A step at a time; [Parlhion/Muze]

[kevna]

Vanisha - Candidate

It felt so strange, walking through the halls, like déjà vu; except this time, she wasn’t lost. She watched the walls, looking for the tell-tale signs that she was going the right way, and easily found them. It was even stranger that she was seeking out a man, by herself, to accompany. She kept wanting to glance back, just to make sure she didn’t have a maid or chaperone following her. Which was silly. When would these… insecurities fall away? Why was it so difficult letting go of something she had wanted to let go of?

Like the dress that swished at her ankles. She had tried to put on the rider breeches her mother had gifted her, but they had felt so wrong that she had immediately changed back into the simple green gown she wore now. She would have to get used to breeches if she became a dragonrider… but the way they hugged her legs, making them appear longer… It went against everything she had known. The dress was a comfort, a cursed one, but a comfort all the same. Besides, she wasn’t sure how she would stand up against the inspection of men while wearing breeches. Parlhion had been nothing but a gentleman last she had seen him, but there were other men, more forward men, that already made her blush and feel like an awkward teen.

Half of her hair was braided in a crown atop her head, while the lower half fell in soft waves down her back. She shifted the winter cloak on her shoulders, so it lay better, and adjusted her warm brown leather gloves. These were rider gloves. She could take comfort that at least some part of her was adapting, even if it was just a small article of clothing at a time. Vanisha tapped on the door before opening it, folding her hands before her, one of her small, welcoming, and perfect smiles in place. It would hide her nerves, she was sure.

The redhead nodded to one of the harpers that murmured a welcome to her, walking past them and towards where Parlhion worked. “Good afternoon, Parlhion. How is your work going? Are you at a good stopping point?” She ignored the pointed looks that some of the others working tossed their way. She had plenty of onlookers her whole life, she wondered if that would ever change. She hoped so. She would love to be able to fade into a crowd, be the wallflower.

[tovaana]

Parlhion;

With every quick exact stroke, he felt like he was striking his soul – numbing it with boredom and concentration. He’d asked if they'd humor him, allowing him to decorate the more important copies – perhaps the ones that masters would use. They told him they’d consider it, but their looks hadn’t been promising. With him there, no duties but to copy or do menial tasks, it allowed the harpers to do more of their other works in creating music, teaching the music, and singing for others. It was for this that he could tell that perhaps they would consider it, though as he had noticed and as they had pointed out – supplies were limited. He wondered if he was to be allowed, if he’d have to use his own supplies. He thought about the gather and that Vanisha had told him about, and had started listening (rather than tuning out) the conversations around him. It would be an opportunity to purchase supplies with his meager mark – for his own purposes and possibly for the work in the Weyr. It would be a strain on his pockets, but he had no other use for his marks, as meager as they were, his purpose was for the Weyr and the people within… and for the dragons, though he wasn’t sure what he could do there, especially if he struggled so with going outside.

His own name pulled him out of his reverie just as he thought about going outside – because that was just his plans with the red-head. He looked up at her, leaning back and rolling his shoulders from sitting at attention for so long.

“Vanisha.” He greeted with a nod accompanied by one of his small smiles, placing his tools down and pushing his chair back with a scraping noise. “It’s going well, thanks. Yes, I could use a break.” He stood up and pushed the chair into the desk and pulled his winter cloak from the back of the chair. He gave one last look at his work before ushering Vanisha politely out of the room, hardly noticing anyone else paying them attention.

He dared not think too early about their trip outside, so he focused his attention on the woman that accompanied him. She was wearing a lovely green dress that contrasted nicely with her hair, even in the dim lighting. Maybe he could focus on his intrigue of seeing her features in full daylight, seeing her hair color for what it truly was… it seemed like a weak distraction to the ache he was feeling inside, but distractions did not have to be grand to have a grand effect.

“Your dress is lovely, it compliments your hair.” He said, his words reflecting his thoughts as he glanced sideways at her. And though the thought of this lovely woman sacrificing herself to the dragon alter chaffed, he brought it up. “How have your candidate duties gone today?”

[kevna]

Vanisha - Candidate

Parlhion’s response was ready enough, and again he gave her one of those small smiles that failed to reach his eyes. “I am glad.” She gave in answer, her smile warm and genuine. She stepped back to give Parlhion more room to stand and ready himself, trying not to stare at him and finding herself needing to give nods of acknowledgement to those that were studying her-or rather them. Vanisha fought to control the embarrassment, they were probably only intrigued at the simple change of pace being introduced as she appeared. That was all.

She hardly missed the last look he threw at his work and wondered worriedly if Parlhion was again just being polite to accompany her to the beastcraft pens. Questioning him would be in bad form, and no matter her concern, proprietary was more acceptable then the opposite. She allowed herself to be ushered out, following his lead with ease. His compliment was not altogether surprising, though it lacked the lewdness and suggestive quality she had been meeting with lately, so she found herself warming to the praise. She looked at him briefly, giving him a smile, and then looking away, finding her disconcerted by the warmth he had caused. It reminded her too much of how she had often felt with Degranik, and she felt a pang of pain at the thought. It was still hard to forget him… She needed to focus on other things in order to distract herself.

“You are gracious, thank you Parlhion.” She murmured quietly, lacing her hands in front of her as she walked. His question was thoughtful, even if he had forgotten her mention of the day being her rest day. Maybe artists didn’t know rest days meant no lessons, and she didn’t find it particularly necessary to correct him, nor appropriate. She thought quickly how to answer, shaping it artfully, and unknowingly becoming more animated. “My lessons have been very engaging, especially this last seven-day. We have been having lectures on weyr history and reviewing ballads centered on the weyrs. There… Is a lot I didn’t know, and much to remember. I have had the opportunity to play my harp a little during the ballad lessons, though I admit, it is strange to mix my Hold life with my Weyr life. Though not unpleasant.” She smiled ironically, then remembering herself, schooled her features more pleasantly.

“And how is your art going? Are you working on any special pieces?” She asked softly, they were moving out of the weyr now and towards the beast pens now, and the bitter winter air seemed to seep into her bones all at once. She could even faintly see her breath. She glanced at her companion, now able to see him better, finding his height, dark hair, fair skin, and fathomless eyes even more striking and somewhat intimidating. Her breath caught faintly, and she glanced away to hide the reaction, hoping it had been a silent reaction, and only loud within the walls of her brain. If Faranth was with her, and it was aloud, mayhap he would think it be her reaction to the cold. 

[tovaana]

Parlhion;

He noticed the way she skirted around the ‘day’ and spoke about the week, only then remembering that the reason she could escape with him was it was her rest-day. Still, she didn’t remind him of that, simply and politely going on about how things were going in general with her candidate studies. It was also interesting the distinction she made between Hold and Weyr life – though Mavros was a combination of the two, like Mirran… though with gaining a Lord Holder soon, he supposed Mavros was changing that bit about itself… Perhaps it would mean more arts and supplies, unless all Weyrs outside of Mirran were like Mavros, which according to the numbers in each Weyr, seemed also unlikely.

Parlhion tried his best to pretend they weren’t headed outside, but he couldn’t help the moment of hesitation, allowing his companion to go out first. He squinted against the light, swallowing dryly at the faint beating of wings and dragon noises. Even though he had wanted to be in a Weyr to be of use, he didn’t want to be around dragons – he didn’t want to remember such painful memories. His frame was tense as they went outside and he made a pointed effort to look at the ground, glancing at Vanisha’s gown that moved with her walk as she asked her question. “I haven’t done much.” He admitted, his mouth dry, not noticing at all the way Vanisha’s breath had caught. “I’ve mostly done sketching, and some ornate details on more special copies of certain works that I’m asked to work on.” He forced his eyes up to her face, remembering that he planned to do his next larger portrait of her – but he was sure he didn’t have the right colors, though he could always mix, there were some colors that were simply impossible to get the right vivid hue without certain powders. His dark gaze appreciated the reds in her hair and flushed chilled cheeks – more freckles visible in the daylight. He blinked, feeling an excitement and passion that he'd been lacking of late, a desire to immortalize her on canvas. It’d been a long moment before he realized she might think him staring stupidly. “Your portrait will be my next larger piece, but I’d like to replenish a few powders before doing so… at the gather coming up. I’ll see you there, won’t I?” As much as he’d enjoy going through the shops, he wasn’t sure he was ready for such a lively venture – he didn’t feel like he deserved it.

He had relaxed in those moments when he was only thinking about her and art, but he hoped they could reach the stables soon, because even though he felt sick despite the fresh air, he felt like the dragons were watching him – and knew his thoughts and deeds… his past.

[kevna]

Vanisha - Candidate

She wondered what kind of artistic details he placed on the music sheets he worked on. Maybe he would show her? She also couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t done much else. If art was his passion… Of course, he seemed like a dutiful person, perhaps he simply was too busy? Too busy for his passion? She quelled the growing desire to ask him why, instead going with a simple, “It’s wonderful you are able to incorporate your art with your current work. I do hope you are finding it enjoyable?” She murmured softly.

Vanisha cast a glance towards her companion, noticing the way his gaze rove over her. It caused her cheeks to redden in a deeper shade, and she hoped the cold would explain the coloring. She looked away just as quickly as she had looked at him. No matter how… thoroughly he had looked at her, it still lacked the carnality that most men’s gazes held as they studied her. She was sure. She wasn’t just being lenient she was sure. Mostly sure.

His next words seemed to solidify her surety as he spoke of the portrait of her being his next larger project. He had been studying her in the light as an artist looks at anything or anyone. For some reason she was slightly disappointed, though she brushed the feeling off as silly. Parlhion was a gentleman, focused on his work. Just as she needed to remained focused on her own work as a candidate. If anything, being a candidate had helped her in the process of healing from… Degranik. The last thing she needed was to get her feelings all mixed up again. She started nodding at Parlhion’s question, smiling softly, even though the question had brough up other difficulties, like Asirikai. “Yes, I hope so. I’ll be attending the announcement of the new Lord Holder of Mavros, as one of Asirikai’s supporters. But I’m hoping I’ll be able to get to the rest of the gather, afterward. I do so look forward to the excitement.” Would it be inappropriate to ask him to show her quality powders? No, it shouldn’t be. If anything, it was showing him an interest in his work, his art. “If it wouldn’t be an inconvenience, would you be able to show me some quality powders at the gather? It would be refreshing to see the products from an actual artist’s perspective.” She refrained from biting her lip, smoothing out her skirts instead, as a way to hide her nerves.

They were getting close to the stables now, walking with a man with a larger stride did that. She could smell the milchbeasts. She turned slightly to lead them towards the runner beast pens.

“Here we are.” She said with a bright, excited smile, gently waving her hands towards the pens that were coming into sight. It always brought her such joy, seeing the creatures. How she missed her own beast. “Perhaps we can introduce you to Master Alnerat if we run into him. I’m sure he could help set you up with an instructor.” She offered with an encouraging smile, though her tone was slightly questioning. Had he accepted that she couldn’t teach him?

[tovaana]

Parlhion;

It was nice that he could incorporate art into his service to the Weyr, but… no, service was the only thing that was important. He simply hummed a noncommittal answer that could be interpreted as an affirmative answer. Parlhion wanted to enjoy life, he wanted to feel life, but he didn’t deserve that, and he was sure it wasn’t possible with the black hole in his heart.

He did notice the flush in her cheeks and there was a young voice in the back of his mind that teased her, or went to brush her back with his hand to try and elicit the response again – the color in her cheeks was lovely. But the idea of making her uncomfortable...and the shadow of the 'old him'… it was like ashes in the back of his mind, ashes gathering dust and dying more as each day passed.

Asirikai. The name sounded familiar, he was one of the favored to win, wasn’t he? He glanced at the holder (now candidate) and wondered why she bothered putting her support anywhere… The Hold would be separate to the Weyr, unless her connections were still being used as pull? It was somewhat disturbing in Parlhion’s mind, but at the same time, maybe Vanisha would change her mind about candidacy, as he hoped she would. Being a dragon rider was dangerous, to dragon, rider… mind… it was a serious commitment, and he did respect any human who wanted to be a rider, but he felt like the risks were paled under the “glory” that was pressed on the population of Pern.

Parlhion wasn’t excited about the ‘excitement’ of the gather, but the idea of seeing art and art supplies was his motivation at the moment. Though, the idea having an acquaintance (friend?) like Vanisha at the gather too also made the idea of the gather more bearable. He blinked, realizing that she’d turned the conversation back to his art – and an opportunity for him. He looked at her, getting distracted by her freckles for a breath, and then shook his head – whether to focus or emphasize his next words. “Not an inconvenience at all.” He assured her, the hint of a smile at the corner of his lips, thinking it would be a pleasure to have company with Vanisha’s soothing nature in the… ‘excitement’ of the gather. “I’d like that… to point out the kinds of powders there are. I could show you the different art styles too.” He had a momentary flash of other gathers where he had asked various different girls (usually green riders) to gathers, holding hands, stealing kisses… He swallowed, this was different. Vanisha, for one, was different, and his situation… and looking back at his life with his new perspective seemed so shallow, something Vanisha didn’t deserve.

He hadn’t looked away from Vanisha as they entered the stables – so it took him a moment to realize why his body relaxed as the pounding of wings in the air turned into sounds of herdbeasts and other creatures they kept nearby. The smell was different too, not completely unpleasant, but definitely strong and different than dragon smells. It was… nice. But because his eyes hadn’t left her, he witnessed the joy that entered her countenance. Her joy triggered a half smile of his own as he tore his gaze from her and looked around to survey their surroundings, his sharp gaze taking in tiny details… the run of the grain of wood, the way hay scattered the floor, the various colors of runnerbeast hides… He was getting lost in the new surrounding that her comment took him off guard, glancing at her thoughtfully. “Uh, no, it’s alright.” The idea of riding a runnerbeast had intrigued him, but mostly as an excuse to get to know Vanisha better. Since she was a dragon candidate, he felt like her friendship was ‘allowed’ in his mind, since in befriending her, he could help her if or when she impressed to a dragon. “It’s not important really…” He cleared his throat, not wanting to press that if he was going to learn, he wanted to do it with her. “Why don’t you show me around? Is there a runnerbeast you enjoy riding the most?”