Post by Deleted on Feb 8, 2021 1:27:04 GMT -5
Xan headed into the healer hall just outside of the Hold’s main dining area, the children ran past with sticks, laughing as they passed. Xan however was silent, distracted, her eyes focused dead ahead, her hands stuffed deep into her pockets before she used a shoulder to push open the door and headed through the healer hall to the bed at the end of the room. She didn’t even look to the Healers who gave her little waves, faces full of sympathy.
“Hey… dad.” Xan uttered softly, moving to his bedside and settling down in the chair at the bed’s side. Xanthos, her father, shifted on his bed, his face despite trying to hide it was tight from the pain as he sat himself up. Xan moved in, her hand moving to his armpit and the other to his back to help him up.
“Knock it off kid. I’m sick, not helpless.” His words were clearly meant in humour but pain was heavily laced throughout. Xan moved back, watching him, her fingers lacing together as she fought off the urge to assist him regardless.
”How was your night?” Her voice remained flat but even in tone as Xanthos finally got himself into the sitting position.
“Woke up puking again..” he visibly winced this time. “Grab me some more pillows Red. I can’t get comfy.” Xan nodded without a word moved to her feet and retrieved some pillows; a Healer had gone over to help but was waved off by Xan with a look of ‘not right now’. Wandering back, she carefully placed the pillows behind him until he seemed satisfied before he rested back against him.
”The anti sickness meds not working?” Xan enquired softly, watching her father. He had changed so much, he had gone from a big guy to a skeleton in a matter of weeks. His skin was sagging and yellowed, his eyes lacking the light of the previous as his breathing laboured.
“Nah. Healers reckon I’m not going to be around much longer.” Xanthos patted his stomach, giving a chuckle. Despite everything he took his oncoming death with a surprising amount of calmness with a stoic disposition. “I thought you were going to be resting today.” Xan shook her head.
”Healers came and got me. Mother was meant to be here with you today.” Xan wasn’t surprised, the woman had wanted little to do with her husband now he was sick.
“She’s got her own things to do. I don’t blame her for not coming to watch me die, kid.” Xan’s chest tightened at those words. She should have been here, and because dad was too kind for his own good so of course he wouldn’t blame her. Xan felt the sharp prickling sensation travel from her throat up onto her cheeks and surround her eyes.
"Don’t you start crying on me now Kiddo. I’m okay.” His words just felt hollow.
”But you’re not okay. You’re dying… and as selfish as this may sound… I don’t want you to go... “ Her voice tightened up, a sharp gasp cutting into her words before her voice came a whimper as tears fattened in her eyes but did not fall. ”Don’t leave me.. please.”
Xanthos’s face dropped its cheerful disposition, his hand reaching out shakily to grip her and lightly tug her towards him. “C’mere kid.” He uttered quietly. Xan leant forward so her head rested lightly against his shoulder. Xanthos’s hand cupped her skull lightly, his fingers moved to stroke her hair.
“We all head off the mortal coil at some point kid.” His words were meant to comfort her, she knew that. Given her mentality, logic was a far better comfort to her that honeyed words ever were. “I’m just leaving sooner than intended.” He added on with a droll tone. Xan fought the urge to glare at him. Slowly moving a hand up, she gripped his tunic, her shoulders trembled for a moment before she exhaled slowly, forcing back the anguish and tears that threatened to spill out. She had to be strong, let him know that even though she didn’t want him to go, she’d be okay. With a thick swallow, she moved back, slowly straightening up as she looked back to him.
Healer entered the room, he had been caring for her father pretty much the whole time he had been ill. “I’m just here to give him an extra dose of Fellis and Alfalfa.” she stated quickly as Xan focused a hard stare at her. She gave her father the medicines and moved to leave. “If you need anything, just say.” The healer had whispered as she passed Xan on her way out. Xan briefly glanced at the Healer before returning her eyes to her dad.
”I did some more embroidery.” Her dad managed a faded grin, his medicines were starting to kick in, Xan noted silently, moving over to help him to lay back down.
“I’ll check it out later on Kid… I’m really tired.” His words slurred heavily as he sunk down on the bed. Xan barely managed a faint smile in response to him; once he was settled and asleep, Xan sat back, her eyes flickering along her father’s once strong and sturdy form. This was worse than watching him die, she was witnessing him rot from the inside out as the sickness sucked her father dry. She moved to open the bag she brought with her and carefully brought out a wooden hoop with some fabric pulled over it and began to embroider.
A few hours into her embroidering, she noticed that her father’s chest didn’t rise fully as it had before. ”Dad?” She whispered, freezing in place. He didn’t twitch, his chest wasn’t fully expanding as it had before.
“Love ya kiddo.” His voice was faint and whispery. Xan grit her teeth, and came out the words that probably haunt her for the rest of her days.
”It’s okay dad. You don’t have to hold on anymore… I love you. It’s okay to go.” She uttered, her voice tight, her mouth dry, as she saw a smile creep onto his lips. His chest sunk down as he heaved out a low sigh and then fell still.
Xan reached out with a shaking hand to touch his wrist, fumbling fingers touching, trying to feel for a pulse. For that moment, her world froze, internally it was like being smashed in the face with icy gale force winds. Her heart felt like it had stopped. Her stomach twisting into hard knots as she stared down at her father’s arm where her fingers were wrapped around his wrist. His skin was now cold to the touch. He had gone.
Her first thoughts had been to scream and cry but nothing escaped her, she stayed there, still as a statue, watching her father’s body. The Healer had come in, noting that Xan had not moved for a few minutes. She wandered over and did a few checks on Xanthos.
“I’m so sorry dear.” As if that helped, Xan wanted to snap back but instead remained silent. She was alone in this world now… and there hadn’t been a damned thing she could have done to help. She had sat there helpless and witnessed his passing, and didn’t even cry at realising he had gone. A hand gripped her shoulder in a silent offer of comfort. She shrugged it off. ’Don’t touch me.’ Her mind screamed ’Don’t fucking touch me!’ Xan remained silent, slowly pulling her hand away from Xanthos’s wrist. She carefully packed away her embroidery and moved to stand up.
“Hey… dad.” Xan uttered softly, moving to his bedside and settling down in the chair at the bed’s side. Xanthos, her father, shifted on his bed, his face despite trying to hide it was tight from the pain as he sat himself up. Xan moved in, her hand moving to his armpit and the other to his back to help him up.
“Knock it off kid. I’m sick, not helpless.” His words were clearly meant in humour but pain was heavily laced throughout. Xan moved back, watching him, her fingers lacing together as she fought off the urge to assist him regardless.
”How was your night?” Her voice remained flat but even in tone as Xanthos finally got himself into the sitting position.
“Woke up puking again..” he visibly winced this time. “Grab me some more pillows Red. I can’t get comfy.” Xan nodded without a word moved to her feet and retrieved some pillows; a Healer had gone over to help but was waved off by Xan with a look of ‘not right now’. Wandering back, she carefully placed the pillows behind him until he seemed satisfied before he rested back against him.
”The anti sickness meds not working?” Xan enquired softly, watching her father. He had changed so much, he had gone from a big guy to a skeleton in a matter of weeks. His skin was sagging and yellowed, his eyes lacking the light of the previous as his breathing laboured.
“Nah. Healers reckon I’m not going to be around much longer.” Xanthos patted his stomach, giving a chuckle. Despite everything he took his oncoming death with a surprising amount of calmness with a stoic disposition. “I thought you were going to be resting today.” Xan shook her head.
”Healers came and got me. Mother was meant to be here with you today.” Xan wasn’t surprised, the woman had wanted little to do with her husband now he was sick.
“She’s got her own things to do. I don’t blame her for not coming to watch me die, kid.” Xan’s chest tightened at those words. She should have been here, and because dad was too kind for his own good so of course he wouldn’t blame her. Xan felt the sharp prickling sensation travel from her throat up onto her cheeks and surround her eyes.
"Don’t you start crying on me now Kiddo. I’m okay.” His words just felt hollow.
”But you’re not okay. You’re dying… and as selfish as this may sound… I don’t want you to go... “ Her voice tightened up, a sharp gasp cutting into her words before her voice came a whimper as tears fattened in her eyes but did not fall. ”Don’t leave me.. please.”
Xanthos’s face dropped its cheerful disposition, his hand reaching out shakily to grip her and lightly tug her towards him. “C’mere kid.” He uttered quietly. Xan leant forward so her head rested lightly against his shoulder. Xanthos’s hand cupped her skull lightly, his fingers moved to stroke her hair.
“We all head off the mortal coil at some point kid.” His words were meant to comfort her, she knew that. Given her mentality, logic was a far better comfort to her that honeyed words ever were. “I’m just leaving sooner than intended.” He added on with a droll tone. Xan fought the urge to glare at him. Slowly moving a hand up, she gripped his tunic, her shoulders trembled for a moment before she exhaled slowly, forcing back the anguish and tears that threatened to spill out. She had to be strong, let him know that even though she didn’t want him to go, she’d be okay. With a thick swallow, she moved back, slowly straightening up as she looked back to him.
Healer entered the room, he had been caring for her father pretty much the whole time he had been ill. “I’m just here to give him an extra dose of Fellis and Alfalfa.” she stated quickly as Xan focused a hard stare at her. She gave her father the medicines and moved to leave. “If you need anything, just say.” The healer had whispered as she passed Xan on her way out. Xan briefly glanced at the Healer before returning her eyes to her dad.
”I did some more embroidery.” Her dad managed a faded grin, his medicines were starting to kick in, Xan noted silently, moving over to help him to lay back down.
“I’ll check it out later on Kid… I’m really tired.” His words slurred heavily as he sunk down on the bed. Xan barely managed a faint smile in response to him; once he was settled and asleep, Xan sat back, her eyes flickering along her father’s once strong and sturdy form. This was worse than watching him die, she was witnessing him rot from the inside out as the sickness sucked her father dry. She moved to open the bag she brought with her and carefully brought out a wooden hoop with some fabric pulled over it and began to embroider.
A few hours into her embroidering, she noticed that her father’s chest didn’t rise fully as it had before. ”Dad?” She whispered, freezing in place. He didn’t twitch, his chest wasn’t fully expanding as it had before.
“Love ya kiddo.” His voice was faint and whispery. Xan grit her teeth, and came out the words that probably haunt her for the rest of her days.
”It’s okay dad. You don’t have to hold on anymore… I love you. It’s okay to go.” She uttered, her voice tight, her mouth dry, as she saw a smile creep onto his lips. His chest sunk down as he heaved out a low sigh and then fell still.
Xan reached out with a shaking hand to touch his wrist, fumbling fingers touching, trying to feel for a pulse. For that moment, her world froze, internally it was like being smashed in the face with icy gale force winds. Her heart felt like it had stopped. Her stomach twisting into hard knots as she stared down at her father’s arm where her fingers were wrapped around his wrist. His skin was now cold to the touch. He had gone.
Her first thoughts had been to scream and cry but nothing escaped her, she stayed there, still as a statue, watching her father’s body. The Healer had come in, noting that Xan had not moved for a few minutes. She wandered over and did a few checks on Xanthos.
“I’m so sorry dear.” As if that helped, Xan wanted to snap back but instead remained silent. She was alone in this world now… and there hadn’t been a damned thing she could have done to help. She had sat there helpless and witnessed his passing, and didn’t even cry at realising he had gone. A hand gripped her shoulder in a silent offer of comfort. She shrugged it off. ’Don’t touch me.’ Her mind screamed ’Don’t fucking touch me!’ Xan remained silent, slowly pulling her hand away from Xanthos’s wrist. She carefully packed away her embroidery and moved to stand up.