s poor daughter with me for a husband.” He let out a soft, cold laugh. As if his father gave a damn about some random girl he could use to get more ships in his fleet? It was more that he could further damage his reputation through a poor marriage, probably… or maybe that he’d already tried but his reputation led to refusals.

“But Nalyra he could threaten,” he continued after a moment, staring at his own clenched fist but not really seeing it. He closed his eyes for a moment to calm himself down as the memory brought forth more anger, “He tried to use me against her. She would obey or he would take my ship from me and leave us both in Tillek. I tried to talk to him, don’t know why I thought it would have any effect…. I was… angry, furious, couldn’t stand to be another one of his pawns anymore, couldn’t stand to let Nalyra become one. There were other ways. We could have just left, the two of us….” He glanced up at L’rey then, remembering just who he was talking to, and had to admit it, “Three of us.”

He could have taken Nalyra, taken his son, and tried to start a new life in Tillek, or anywhere. Shells, Rey would have taken them in. It had been an option, but not one he’d really considered. He’d been too young, reckless, and let his temper get the better of him. He’d wanted to strike a blow back at Treylok. So instead of doing the more sensible thing, he’d convinced half his crew to steal a ship with him instead. Selfish is what it had been, which was why he owed it to his crew to do right by them ever since. “I was angry… and my pride wouldn’t let me give up my ship. And I wanted to do something… something to repay him for how he’d treated us. The only thing that man cares about is business, money, his reputation. The Storm’s Eye was the first ship he’d commissioned in turns… she was a pricey investment. Taking her would hurt him more than anything. So I did.”

He sat back in his chair with a sigh, glancing away from L’rey, “I’m afraid I… share his temper. Particularly when I was younger, it often got the better of me, and that… that was one of those times. It wasn’t a well thought out plan, and you… you paid for it.” He turned his gaze back to his son, “I never meant to leave you, I… I wasn’t thinking clearly. I hated him so much for leaving Rey behind and then I… I did the same to you. That’s all I could think… whenever I thought about you.” His voice softened as he looked away again, too ashamed to look his son in the eye, “And I was too weak to carry the guilt. It’s why I never… never wrote you, tried to contact you at all… thinking about you was too painful for me.” He couldn’t even admit the real truth; that he had to drink away his memory every time it popped up, that he wouldn’t even let anyone talk about him because he really was too weak to face the guilt even the slightest mention of him brought with it, to face the similarities between himself and his own father and how they’d both failed in fatherhood.

He ran a hand through his hair, finally forcing his gaze back to L’rey, “I was young, foolish, vindictive, and though Nalyra’s happiness, her freedom, spurred me to action… it would be a lie to tell you it was our only option, or the best option. It was just the one I chose at the time, in anger. There are things I regret about it, and things I don’t, but mostly it’s… just you. And if I had to make the choice again, it would only be leaving you that would make me change my mind now that I’ve lived with this choice for turns. Everything else that followed, I can live with, but you… I shouldn’t have left you.”

Taxx

[Taxx]

L'rey : Bronze Codrath

L’rey would have preferred Codrath at least somewhat tolerating Treyjen- a bland sort of acceptance like he gave everyone unless they annoyed or pleased him- but that day on the beach had set the standard. For now. L’rey didn’t expect to dwell on that for the rest of his life, and dragons on their own had short memories. So maybe the potential was there, for them to meet without his bronze being a pain. Even if he was currently insisting he’d have nothing to do with Treyjen ever.

An eye roll was his only reaction to Yva, but then he grinned because he did like her. She was a bit loud sometimes and liked to talk, but she was one of the more fun cousins he had. The smile faded as he shifted in his chair, pulling up his other leg and crossing them, gaze fixed on Treyjen as he began to explain the circumstances behind his abrupt departure. He didn’t know all that much about Treylok, really, but he’d certainly seen moments of the man’s short temper and his insistence on being obeyed by his children and grandchildren. Jeylokar was similar, though even he bent to Treylok’s demands and he rarely so much as tried to offer suggestions that might contradict the older man’s wishes.

It also answered a question Reyloran never had- not really- about why he wasn’t in the trading craft like Treylok and Jeylokar. Rey had always told him that he’d chosen to be a fisher, but it hadn’t really made sense considering that most of the family were traders- why wouldn’t Treylok want Reyloran in the business too?

Most of this, L’rey had known. Treylok had wanted Nalyra to marry, but she hadn’t wanted to, and in an effort to help her avoid it, Treyjen had taken her and fled with the ship; the only method they had of escape. And, as he explained, a way to hurt Treylok in return for the ways he had hurt them over the Turns. Revenge, pure and simple, as well as the intent to escape their father’s grasp.

The in-depth mention of his feelings- the guilt for leaving L’rey, the anger at his own father and his impulsive decision to run, which he admitted wasn’t their only option or even the best one- but which was the one he’d chosen in the end, so it didn’t make sense, this wishful thinking. It didn’t change anything, even if they both wished otherwise. L’rey glanced downward, watching his hands as they rested in his lap, before looking up again.

“I don’t know. It was like, maybe for the best? I mean, I’ve thought about it too. I thought about what it would have been like, you know? Being with you and Aunt Nalyra, living on the Storm’s Eye, sailing around Pern. But it wasn’t so bad, living with Uncle Rey and Aunt Weyliva in Tillek. If you’d asked, back then, I probably would have jumped at the chance to stay with you- but I don’t know anymore. I mean, I can’t now, obviously, but before I got searched, or Impressed? I don’t know. I just don’t. I... I hope that doesn't bother you.” A touch of anxiety at the thought of Treyjen being upset at the idea that L'rey might not have jumped at the chance to accompany him on his journeys.
Zen

[Zen]

Treyjen

It was easier than he had thought it would be, telling L’rey his story, admitting things to him that he was used to drowning with whiskey. Those what ifs would rear their heads sometimes. What if he had just taken Nalyra to stay with Rey, raised his son, found work on some other ship? But they were pointless to wonder about because it was the past and there was nothing he could do about it, so he drank them away instead. But he’d laid it out for L’rey, admitted that there had been an option that could have kept them together and he hadn’t chosen to take it. But the response his son gave had no anger to it, as he had half expected, and the thought of him living aboard the Storm’s Eye with him as opposed to safe in Tillek with his brother was not something Treyjen had ever wished for.

He shook his head lightly, “No… you’re right. Rey… he gave you stability, a family… a good family, one you deserved. All I could have given you was uncertainty. The way we live, the way I live, because of the choices I made… it isn’t something I would ever want for you.” Taking L’rey with him had never been an option he would have considered. Living aboard a stolen ship wouldn’t give his son any sort of life, and then when they’d turned pirate? He probably could have sheltered the boy from it for a time, but eventually he’d get old enough to figure it out, and it wasn’t something he’d ever want to expose him to.

He offered L’rey a soft smile, “I’m just glad you found a path in life that makes you happy. That’s all I could hope for you, that in spite of my choices, you would thrive. And you have. My father tried to control us so much, all I ever wanted for you was to give you the freedom to be whoever you wanted to be.” He laughed softly, “And now you’re a dragonrider, and I’m sure that Codrath of yours would never let anyone else tell you who you are, aye?”

Sitting back in his chair, Treyjen drew in a long breath and let it out slowly. Speaking with L’rey like this, it felt like a weight was lifting off his chest and it was easier to breathe, somehow. He’d carried around so much guilt surrounding his son, no matter how good he’d gotten at ignoring it, but facing L’rey now, beginning to mend what he’d broken was… healing. Rey really had done well with him, not that he would have expected anything different. There was no question in his mind that Rey was the best of them. Rey may have gotten some silly notion in his mind when he was younger that Jeylokar was the pinnacle of what Treylok’s children should be, but for Treyjen it had always been Rey he’d looked up to. The rest of them had been so easy to corrupt, but Rey had remained good, decent, despite Treylok’s best efforts to harden his heart. That was a different sort of strength that Treyjen could admit he did not possess.

“You didn’t have to do this… I would never have blamed you if you hadn’t wanted anything to do with me. I… I wouldn’t have, if I were you,” another short laugh escaped him, “Already, I think, you’re a better man than I, and I can only imagine it must be Rey’s influence. Thank you… for giving me a chance I never thought I would get.” After a moment he cleared his throat and spread his hands, “Ah… do you have any other questions for me? I don’t want you to be afraid to ask anything… whatever’s on your mind, I’ll answer.” Answers. Truth. He owed him that much, even if some questions might be more difficult to answer than others. But surely the worst was already out of the way?

Taxx

[Taxx]

L'rey :: Bronze Codrath

Treyjen understood, which was an instant relief, though not too strange. Treyjen knew all too well the dangers of his life, definitely more than L’rey did, and even if part of him had wanted to be with his father for the possible memories he’d have now, he knew that, as with his life in Tillek, there’d be bad with the good. Better, this way. For L’rey at least. He sighed, still wishing things had turned out different, had turned out better, for both of them. For all that there was no point in wishing, he couldn’t help it.

A smile on the comment about Codrath, and he nodded. Cody could be a bully- and he was trying to work on that, really he was- but there was no denying that he wouldn’t hesitate to stand up to anyone who dared disrespect or threaten L’rey.

I don’t like him.

A puff of breath, amusement and annoyance at the same time. “After that? You really don’t like anyone, do you?”

I like you. You’re someone. It counts.

Thanks. Thanks a lot. Good to know you like the one you Impressed. A sense of a yawn of boredom, and L’rey rolled his eyes before focusing back on Treyjen. He blinked, hesitated, and looked away. He knew he didn’t have to, and part of him (the part that he was sure was Cody) had given him plenty of reasons not to. But… he’d wanted to. He’d taken time to let it sink in that his father was here. That he was alive, flesh and blood, not dead somewhere or just a tale told to make him feel better or worse, depending on the kin he talked to. He was here, suddenly closer than L’rey had ever thought he’d be, and it had been too much to take in at the time.

“You listened. You did what I asked. It helped.” Rubbing his hands along his legs, L’rey went on, gaze flicking toward Treyjen and then away, a bit too anxious to hold the older man’s gaze. “I barely remembered you. I just… I have this one cloudy memory of you and it’s dark but there’s stars, and you’re talking. I knew it was you, and I guess I kinda wanted to… I mean, not be like that, because we’ve come too far, but maybe something close to it.”

Another hesitation and an almost automatic nod at the invitation to ask questions, taking a moment to consider what he wanted to ask about. What he wanted to know- and landing on one that he’d wondered about a lot when he’d been younger. Couldn’t hurt to start with, maybe? “Um. Well- Uncle Rey said you used to call me Shipfish. Like a lot. That’s true? Why?”

Zen

[Zen]

Treyjen

It took Treyjen a moment to realize that his son wasn’t speaking to him when he made some comment about not liking anyone, but he had that look he’d seen too often on dragonriders when they were speaking to their dragons. He couldn’t help but shake his head slightly, as it was still strange to think of his son as a rider. Not even a weyrling, but a full fledged rider. Even if he was limited by his age yet. L’rey was taking that probably better than he would have at his age. Being held back certainly wouldn’t have sat well with a teenage Treyjen. He attributed that to Rey’s influence as well.

Truth be told, after their reunion, Treyjen had needed some time to come to terms with L’rey being here as well. He’d spiraled, after that meeting, worse than he probably ever had before, but after… Lanna had spent plenty of time with him, a voice of reason and a source of calm as he fought through the turmoil that L’rey’s appearance had given rise to within his mind. There had been a lot of confusingly conflicting emotions, emotions he was used to dealing with by drowning them with whatever drink he could find. But he couldn’t move forward with his son if he continued to do so. He had to face them, begin to work through them, and Lanna had helped him begin that process.

It still stung, he was sure it would for a long while, for L’rey to say that he barely remembered him. It made sense, he didn’t expect otherwise, and he had often comforted himself with the idea that his son was too young to have much of any memory of him, to be able to properly miss him when he left him behind, but that didn’t make it any easier to hear. But the memory his son shared, and his desire to try to be close, like maybe they were once, like maybe they could have been, was like a balm on the wound. He cleared his throat of the emotion that had settled that, running his hand absently through his hair to rub at the back of his neck, “Ah… my memory of that is a bit hazy as well, t’be honest…. I’d been drinking with some of my crew beforehand… got it into my head that the middle of the night was a good time to visit my son of three some turns.”

He laughed lightly, taking the boy in for a moment, comparing his face with that of the little boy he remembered. The eyes were the same. His eyes. He’d always had a bit of pride over that, that his son had his eyes. He took rather more after his mother in most aspects, but they had the same eyes. “I’d wanted to teach you about the stars… begin to teach you how to navigate, for when….” He drew in a breath and let it out to control the emotion rising in his throat again, threatening to choke him for a moment, and looked down at his hand where it had clenched on the table before him without him realizing it. He forced it to relax, his voice soft, “I’d always thought you’d sail with me. I was looking forward to it…. I never got to teach you anything I’d wanted to.” There was real regret in his tone, but he shook his head, trying to push those feelings away. It wouldn’t change anything. Instead he offered a slight smile, “I’d like nothing more than to try to get something back of… what we could have had. Whatever we’re able to make of it.”

They would never sail together, he’d never be able to teach his son his trade and his passion, but just being able to be part of his son’s life was enough. The question that L’rey posed gave him a moment’s pause before another soft laugh escaped him. He wondered why Rey would even mention that. Maybe it was just something positive he was able to tell the boy about his father. There had to be little enough by way of options there. “Aye… picked it up from your grandmother, I suppose. Shipfish was her name for me when I was small. It just came naturally… to call you shipfish as well. A family tradition I didn’t mind passing on to you,” he mused. He wasn’t sure if his mother had ever called his older brothers by the pet name. She’d never used it for Nalyra. Perhaps she’d only used it for her sons. Now it had passed to Trillia, though he wasn’t sure just how L’rey would feel about him mentioning that, so he kept it to himself.

He mused further, “And maybe I hoped… when you got a bit older, before I could take you sailing with me… maybe you’d be playing on the beach and see them, shipfish, and… think of me. That you’d remember… what I told you about the shipfish in the stars.” He remembered that, the memory of their stargazing was hazy but he remembered the shipfish constellation, “It disappears for part of the turn, but it always comes back… just like I….” He couldn’t quite finish the statement, because he hadn’t come back in the end. Well, he supposed he had eventually, but certainly not on purpose, not as he had promised his son he would. He cleared his throat again, leaving those thoughts behind as the desire for a drink rose in him, “Well. There you are. Not much of a mystery, really.”