Alone-ish [V'than/Muze]

[tovaana]

Weyrling V’than :: Brown Saruth

He kept his eyes on his work, skipping a little ahead so that N’yx would have work to do next to him, getting closer to his dragon’s chest. His brown eyes did glance over at her when she contrasted his brown’s size to a bronze’s size. “I suppose.” He said lightly, but his stomach had dropped nervously at the thought of Saruth being the size of a bronze. He grappled with the feeling, realizing it meant that Saruth could possible catch a gold… the Weyrwoman’s gold? The thought was rather horrific, but – Saruth had also not done much chasing, so perhaps he’d be fine in that regard. 

“That’s true.” He said in response to her about the Queen’s Wing. At first he’d been nervous about it, but as time passed he realized how he’d gotten to the point where he hoped the dragons above would miss a small clump so they could be eased more into Thread fighting…

Did he hope to lead a Wing? He glanced at her with a small shake of his head and wry smile. “Nah, I don’t think so. I mean… I’ll do my duty, if that’s what is wanted of me. Thanks though, for the vote of confidence.” He had gotten used to it during practice, so at least that sort of duty wasn’t as daunting as the idea of his brown catching the Weyrwoman’s gold. And then with the thought of colored dragons he glanced over at her blue dragon and realized what he’d been feeling earlier. He had no ill feelings toward any female blue rider – especially since Rachel had been the one to Search him… but… it was still different. He had imagined that perhaps if he found a relationship with a woman, it would be one who didn’t have a dragon, or least a dragon that his own dragon could catch.

He wasn’t entirely sure how to carry on the conversation, but he did want to keep it light and constant to avoid anything awkward. “What about you? Thoughts on making Second? It sounds like there have been green seconds, I imagine a blue could too, then.”

[kevna]

Ny'x - Blue Nimocith

She had always found V’than’s responses to be short, but respectful. He was a man of few words, not that she minded. She just enjoyed the attention others gave her. She liked being able to talk and have someone to listen. She wondered if that was one of the reasons as to why quiet Saruth had picked V’than. They had a likeness in many ways. Big, strong, handsome, quiet… So far, that’s all she had really picked out from the brownrider. He was usually so quiet it was hard to get to know him. She wondered if their normal interactions had been with her talking more about herself, and decided he probably didn’t mind it if that’s how it had been. She continued her work, catching the spots V’than left for her.

Ny’x wasn’t surprised when he negated a desire for leadership, though she didn’t really see him as someone to follow quietly, especially since he had done so well in their practice threadfalls; from what little she gleaned from him she could understand his desire to avoid too much attention. “You’re welcome.” She said warmly, feeling herself warm at his thanks. She was pleased when he turned the question back on her. Maybe he thought her leadership material? She looked back at Nimocith, who was now ignoring them and enjoying the sunshine.

“I don’t think Nimocith would appreciate any position that would put him at the forefront of attention. Plus, his endurance is about where a green dragon’s is right now, though I’m sure we’ll really start working on that soon. I’m thinking we’ll end out sitting out some of threadfall due to that… I’ve never been one to take command anyway-unless in the infirmary, I can’t help it there sometimes.” She thought back to the tall dark woman, Ny’x thinking back to one of the other healers mentioning a Riasu working shifts, mainly in the dragon healing area. She had yet to bump into her and wondered what shifts the woman was working… “Unless it’s dragons, I don’t know enough about dragon anatomy. Not yet at least. I like to focus on humans. I guess since we may end up sitting out of some of threadfall I’ll help with the healers. But that’s fine with me, as long as I get to do something helpful.” She clamped her mouth shut, realizing she had let it get away from her. She shook her head at herself inwardly and looked at V’than.

She focused on the movements of her hands, trying to ignore the brief embarrassment that had overcome her. She must have made herself look a fool going on like that. "Have you had to work on endurance at all?"

[tovaana]

Weyrling V’than :: Brown Saruth

He glanced at her as she welcomed his thanks and felt a prick of alarm – but unsure how to tread carefully in situations like this. He liked N’yx, she was a good friend – she was friendly and talkative, and as beautiful as she was… he couldn’t help but think of Riasu and the mystery behind her coy smiles and friendly banter… and that desire to be close to her. He didn’t particularly feel that strong draw like he did with Riasu… so perhaps what he felt was Riasu was unique and important.

As she spoke he did get lost in thought a little, thinking about the differences between Riasu and N’yx. As she spoke about dragon anatomy, he realized that they were both healers, but Riasu had focused on dragons. It reminded him of Riasu’s reason for wanting to help – because she could empathize with the pain she could hear. He wondered what drove N’yx to the healing art, hardly realizing that she had gone on rambling.

“Well, humans need care sometimes during Threadfall too… I mean, hopefully not, but it does happen.” He tried not to think about that too much, he had meant to show that she did have a helpful role during Threadfall, even if she wasn’t actually fighting it.

He was trying not to get too lost in thought, he found when he did he slowed down – and he wanted to be done quickly. It was hard, he did enjoy talking with N’yx, even if he didn’t want to encourage her if she did like him. Maybe… maybe he had imagined it. He didn’t like to think or worry about it, so he went back to being comfortably ignorant as he answered her question. “Not really – I try to fly Saruth when possible, but more because I enjoy flying in general. It’s nice to fly and not have to worry about fighting Thread or formations or anything.”

And then they were done. He glanced at N’yx as she finished the last part he had left for her, offering to take the oiling tools. He had forgotten that she had requested and he had agreed to the dueling tips as he packed things away. “Thanks for your help, that made oiling Saruth down even faster than usual. I like to oil him frequently, since he’s larger – so it doesn’t take as long when he does need to be cleaned."

kevna

[kevna]

Ny'x - Blue Nimocith

Ny’x shuddered at the thought of threadfall wounds. She had had ample opportunity to treat thread wounded dragonriders since they had returned from timing back. She had been young when threadfall had started six turns ago, only sixteen turns herself, and walking the tables at the healer hall. There had been some doubters, but most of the healers heeded the harpers warnings. She had luckily been one of them, but it had still taken her by surprise. Not necessarily the thread itself, but the gore that had come with it. The deaths. “It does.” She said, feeling more subdued by the thoughts his words had brought. He had only meant to bolster her, and then that thought brought warmth to her belly. He had tried comforting her. He was so considerate.

She tilted her head to look up at him, considering the way V’than’s pace with the oiling slowed and quickened with his words, thinking that just maybe he was delaying so they had more time together. She matched his tempo swipe for swipe, relishing in the slower moments. Ny’x nodded and gave a wry grin at him. “I definitely prefer flying outside thread.” She considered asking him if he wanted to go flying together, but she still felt slightly afraid. Afraid of rejection.

Suddenly they were done, and she was giving him her rag back grinning at the his thanks but swallowing at the idea that they were done. When would they have such a pristine moment together? She wasn’t ready for it to be over. “No problem, it’s fun working together, makes time fly, don’t you think?”

She rubbed her hands on the pants she wore, she looked around. She jogged over and grabbed a few sticks, breaking one so it matched in length. They were shoddy dagger replacements, but they would do. She approached V’than again, and offered one of the sticks up, her eyebrow raising along with one corner of her lips. A flirtatious challenge.

“So, what do you say, ready to teach me something V’than?” She put herself in position, her heart rate starting to speed up. She gestured, offering him the first offense. With her size against someone his size she would often be on the defensive anyway. She wondered what it would be like to have the bulky brownrider pin her. 

I really think this is a bad idea. Can't we just go back to the weyr? I bet there is a book you haven't read yet. 

[tovaana]

Weyrling V’than :: Brown Saruth

A corner of his lips twitched at the idea of time ‘flying’ as if it were a dragon itself. What color dragon would time be? Probably a gold, or maybe even a green with how fast time seemed to go sometimes, or slow – or maybe… he blinked, what strange thoughts.

He had been busy putting things on Saruth when she came back with the sticks. His brown eyes looked from them to her and her raised eyebrow and smile. They were friends, just friends, she knew that, right? He continued to push down his worried thoughts, thinking they were silly things to worry about. Even if she did like him, it didn’t change how he felt about her as good friends. He did care about her, like he cared about the other classmates that had impressed back in time.

V’than took the stick with a couple fingers, drawing it into both hands and then into one, feeling it experimentally. He glanced then back up at her with a sheepish grin, “I’d rather teach you how to fish… or something I know more about...” But he shrugged and sighed slightly helplessly and took a couple steps back, thinking back to their lessons. At some point he did need to get to the docks. As a chore he had promised he would look over a boat that had come back from a storm, weather worn and in need of some repairs. He had volunteered to be part of the group that looked it over and helped figure out the best ways to fix it. Still, a few more moments helping Ny’x wouldn’t make him late, he had left plenty of time in the afternoon and she had made oiling Saruth a lot quicker, if anything he owed her a few minutes helping her as she had helped him.

So, he moved in, aiming low at her side – taking a few large strides and closing the distance quickly. His other arm tensed, read to raise or low it to shield his vital areas of where ever she may strike back.

kevna

[kevna]

Ny'x - Blue Nimocith

There was something about the way he smiled that just set her heart pounding, and she almost missed his diffident comment. She blinked, trying to compute what his words meant, and gave him a flirty smile in response as it finally dawned on her. “Well, you can teach me anything you want, this is just a good start.” She winked at him. Inwardly, she hoped that ‘fishing’ didn’t require a boat. Brendlin had taken her out on boats a few times and each time she had felt sick to her stomach.

When he launched at her, her stomach flipped; both at the delicious thrill of seeing him come at her, and also the slight fear that practicing her dueling made. She let out a laughing ‘eep’ as V’than closed on her and tried her best to block and redirect the jab at her side, though even with her best effort it still grazed her. Now they were in close quarters. “Shards, you’re tall.” She tried to remember her teaching when it came to larger opponents, and spun to try to get behind him jabbing at the side closest to her, and using her leg to try and trip the giant. It would be easier if she could bring him down to her level.

[tovaana]

Weyrling V’than :: Brown Saruth

V’than tried not to think too much about her flirtatious words, but it was getting harder to stay ignorant of the way she looked at him. At least he didn’t have to think about it too much as they started the duel. The side of his mouth twitched in a half smile at her comment about being tall, wondering why that mattered at all. It did make the duel more difficult for her, but the way she had said it hadn’t sounded disappointed in his height… She wasn’t a short woman, but she was still shorter than Riasu –

And the moment he thought of Riasu she was twisted around him, which made sense for someone smaller to dodge and move rather than stab him back right away. He twisted to follow and felt his leg catch on her leg – causing him to lose balance, but he saw the movement of her jabbing hand and tried grabbing the arm with his free left hand to redirect the blow as he regained his balance. Once steady on his feet, if he had been able to grab her properly, he twisted her arm as gently with force as he could to try and force her to turn and release her weapon – hoping to disarm her.

[kevna]

Ny'x - Blue Nimocith

She felt a bit of exultation when he turned as she had hoped he would and tripping on her leg. It only meant her stab was a little off, as was her balance. He caught her jab and steadied himself, steadying her in the process and then twisted her around and she felt the sharp pain in her arm prompting her to let go of the stick, which Ny’x did with an ‘oof.’ Shards, she had hoped to throw him off a little more, but

She waited till he let go of her and stepped away and then turned with a half-smile and a shrug. “See, I’m terrible at this. I’ve even had Zi’lor giving me extra lessons. He probably wouldn’t say it, but I’m hopeless.” She bent down and picked up her stick again, getting herself back in position. She considered her options-he was very large and it made just about every move for her more difficult. "Again?"

She only gave him a moment to respond. She attacked first this time, coming in for his left thigh, but it was a feint, and she hoped it would work. She pulled back and leaped closer instead, hoping to have gotten most of his weight on the left in order to reach down to deflect her blow. If she had succeeded, then she was closer to her goal. Instead, she took the remaining distance toward him, hooked her leg in his right and yanked, hoping to trip him into falling. She was taking Zi’lor’s advice and going for the legs, she just hoped he had been right. But her balance itself was also in jeopardy. She just hoped this was worth it.

[tovaana]

Weyrling V’than :: Brown Saruth

The stick fell before he could grab it from her, and he watched her pick it back up. He didn’t disagree with her, but he also didn’t think anyone was hopeless. “Well, if a mere fishing holder can become a dragon rider, I don’t think it’s hopeless for a healer to learn to spar.” He said with a half smile and simply nodded when she suggested they do another round.

She surprised him by the attack, not expecting her to jump into it so quickly. He had grown fond of disarming foe, especially when they came in close to him, moving and grabbing and twisting – especially when they were smaller. But when he leaned left and went to grab her, she didn’t follow through and dodged to the other side and hooked her leg under his other leg and pulled. It was the second surprise – and he found himself losing his balance. Instead of fighting it, he let himself fall, using training they had been taught to fall in a way that was less painful. Still, he was on his back, breathless.

“See… not so helpless…”

[kevna]

Ny'x - Blue Nimocith

She was shocked as his leg seemed to come up with her pull, and even more so when he seemed to tumble. She felt a little off balance, though from her manuever or from the fact that he was falling and she had been the one to do it, she was unsure. She’d have to try that one on Zi’lor again. She still felt off balance, maybe now it was because her heart was soaring… She couldn’t be sure, but his question got a quiet gleeful laugh and a shake of her head. She pounced, or fell, she couldn’t tell, right on top of the man she was falling hard for. She could feel Nimocith's concern, his warning, but she pushed it away. 

“You are so thick-headed. I am helpless… Against you.” She gave him a nervous smile, her heart hammering in her chest, and then before she could lose her nerve she leaned in quickly to press her lips solidly against his.

[tovaana]

Weyrling V’than :: Brown Saruth

He was starting to make his move to twist and get up – when suddenly she fell on him… or jumped? He felt stiff and frozen – his body warming at the close proximity of a woman. He gulped dryly, looking at her with creased brows – he was still in denial, but he could hardly deny that she was on him and looking at him as if – and his thoughts were cut off by her kiss.

Her cool lips pressed against his and he felt a hungry desire torch his instincts an felt himself tentatively kiss back, his body craving more, but his mind was trying to get past his shock and desire. A face flashed in his mind, a face that made him hungrier and want more. Open your eyes. His mind screamed and he did so, the face pressed into his was not Riasu’s dark countenance. With a sharp intake of breath he used his arms to hold N’yx at bay, breaking off the kiss as sharply as his breath. He blinked, his heart hammering from the adrenlyn and… guilt? Fear? He looked at her like a deer in headlights and was suddenly moving. He twisted and gingerly made sure she wouldn’t tumble at his movement as he moved out from under her.

V’than sat there, propped up with one arm, facing N’yx, but his eyes were looking at the sand. He was all sandy again, and it made him think of his first encounter with Riasu. He had wanted Riasu before their kiss had happened, this… he sighed quietly and looked up at N’yx with thoughtful pursed lips. “I uh, I think me and Saruth should be going…” And then he smiled and shook his head a little. N’yx had kissed him! He had spent so much time with her, he hadn’t… well, hadn’t he? Looking back, perhaps it shouldn’t have been so surprising. The shock and surprise of the moment came bubbling out of his mouth in laughter. After a moment he managed, “I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you, you just… took me by surprise.” He finally got up, brushing himself off and not bothering to find his sparring tool, still chuckling nervously a little to himself. Then he thought of Riasu again, glancing at N’yx, wondering if this would bother her… he did consider himself courting her, or wanting to court her… Did Riasu see it that way? From having a sister he knew women could be jealous creatures… not that Muze had ever been jealous, but he’d heard stories. How was he finding himself suddenly in one of those stories?

kevna

[kevna]

Ny’x – Blue Nimocith

It had been a while since she had kissed anyone, but it felt magnificent, especially when he responded. Her lips moved in sync with his and it felt right, like a volcano building up pressure, and then suddenly letting loose. The moment was blissfully perfect… until it wasn’t. She felt herself being pushed away, her lips torn away from his, and her eyes opened to see V’than’s wide eyed stare. He shifted under her, moving her off of him and at the same time moving farther away. A small sound of surprise escaped her throat, and she frowned, unable to read his expression.

He mentioned needing to leave, and her brows descended in confusion. “What’s wrong, V’than?” But then he was smiling and shaking his head, and her confusion grew. Hadn’t he felt the rightness? Didn’t he understand that they were meant to be? His laughter took her confusion and mutated it into anger and shame. “Are you laughing at me?” His apology that followed felt empty, and only seemed to deepen her shame. She followed his example and stood up, brushing off her clothes, her face hot with her feelings. “You-you kissed me back!” Her hands landed on her waist, and then as if rethinking it, she crossed her arms over her chest. “Didn’t you feel… anything?” Her voice wavered a little and she hated herself for it. She sharding felt something, how could he not?

[tovaana]

Weyrling V’than :: Brown Saruth

“You-you kissed me back!” V’than winced, his eyes squeezing and a hand going over his face as he turned to take a step toward Saruth. How he just wanted to… leave. She wasn’t wrong – it hadn’t been a seven day ago that he had kissed Riasu back too. Was it good or bad fortune that he’d had no female contact since Pearl, and suddenly he had two women suddenly interested in him? Well, not suddenly, and he wasn’t quite sure how interested Riasu was yet, and he didn’t even know what that was… but he knew at least knew that he wanted to see if his feelings with Riasu would go somewhere… enough so that he had stopped the kiss… well, that and he had been thinking about Riasu, not N’yx.

He swallowed dryly, turning back to face her, taking another retreating step backward toward Saruth. Her last question was a stab to his honor and pride – Ny’x deserved better than a very weak ‘maybe’. If he had to choose then, he chose Riasu, but… how did one just say that? Especially when he didn’t know what was going on with his insides.

V’than was quiet, looking down at his hands as he felt his back bump into Saruth.
“My feelings for you – they… you deserve better- more. And I, uh…” He fumbled, feelings out of sorts from going from cleaning Saruth, sparring with a friend – to kissing and talking about ‘feelings’. He hadn't even done that with Riasu yet. 

“There might be someone else, I don’t know yet… but it wouldn’t be fair to you, not for me to… you know.” His voice sort of faded, turning to get on Saruth, wincing again at the awkwardness of it all. Was there a better way to handle this sort of thing? He felt like a fish out of water. "I'm sorry, I really have no idea what I'm doing." He said in a sudden release of emotion in a quiet one syllable chuckle that was targeted at himself, his back to her. It was bad enough that he was new to the Weyr, this ground was all sorts of new - he hadn't realized how much he hated not feeling his usual confidence when he was doing something he knew well. He'd need to go see his boat soon, do something menial that would get his mind off all that he didn't know. 

[kevna]

Ny’x – Blue Nimocith

He was still backing away, and she felt tears rise to her eyes. How could this be happening? How could this feel as awful as it did? It was supposed to be magical. He had kissed her back; she had felt it. So, what had happened that this could be so royally messed up? Why had he kissed her back, and then the obvious follow up, why had he pulled away? All the questions in her head didn’t stop the spark of hope that initiated in her bosom when the next words came out of his mouth.

“My feelings for you – they… you deserve better- more. And I, uh…”

So he did have feelings for her! She blinked back the tears and took a couple more steps forward. “I don’t need better.” She just needed him, why couldn’t he see that? The warmth in her stomach turned into a queasy feeling that suddenly felt like her breakfast was going to come up. Did he just say there was someone else? Who the shards had swept in uninvited and taken him so suddenly? Her mind whirled and she caught her mouth hanging open, which she closed with an audible snap. He climbed onto Saruth’s back, and she felt her tears coming back.

Mine? The total concern in his voice helped her brain come down from it’s spiral, even as the tears fell onto her cheeks. “It-it’s fine.” Her voice shook as she said it both for V’than’s sake and Nimocith’s. She just wanted him to leave. To go far away. “Obviously, I don’t either.” She shrugged, and turned from him, moving towards her quiet blue. She was in need of his comfort. She needed him not to see the tears continuing to fall. Needed him not to see the question still in her eyes. Who had taken V’than from her?

[tovaana]

Weyrling V’than :: Brown Saruth

She did need better; her comment stung – because she hadn’t understood, until he told her that there had been someone else. And she said she was fine, or at least… it was fine… but it didn’t sound like it. It did sound like she’d want to be alone and he knew that he couldn’t comfort her, since he’d been the one to upset her. That was also experience he’d had with his sister. It hurt and her last trailing words had him sigh, watching her move toward her blue. How could such harmless moments with a friend turn into something like this? He’d hurt her, he hadn't even meant to.

He looked at a spot below his hands at his dragon’s riding gear- his fingers brushing the supple leather, as if there was some sort of answer in its texture. ‘You don’t any answers, do you buddy?’ He asked Saruth, his dragon glancing back at him, sending him a comforting feeling, but as unsure how to answer him as he was to fix what had happened.

V’than had already apologized, he’d already tried to explain himself, there wasn’t anything else he could do… maybe send Muze? She was a girl… but at the same time, his pride didn’t like the idea of his sister knowing what he’d done, even if he hadn’t really meant for it to happen. ‘Let’s go, Saruth.’ The brown hummed and lifted off, his feet skimming the ocean as he lifted from the small little spot that they probably wouldn’t return to for a long while, not if N’yx used the spot regularly. It hurt to think he’d have to avoid her, if only so she wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.

Guilt plagued him for many reasons. For the kiss – had he betrayed his feelings for Riasu? Or did it even matter? And for the pain that had been in Ny’x’s face and voice. Both he couldn’t get out of his head. ‘Maybe he could go on a flight before our lessons…’ He suggested to Saruth, thinking that he’d probably be seeing Ny’x and he wasn’t looking forward to that awkward encounter.