Room to Breathe (Kevna/Tak'ril)

[Alyx]

Joia

She needed to breathe. The Candidate barracks had seemingly closed in on her in the past few days; the lesson with the weyrlings had left her nerves raw and hurting. Everyone seemed to be talking about the baby dragons, Aleni and her little Gold for one. Joia couldn’t take it, it hurt too much. Even Nova’s normally chipper and hyper joy was almost suffocating, but she couldn’t bring herself to hate him for being happy. He didn’t know why it hurt her, he didn’t understand that she couldn’t be happy here, no matter how much he wanted her to be.

With no chores on the slate for her today and no lessons, Joia was free for the day to do as she liked. She’d stolen into the kitchen early to get food and a waterskin; but she filled the Skin with steaming, rich Klah instead. She dressed in her warmest clothing, including her new, thick boots, and collected the warm, fur-lined jacket she had finished only the week before. The best part of being a Weaver? You never had to wait for someone else to stitch your things.

She took her charcoals and sketchbook, fleeing the Candidates Rooms in favor of the cool, crisp winter air. It bit at her nose and cheeks, but to Joia the open air under the sky was far better than being trapped inside with the others. She didn’t share their eagerness for the next clutch, and it was becoming harder and harder to be around them. She found herself a spot near the Beast pens, where most of the snow was cleared away. She tossed the extra blanket she had brought onto the ground and then flopped down onto it.

Joia drew in a deep breath, the cold air burning her lungs a little, but she’d take it. It was freedom; crisp, clear, and unexpressive. The sooner she could get out of here and home, the sooner she could stop feeling like a waste of space or a half of person. For a few minutes, she wanted the herdbeasts mill about, then unpacked her book and charcoals, settling about sketching out the pattern for the new dress she had imagined.

kevna (Hope its an okay start. )

[kevna]

Tak'ril - Bronze Agureyth

The weyrling had bundled up as best as he could, but his jacket was wearing thin, and standing there watching the beasts did nothing to keep the wintry chill out of his bones. 

See what I mean?

He tried to keep the impatience out of his tone, but this was wearying. 

Yes. They are stupid. But.. Can't humans be stupid too? Tak'ril sighed, he was so tired. He really needed to practice his thought and emotion control from his dragon. "Yes, they can, but... I mean look at them! They are slave to their instincts, they don't have... Intelligence."

What is intelligence?

He closed his eyes, searching for the patience he had gained after years on the sea, waiting for the right fish hoard. Truly, he didn't have the best education. And teaching his bonded was difficult, making him wish he had not avoided his mother and her lessons whenever he was on land. "It is... the ability to think for oneself, to think critically, errr perceive life outside of food, sleep, and survive."

 His dragon continued to look at the beasts for a time, and then, finally he was convinced. So it's okay to kill herdbeasts, but not humans. His dragon started moving away, and Tak'ril felt relief flow through him. Teaching morals was hard. Had it been so hard for his mother? He doubted it.. He had been a good kid. They had traveled along the beast pens during this conversation until they had reached the far end, and he was glad to be on his way back to the Weyr. He was grateful the paths were cleared of snow, he really needed new winter clothes and boots. That was what he would do next. So then why did you kill someone? Tak'ril groaned inwardly as the moved along the different beast pens, and turned a corner to the last pen. Then he saw her.  

He fumbled to a stop and his dragon butted him from behind, unprepared for the sudden stop. He almost slipped, but caught himself. She was just a little ways off, and seemed lost in her own little world. There was something about her, a sweetness, but it was often clouded by an untold gloom. He wondered what her pretty face looked like with a smile, or a spark in her incandescent blue eyes. She set out a blanket and sat upon it, pulling out a sketch book. She drew? What are you doing, are you ignoring me?

His dragonet asked, curious of what had stopped his rider, and peered around him. Suddenly the bronze's green whirling eyes turned straight to blue, and he scurried around his rider. JOY! The silent exclamation rebounded in his brain at the sheer power and excitement, and Agureyth scuttled over to Joia, placing his face right in front of hers, an obvious sign of 'please scratch me'. The fact that he said her name wrong every time didn't seem to matter to the dragon, he remembered her, and liked her. It was a strange reaction, as his dragon didn't seem to care for any other human. It might have something to do with the way he every now and then pictured Joia, a random thought that came unheeded, but not... not unwanted?

Tak'ril used his long legs, walking with purpose to not lag behind too much, and almost slipped again. "Eh, hey Joia. Sorry 'bout that. Agureyth saw you and couldn't help himself..." Annoyed with his dragon, he gave him a look, which his bronze promptly ignored. His face was slightly flushed from the embarrassment, and hoped the cold wintry whether explained the look away. "Err, well, I hope you don't mind the interruption... Way out here..." What was she doing out here except to be alone? "Do you draw? Or, uh, or write?"

Maybe we should leave her be? 

Why in the world would she want to be alone?

That was a good question, and only one he could guess at.  

[Alyx]

Joia

She wanted the sleeves longer. And possibly the skirts split? Joia liked the split skirts; they fell in a way that made them look whole, but at the same time let the wearer move when needed. Joia frowned a little, the charcoal moving against the paper as she lightly sketched out the outline. Perhaps a V-neck? Dropping the collar down in the front would add to the flow of the garment. But then she’d have to make sure the shoulders were cut to keep themselves up, or the wearer could make the mistake of showing a bit more than grace and dance skill…

The sound of claws in the dirt pulled her attention from her work, her chin coming up quietly enough. The sound of anyone running at you would draw attention, but claws could be many bad things. It wasn’t too hard to find the source, the smaller frame of the young Bronze closing on her with his young, unbalanced lope. She could make out Tak'ril drifting along in the dragon’s wake, but then Agureyth’s massive head blocked her vision. “Well hello there, handsome.”

Setting the workbook aside, she made sure to wipe the charcoal from her fingers before reaching her hand toward the Bronze’s head. Fingers curled gently, unsure still if she wanted dragons this close to her, but she still gave into the request to scratch the stop along the young Bronze’s eye ridges. “I am pretty sure you have gotten bigger since I saw you last.” There was a little rush of sadness, that pang of self-hate and pity that Joia was becoming more and more accustomed to.

Joia managed a small smile for Tak'ril as he ambled up to join them. Joia couldn’t tell if he was uncomfortable around her, or simply uncomfortable his dragon continued to seek her out when the Bronze saw her. She continued to rub the bronze’s eye ridges, shifting her hand to reach the other as she shook her head. “I heard him coming.” Was it okay? Well, yes and no? She tried not to sigh, wondering how to answer the Bronze Weyrling’s queries.

“I guess it’s okay? I mean, I just needed to get out of the candidate barracks, and this is about as far as I can get from them and not leave the Weyr directly.” Not that she hadn’t been trying to leave, but still! She was more than happy the subject wasn’t exactly dwelled on, glancing at the sketch as Tak’ril mentioned it. Joia’s smiled brightened just a little. “Well, sort of draw? It’s more of a sketch really.” She shifted her seat over, making room on the blanket if the young man wanted to join her.

“I am, well... I was a Weaver before I was searched. It’s why I get assigned to the laundry as a chore I think. I can hem and stitch tears, but I still like to design more. I thought since I was going to be out here in the chill to clear my head, I’d work on a new pattern.” Dropping her hand, she rubbed it over the Bronze’s nose, the dropped it into her lap. “I want to have some patterns sketched out for, you know.” She gave a swallow. “If Candidacy doesn’t pan out.”
kevna

[kevna]

Tak'ril - Bronze Agureyth

Did you hear that, I'm handsome! Why don't you ever call me handsome?

His bronze was gushing, and it caused him to give him a lop-sided grin that showed off a slight dimple. I'll call you handsome more often. He promised his bonded, while Joia exclaimed over his size. Did he detect a shadow of sorrow pass over her at the compliment? I am much bigger, I get so big and iiiitchy, and it doesn't stop. Yes, right there pretty Joy. His bonded leaned into the scratches Joia gave him, pleasure coursing from the dragonet to Tak'ril. He clenched his jaw, trying the barrier they had discussed in training. He really needed to practice. 

It's Joia silly. You should just talk to her, I think she would like that. Try out your mind speak. He informed the dragonet a little distracted by the emotions that bronze flooded him with. His mate didn't bother to respond to that other than a mild curiosity, continuing to gaze at Joia with reverence and awe. Like she was an angel. Well she sure was beautiful like an angel. Yes, she is. 

Tak'ril almost missed her move over for him, but with his weak barrier in place he tried to focus on the brunette, and accepted the place she had made for him. "Thank you." He murmured as he sat quite close to her, and his cheeks burned warmer at her close proximity. What was wrong with him? Was he too close? Or would it appear rude if he moved away from her? He didn't want to move away. Suddenly Agureyth sent a thrill of joy to him that they were staying, bursting down the barrier, and overwhelming him for a split second as he sloppily built another one up. He gulped and turned his gaze, which he realized had been on her, quickly to the sketch book, while his bonded hunkered down by the young woman's legs and gently rested his head on the area of blanket, aiming to place his head within reach of her hands, so she could reach him for more scratches. Agureyth was like a canine. But the close proximity gave warmth off, delicious warmth from the bitter cold, so he left the little dragon be. 

Then he was distracted enough that his barrier was enough as he admired the dress that was neatly sketched out, and it produced an audible "wow" from him. He heard her slight catch as she almost called herself a weaver, and he looked back at her trying to read her true emotions in her sweet face as she continued speaking. He looked back at the sketch so not to stare, his mother had always said staring was rude. It was hard not to stare. He leaned closer to get a better look at the sketch, and marveled at the gown. It was... Amazing. But then she gulped and the last sentence hit him hard, and panic replaced the awe and curiosity. It replaced everything. 

"What?" He choked out. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HIM? But his dragon was reacting then too, whipping his head up and his eyes whirling yellow.

No, no Joia. You were chosen. A dragon will come for you. You cannot leave us. His dragon spoke to Joia, but by the last sentence the anxiety had turned into surety, a confidence that indeed a dragon would come for her. And Agureyth had calmed down enough to resume his previous position. Tak'ril was shocked and panicked. This was the first time his dragon had ever spoken to someone other than him and he had said us. But maybe she had missed that word? Tak'ril realized his mouth was open as he stared at his bondmate, and he snapped it shut.

"Agureyth.." He said slowly with shock, and then snapped his attention to the brunette, "Agureyth is right. A dragon found you worthy and if you leave you may leave a dragonet behind to go between, because her-or or his soulmate, you," He rushed out, "aren't there for them."

Then realizing how presumptuous he sounded, and turned his hazel eyes back to the sketch as he stuttered out, "Uh-unless you don't want to be a rider, which is your choice, and-and well that dress, it-it's perfect. My sister would wear it-er would have worn it." He felt a sudden sorrow rush over him, overwhelming his embarrassment, and tears pricked his eyes. He blinked quickly and looked away altogether, into his lap as he tried to hide his grief. 

"Err, do you want-why do you think-do you think you won't impress?" He was trying to push his grief down, but was having a hard time thinking. He felt a wave of love and comfort caress his mind as his dragon responded to his obvious distress, and his dragon inched closer to him, placing his equine head in his lap. Agureyth used his long fingers to scratch his beloved's eye ridges as he calmed himself as best he could, waiting tensely for her reply.  

Alyx

[Alyx]

Joia

Tak'ril admiration of her sketch brought a smile to her lips, the young weaver thrilled that someone else liked the design. “It’s only a concept at the moment; I still need to decide lines and colors, but I need a new project to keep my mind busy.” Weaving was something she could talk about; for hours sometimes if she had willing ears to listen. Nova listened, but she was pretty sure he only registered about a third of what she said; she didn’t blame him, but all the same? Maybe she needed more Weaver friends?

She would have preferred if the conversation hadn’t turned like it did though. Joia winced a little at Tak'ril’s exclamation, then the male voice that invaded her thoughts; Agureyth’s words were a shock, the first time she’d had another in her thoughts since the last Touching – unless you counted the voice in her thoughts she argued with? Joia pulled her legs up, wrapping her arms around them and burying her face gently against her knees. ‘I want to leave though. I don’t belong here.’ The thought was gentle, sad and wounded.

Tak’ril didn’t help, his words meant to be a comfort, but Joia found herself fighting not to cry. “You don’t understand, Tak’ril…” Her voice was muffled against her knees, the panic tightening her stomach in a knot. She could feel her own rushed breaths, her whole body shaking a little – and it wasn’t from the cold. She wanted to run; not from Tak’ril and his Dragon specifically but from the whole mess. The whole weyr, everyone in it… so that maybe, just maybe, she could feel normal again.

After a few deep breaths, she lifted her head a little; rolling her head, she rested her cheek on her knees and look at the young man beside her. She managed a slight smile, but it didn’t reach her stormy eyes. “You know not everyone Searched Impresses right?” She continued to watch him for a moment and then sighed. “That’s why when you are Searched, they say you have potential. It’s never a guaranteed thing; it’s all up to the dragons when they hatch.”

They don’t pick broken people. Or at least, Joia didn’t think they did? Rumors were still milling months after the Hatching about Aleni, fueled by her bluerider brother. Well… her brother? Or was it His brother? Joia still didn’t know how to even wrap her thoughts around that. Her eyes dropped to the sketch on the blanket for a moment, then unfocused a little.

“I just… don’t know if Dragons are really in my future, Tak’ril. I don’t know if I want to try again.. sometimes I just want to go home, forget I was ever here. I want to…” She paused, inhaling deep and blowing it out through her nose to try to calm herself. “I want to just be happy again. And I’m not sure I can do it here.” She blinked, her gaze moving from the sketch to the Bronze Weyrling sitting next to her. “Does that make sense?”

kevna I am sorry to have her drop that on him!

[kevna]

Tak'ril - Bronze Agureyth

Tak'ril was hearing her, but she was right, he didn't understand. He wanted too, but couldn't, because he had Impressed. He already had a life-mate, and Joia, well... She didn't. She was grieving at the loss of something she had hoped for. An idea she had loved and lost. He couldn't understand her, but he understood her grief. That much he did understand. 

His dragon lifted his face and turned to Joia, his eyes turning a yellowish gray and a small wail emitting from him. Tak'ril had never seen that color in his mate's vibrant new eyes, nor heard the sound, but there was grief and worry in in the emotions behind them, and it again surprised him... What was this? What were these feeling inside him and his dragon. He couldn't understand it. He felt connected to her. 

You do belong here, you belong with us. Do not leave, please. 

His dragon inched closer to Joia, rubbing his head gently along her side. Joia was hunched over, breathing quickly. Tak'ril realized quickly enough she was crying-or at least close to it. He froze, unsure of what to do... When his mother or sister had cried his father would hug them, and Tak'ril had learned quickly enough as a child to do the same. But he had never tried it on anyone else, boy or girl... He slowly lifted his hand, and followed Agureyth's lead, rubbing her back gently. He was sitting so close all he had to do was reach her opposite side and gently squeeze her to give her a somewhat close hug. But he couldn't do it. 

She rolled her head back towards him to give him a sad smile, and he gulped. His heart hurt. She had so much more than potential, he could see it in her glimmering hazel eyes. Those sad eyes.  “You know not everyone Searched Impresses right? That’s why when you are Searched, they say you have potential. It’s never a guaranteed thing; it’s all up to the dragons when they hatch.”  Her voice was filled with so much grief. His heart hurt.

She hurts like you hurt when you lost Tasy... Your memory of that pain feels like the pain she has... His dragon whispered in his mind, soft, and sad. Reflective of his own thoughts, he realized just how wise dragonets could be. 

“I just… don’t know if Dragons are really in my future, Tak’ril. I don’t know if I want to try again.. sometimes I just want to go home, forget I was ever here. I want to… I want to just be happy again. And I’m not sure I can do it here. Does that make sense?”

"I uh.. I don't know..." The response was lame, he knew it and- That was deadglow. You can't let her leave. And so did Agureyth apparently. 

"Yeah, actually, I-I think you are partially right, but Joia, most individuals don't impress the first time they stand on those stands... And-er-Agureyth is right too. You stood on those stands with us, and that makes you one of us." He met her gaze. "I think you should stay.." He scratched his head, realizing that that alone probably wouldn't convince her of anything... He took a deep breath. 

"Uh, My sister was murdered.. I did some stupid things after, and I can't-couldn't return. I had a hard time w-with my grief... I tried to forget her, because I thought it would make the pain less.. Painful. I convinced myself that it was the only way not to hurt... But the less I tried to think about her, the more it hurt. The more nightmares I had, the more knives stabbed my stomach, and-and the angrier I got."

He took a deep breath and looked away from her. He still grieved, but he knew happiness too... "Once I realized that forgetting her was getting me no where, I started with the good memories first, and then I thought about her all the time.. I'm not done grieving her, but I can say now that I can think about her and feel happy now." His hand was still on her back, and he removed it slowly, hoping it wasn't to weird... 

"Plus, you don't want to forget everything, uh, right? He squirmed a little. He didn't want her to forget everything. He hoped his words meant something, and they weren't too presumptuous. But he didn't want her to hurt, and he felt like she was hurting herself...

I don't want her to forget us. The bronze's head was resting on his leg closest to the young brunette. I know bud, I don't want that either.

Tak'ril looked back at her, trying to meet her eyes, afraid he had pushed too hard.

Alyx

[Alyx]

Joia

Even as Joia spoke, she didn’t actually expect Tak'ril to understand. It would have been nice if he had, but he had been Impressed and off the Sands before the end; he hadn’t been there, seen her standing on the Sand while the Riyobith had taken Aleni and abandoned her. He hadn’t been there to see the look on Aleni’s face when her brother had shouted from the stands… he hadn’t seen the look in the new goldrider’s eyes that hinted the accusations were true. All the eyes, the looks, the whispers… she’d wanted to leave then, right then, but she hadn’t been able too.

Tak’ril seemed to be trying to understand, but she knew it was a hard thing to wrap around. Agureyth’s voice invaded her thoughts again, bright and insistence and Joia tried not to wince away. The Bronze scooted closer, pushing his head against her side, and she gave him a sad smile, her hand coming up to rub along the underside of his jaw. ‘You are silly, you know that, handsome?’ Her fingers curled a little, tips rubbing along the curve of the Bronze throat and chin as she focused on the Weyrling Bronze. ‘I don’t know where I belong anymore. That’s the problem. I’m just tired, Agureyth.’

The hand touched her back; the brush of pressure through the heavy coat reminding her that Tak'ril was there. Joia looked over at him, her eyes still dark and damp around the edges. His eyes were dark too, something moving them behind them Joia wasn’t mentally in control enough to really read. When he spoke, she almost wanted to sigh at him. She knew that…it was one of S’bol’s favorite things to tell her. ‘Not everyone impresses their first time. Just give it a chance.’

She started to answer him, but Tak’ril kept talking. Her fingers continued to move along Agureyth’s jaw, slowing as her focus was more and more draw to the words and secrets his rider was spilling out to her. As she listened, Joia felt there were parts he was leaving out, but those parts were darker, things he wasn’t ready to tell anyone – let along a girl he’d only barely spoken with a handful of times. When he finished, she let the silence hang than for a moment, letting him shift the subject away from the pain.

Did she want to forget everything? Part of her instantly wanted to say yes. All of it, from the moment she’d set foot in Mavros; the lessons, the Touching, the Hatching… everything. But then… she didn’t want to forget Nova, right? Or Mizao? Karo? Maybe Aleni, she wasn’t sure about that one. She sighed, her hand pulling up over the Bronze’s jaw to rub over his eyes ridges. And smiled… just a little.

“Maybe not everything.” She shifted her body, bumping her shoulder a little against Tak’ril’s. The smile was there for a little bit, then slipped away as her hand dropped back into her lap. “I don’t know though. After the last time, the last thing I think I ever want to do is touch another egg or stand for another hatching. I have nightmares of being on the Sands, standing there, alone… people whispering…” Joia pulled in a deep breath, exhaling softly. “I can’t leave yet anyway. S’bol asked me to stay until Danovelith and Sularenth have their maiden clutches.” Joia looked at Agureyth, smiling softly. “If I don’t Impress in either, he said he’ll let me go home if that’s still what I want.”

She let the silence hang for a moment, knowing neither of the males sitting with her in the cold wanted to hear that, but it was the honest truth. If the Clutches came and went, maybe she’d impress… but maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe the pain would go away, maybe she’d quick fighting with the voice in her head and losing her mind? She felt him looking at her and turned to glance at him, meeting his eyes with a gaze that was more comfortably resigned to her current spot in life than anything else.

Joia didn’t know what made her move, but she did. Her hand shifted over the Bronze partway between then, her gloved fingers coming to rest over Tak’ril’s hand. “By the way, I’m sorry about your sister. I’ve never lost a sibling, so I can’t even imagine what that would feel like. I’m glad you can remember the good things though; sometimes that’s the only way to heal things.” She tightened her fingers around his hand for a moment, a gentle squeeze in hopes he understood she was trying to comfort him like he had been trying to do to her. “What was she like? I mean, if its not too much to ask you to talk about?”

kevna Getting Deeeeeeeep here And Joia is not a full HAD yet, so its your call whether you want Agureyth to hear what she is 'saying' to him

[kevna]

Tak'ril - Bronze Agureyth

Agureyth rumbled in his chest, pleased at Joia's first few words. He liked to be complimented, and he was indeed handsome. Whether because he didn't wish to, or his mind was closed to her next words, he didn't hear her last, sad words. So he just sat there, enjoying her ministrations, quietly and naively happy.

Tak'ril smiled tensely, trying to enjoy his dragonet's pleasure and happiness, but waiting for Joia's answer was hard... He gulped, and realized that pressure building in his chest was from him holding his breath. He let is go in relief when Joia relented not wanting to forget everything. His dragon's presence in his mind was sweet, Of course not mine, she doesn't want to forget us. She thinks I'm handsome. The small brunette bumped into him, and he relished the brief curve of her lips, returning the smile with one of his own.

"Well, eh, I'm glad to know I have another reason to appreciate S'bol." He said wryly, trying his hand at humor, but it sounded flat. "And next time you won't be alone, I promise. You will never be alone again, you have us... uh, and uh Nova, and-and other candidates of course too. But we will for sure be there."

He rushed out the last bit, of course he alone would not be enough for her, but he hoped it would still give her comfort. Just a little bit. There was a small pause in the conversation, and he sat there for a bit, contemplating all the feelings he was having. A glimmering memory was on the tip of his thoughts when a gloved hand suddenly covered his. All thoughts vanished as he zeroed in on the hand covering his.

“By the way, I’m sorry about your sister. I’ve never lost a sibling, so I can’t even imagine what that would feel like. I’m glad you can remember the good things though; sometimes that’s the only way to heal things. What was she like? I mean, if its not too much to ask you to talk about?”

He gulped, looking down at their hands... Could he talk about Tasy? He nodded slowly, yes, yes he could. If she could open up a little bit about what she was feeling, he could do so too. "Uh.. It's not too much." He kept his eyes on their hands, taking comfort in that tiny hand, as he framed Tasy in her mind. "Taselin was sweet, beautiful, adventurous, and... so happy. She loved to smile, laugh, gossip.. She always knew what to say, and she always told me I could be more, and do more than fish. She was enthralled by green agets, because they reminded her of a green dragon she had seen once when she was little. She would drag me out to hunt for them every chance she got and she would just talk and talk, make up stories, and paint so many pictures with her mind of dragons and adventures. Of freedom and plenty. Of flying..."

He paused for a moment, gulping back fresh tears that threatened to drop. "Tasy was the one that wanted to be a dragonrider, not me. It was her dream first." He looked up to meet Joia's eyes, grief shadowing him for a moment, and he felt Agureyth's presence curl through his mind, gentle and loving. He closed his eyes and a tear did escape, which he brushed away with his free hand.

I love her not just because you do, but because she led you to me.

He looked at his bonded, and gave him scratches with his free hand, unwilling to move the hand that Joia held onto. "She did... Tasy did lead me here, or at least her dream did. I am living her dream because she couldn't. She had so much spunk and love for life, she could have done anything and been more, if he-if life had just let her. Now I have to. I have to be more, love life, and do more, because she can't. I probably would have been happy on the seas my whole life and missed Agureyth if not for her. Do-do you believe in fate Joia?"

He felt lighter after saying it, and slightly silly. He could have refrained from asking that. He could have better explain Taselin, and he desperately wished he had the gift of speech to do her memory justice.

Show her, then. I can show her to Joia. Do you want me to show Joy our Tasy?

Uhh, can you do that?

Alyx

[Alyx]

Joia

Joia decided she liked Tak’ril better happy. Like Nova, she preferred the young Bronzerider not be affected so much by her bitter moods; he didn’t need her problems on top of his own. Picked as Agureyth’s rider, the boy next to her might one day lead a wing at the least, a weyr possibly as Weyrleader if his fate panned out that way. He’d have many, many more problems ahead of him besides the pathetic musings of a frightened girl. She shouldn’t have dropped this on him; she should have kept her thoughts to herself.

Still, Joia couldn’t help the little laugh when he said he should that S’bol… thanking the candidatemaster was not something on Joia’s thoughts, but she understood what Tak’ril meant. She didn’t miss the rushed addition of Nova and the others to the end of his comment, but she didn’t call him on it. It was sweet, and for a moment, it made Joia feel less like an outsider. She quickly reminded herself not to get used to it; she wasn’t staying, she sternly reminded herself. Just until the next hatching, then she was going home.

There had been an edge, a pain in Tak’ril’s voice when he agreed to talk to her about his sister like it wasn’t as willing as he made it sound? But for some reason, Joia felt he needed to talk about it. She wondered as he started if the young man had ever spoken to anyone about his lost sibling since she had been killed. Her hand tightened again on his, gently, and she pushed her own dusty dwellings into the back of her mind, focusing on her new friend as he described this stranger she would never meet to her.

She sounded beautiful. And kind. Joia could see why he missed her. She had wanted to be a rider; Tak’ril said it had been her dream first. Joia gripped gently down on his fingers again, attempting to be comforting. She could hear the tears in his voice. When he looked up at her, she could see them, right there on the edge of his eyes – threatening to escape either he wanted them to or not. “She sounds… like a wonderful person.” Joia’s voice was soft, the edge of a genuine smile on the weaver's lips. She almost said more, but he looked away and she didn’t push it.

Joia didn’t miss the slip-up, the ‘if he’. She almost wanted to ask, the curiously there, but did her want to know more important that putting Tak’ril through more pain reliving it to explain? In a thought, a breath, Joia knew the answer was no. She didn’t like him hurting; she hurt enough for all those around her and more in her mind. They didn’t need to feel that biting, bitter rage and angst if she could avoid it. When he asked her about her thoughts on fate, she took a moment to gather her scattered thoughts.

She looked from him to the young Bronze, then away at the sky, Joia drew in a deep breath and then blew it out in a heavy sigh over her chilled lips. “Yes and no?” She pulled her blue eyes away from the sky, looking back at Tak’ril. “I believe that there is something that guides us, yes. But I don’t think it’s something written in stone or inked on parchment; I think it’s more of a feeling, a pull that is supposed to lead you in a general direction, and it’s up to you to figure out what to do with the vague directions it’s trying to give you.”

Joia shifted her hand in his, running her thumb against the edge of his grip without thinking, her mind focused elsewhere. “You must miss her very much. I’m sorry I’ll never get to meet her, but I’d say by how you describe her, she’d be very proud of you.” Joia flashed an open, slightly sassy smile at him. “If not a little jealous of you too. But remember; you can’t spend your life living for her, okay? Remember to live for yourself too?”

kevna trying to move them to a little brighter patch. Sorry it took me forever to reply.

[kevna]

Tak'ril - Bronze Agureyth

He decided against showing Tasy to Joia, giving Agureyth a silent thanks, but no thanks. Dragons seemed to be a sore spot for Joia as it was, and he didn’t want to be the cause of more pain or sadness. There seemed to be a sad, yet peaceful aura around Joia as she looked at the sky, contemplating his question. Her neck’s curve was elegant, and her eyes could tell stories, he was sure of it. As he watched her, he felt his sadness soften. He felt peaceful. Tak’ril’s heart rate quickened when she turned her eyes back to him and he listened avidly to her thoughts on fate.

Not written in stone, but a general vague direction that pulled at you. He agreed to a point; yet believed this is where he had always meant to be. Here, where he stood on those hot sands and met the rainbow eyes of his Agureyth. Here where he had met her, this intelligent, beautiful, young woman. But he did not dare gainsay her. Most women were right anyway. Still, he felt a sudden desire to ask her where she thought fate would lead her next, if it was not to stay here. As if knowing where she would end up would lesson the sadness of her leaving.

He was distracted by her hands shifting, and he thought she would pull away, but instead her thumb stroked upward, and he was sure his heart would stop as he felt the chills that came in response to her touch. What was wrong with him? He barely knew her. Yet…

He tried his best to focus on her words. “I-I do miss her, and I’m pretty sure she would’ve been shocked and proud to see me here today.” He chuckled, trying to imagine his sister’s response when seeing him with a dragon. Or even holding a girl’s hand. Her bold smile awoke something in him, and he suddenly wanted to see more smiles like that. “You’re right, she would be very jealous, and I can’t live just for her. I’ll just have to live for us.”

He jerked his chin to his bronze, who looked to be ready for a nap, his lids half rimmed, and breaths deep. Tak’ril chuckled again, and looked back at Joia, realizing he had dominated most of the conversation. He couldn’t remember the last time he had talked so much. “Tasy would have like you.” Then as if realizing that could sound weird, he looked away and over at her book, “Er, so how did you get into weaving? Family trade, or passion?”

Alyx