Searching for Potential

[Hiko]

Is this wise? Daltilith asked quietly, as if afraid of the answer.
You have the ability, we need candidates. Should we wait for the twins to rise before we give you the opportunity to find acceptable lifemates? Mollin ran her hand through her hair, disgruntled at herself for the situation the blue pair now found themselves in. She couldn’t just go to K’ton about this; he’d laugh her back to the barracks, and use her as an example for her new class at the next lesson for good measure. Srunae or Karredy might be willing to listen, but Mollin didn’t feel comfortable trying to get either of them to sway A’zael for her. No, if she was going to try to argue her case, it needed to be her doing it, no one else.

Why was it she never came to A’zae’s weyr in good spirits? This was good news, and even now, her stomach was in knots. She hadn’t spoken with him since the resounding slap she’d given two feasts ago - and wouldn’t be at his doorstep now, were it not for fate’s ugly trick.

She took a deep breath in and knocked at the entrance.
“A’zael!” Another breath. Another heartbeat. Another twist of the knot in her gut. “We need to talk!”


Zen

[Zen]

A'zael :: Bronze Fath

Ilikeitwhenyoumaketheprettysounds, A'zaelmine.

A'zael looked up from his strumming and over at the bronze, watching him with happy whirling eyes. With a soft chuckle, he continued, Do you now?

Itmakesyouhappy. Itmakesmehappytoo.

He faltered briefly, striking a sour note, and trying not to be too overcome by his dragon's simple, all consuming love.

Thatwasn'tverypretty, mine.

With a burst of laughter, A'zael shook his head, “No, sorry. You distracted me.”

Sorrysorry.

Don't worry about it. He was about to start back up again when a knock at his door resounded through the weyr instead and Fath lifted his head to announce, a moment before he heard her familiar voice calling his name, Daltilith'sishere!

He was glad he hadn't started playing again or he was sure he would have made some very unpleasant sounds for Fath to complain about. Setting the gitar aside, he stood as she called that they needed to talk.

Pausing on his way to the door at those dreaded words, he wondered just what the shell he could have done now? He hadn't even seen her since the feast. Not that he hadn't tried to find her and apologize, but when it was clear she was avoiding him he just gave her the space she clearly wanted. It wasn't like he blamed her.

Blowing out his breath, he forced himself forward. Only one way to find out. Opening the door for her, he realized he really didn't have any idea what to say to her anymore. It seemed any time he opened his mouth around her, he said something stupid.

“Ah... come in, you ah... what do you need?” he gestured her inside awkwardly, not sure if he should try issuing that apology now or just let it go. Would it mean anything to her? He could never seem to do anything right when it came to Mollin. They should probably never be alone together ever again.

And yet, here they were.

Hiko

[Hiko]

As Mollin walked past the bronze rider and into his weyr, she felt the static of tension crackle in the air. Neither of them truly knew what to do with the other, anymore, and it seemed that every time they tried to smooth things over or reset the relationship, it only made things worse. Mollin didn’t know how to even begin to touch that, and for now, at least, it didn’t matter.

She turned in a whirl, facing A’zael, and feeling more confidence than she had in months. Her lips quirked in a playful grin, and instinct told her to make a joke or witty remark.
“What, no door service? Don’t tell me you have to make your own bed, too.”

The grin faltered and she pursed her lips. Mild humor didn’t sit well in her stomach, not here, not with him. It was too easy to remind herself that he’d found a suitable partner while she waffled in a hot and cold mental state. He had the Weyr,had Srunae, and she had her outbursts and solitude.
You also have me.
Daltilith’s gentle reminder returned the glint to the blue rider’s eye - he was, after all, the entire reason she’d come. She took in a breath.

“Daltilith is sensitive,” she said, matching her gaze to meet A’zael’s. “He sought out a girl in the creche who could hear him. We need candidates, and he can Search. We shouldn’t be lagging behind with first flights - we should be finding new blood for the Weyr!”

Zen

[Zen]

A'zael

A'zael followed her back into his weyr and shook his head, a soft laugh escaping from somewhere, “I make my bed... sometimes.”

She started with jokes. It seemed like she always did. It only reminded him of how easy things had once been between them and how he really had enjoyed her company when they'd first met, short lived as that relationship had been. Playful humor and flirting. They'd been of a like mind. And it made this tension and strain between them now just that much worse. He wished he knew how to fix it. Don't say inappropriate things to her when you're drunk, that'd be a good start.

He blinked in surprise as she continued, coming directly to the reason for her visit. He didn't know what he'd been expecting, but the fact that she wanted to Search had not crossed his mind. And yet that seemed far easier to deal with than anything he had been imagining. He frowned thoughtfully. The fact remained she still needed to finish her training, but.... Whose fault is that? He inwardly flinched. She would be Searching right now, if he hadn't been so irresponsible.

If this were any other Weyr, perhaps, he would tell her she needed to finish her training first. But desperation continued to lead them down unconventional paths, it seemed. “There are still lessons you need to attend that you haven't had yet... but there are certainly some you can skip.”

He took another moment to consider, “You need to practice Betweening first.” The Once Upon A Time weyrlings had just begun their lessons. The entire Weyr knew that, after the keening from the loss of Thiis and her brown only days ago. But A'zael couldn't see K'ton agreeing to let Mollin join them. For any other type of lesson it might not matter how he felt about it, but for Betweening? Mollin needed a willing teacher.

She was right that she was wasting her time, stuck with the younger dragons practicing their first flights. Daltilith could still use some conditioning, it wasn't like he had been flying a great deal while Mollin had been caring for Zaelin, but he was fully grown. He could take on more than the younger dragons could. There were other lessons the Champions class had that Mollin herself needed to attend, but if they could work around flight conditioning, and if it was something she really wanted to pursue, she could use some of her free time for it as well....

“I'm sure D'rew would be willing to teach you, if you're willing to give up some free time to learn.”

Hiko

[Hiko]

Mollin had expected a fight.
An argument.
Something.
But A’zael had only offered the need for an instructor. Her brow furrowed, the blue rider caught somewhere between surprise and confusion. He was just going to agree to it? She almost laughed.
“D’rew, you said? So,” she said, finding a seat as the realization of her impulse began to sink in. “So, this would be without K’ton’s knowledge. There’s no way he’d say yes - probably drop me off between and leave me there for my interest.”

She picked at her thumbnail, suddenly nervous. They’d just lost a weyrling, and if Daltilith wasn’t ready, or if she wasn’t mentally prepared enough, they could just as easily disappear and never return.
K’ton would be proven right. And the Weyr would mourn another silly girl who thought she was worth a dragon.
Mollin looked down to her hands, considering her next move. Elisia had just brought her family in. She had family here. What would happen if she just didn’t come out of between? Fleetingly, she considered S’fin and G’rett - how could she not, when they’d been such a strong support network?

This was, of course, an aspect of training she’d been chomping at the bit to get to, and with Daltilith at the age he was without that learning under them, they were a liability. She had to look past the what-ifs, had to focus on what was most important.
The Weyr needed candidates. And there were far too few dragons well-equipped for Search. Any dragon might catch on to someone particularly sensitive, but a proper Searchdragon might be the difference between dead hatchlings and living weyrlings.

She let out a breath and folded her hands into her lap.
“When could I start?”

Zen

[Zen]

A'zael

A'zael made a noise in the back of his throat at the mention of K'ton. He studied her for a moment, frowning at the thought that it certainly wouldn't make the lessons she attended with the man any easier for her if he knew. K'ton did not let anyone forget their mistakes, and if they were going to be doing something without his agreement, A'zael had no delusions he would let it go without giving Mollin a more difficult time.

“For now, at least. If you're going to start Searching, he'll know at some point. You'll need to be excused from lessons on occasion. But if you're going to start learning to Between you'll need to be able to focus on it without worrying about K'ton's pettiness.” And keeping it from him would only make it worse when he found out, but they'd cross that bridge when they came to it. If he had to ask D'rew to teach her privately until she'd completed her training then....

He considered that briefly, and decided it better to wait. It wasn't like D'rew didn't also have duties as assistant weyrlingmaster. If K'ton reacted poorly enough, maybe it was just time to think about replacing the old wher. Mentally, he scoffed at himself. That was an insult to whers.

When Mollin spoke again, he refocused on her, “I'll speak to D'rew today. If he's agreeable, the two of you can likely start tomorrow with visualizations. It will probably be slower going than if you were doing normal Betweening lessons, with both of you having to work around your schedules for it, but he can get you started on Search protocol as well.... Perhaps by the end of next month he'll be able to take you to one of the holds to see how you do, but I'll let him judge your progress and make that decision.”

Hiko

[Hiko]

Mollin looked up from her hands and glanced at A’zael, considering the change in him. A Turn ago, she doubted this conversation would have gone nearly as well. He’d changed, and the realization was disorienting. It felt as if he might actually be settling into his position, rather than just toying with it. It was almost a shame; she’d liked that playful nature, once.
Then again, they’d both changed, hadn’t they?
Outside of sheer acts of stupidity, he might have even changed for the better.

Had she? Could she say she was a better person now than when she’d first met him? She’d been so sure, so certain, that returning to training would fix her anger, her self-loathing, that sense of constantly being lost.
It hadn’t, and now she’d latched that same hope onto Searchriding. Was she doing the right thing? Was he, in letting her try, or was this simply his own guilt pushing them both toward another bad idea?

Mollin frowned. She knew she couldn’t keep thinking down that same path, if she and Daltilith were going to get anything done. She certainly couldn’t, if she wanted to really heal.
“Thank you, A’zael,” she replied, shaking her head, “You don’t have to do this for me, so thank you.” The words were crisp and fresh on her tongue, and she marveled at them. She'd surely not expected to ever thank him for anything, let alone do so in his quarters. She rose from her seat, suddenly feeling claustrophobic. This was becoming too much, everything was too surreal.
"I - I should go. Will you let me know what D'rew says?"

Zen

[Zen]

A'zael

“You don't need to thank me, Mollin.... It's about time I do something to help you...,” he shook his head, as if to deny something, “Anyway it's... it's not just for you.” He didn't want her to think this was something he was doing to humor her out of pity or guilt, but neither did he want her to think it was only desperation that drove his agreement. It was a bit of both. He did feel guilty, it was a common feeling in his interactions with her, but were they not so desperate for candidates he might not have considered it, regardless. The thought of Sularenth or... or Danovelith losing hatchlings at their first clutches was something he was determined to prevent by any means necessary. That and he really, honestly, wanted to help her, somehow, after failing her for so long now.

She rose to leave suddenly and he frowned, bit back a request for her to stay. It was probably better if she left, now her business was out of the way. As much as he wanted to fix things between them, he really had no idea how, and no desire to say something stupid to her again. Nor was he sure if she was ready to try. He thought about trying to apologize again. Would she want to hear it? Would it be better NOT to remind her and just let her move on from it? He didn't know. When had everything to do with the women in his life gotten so sharding complicated?

A sigh of resignation escaped him, “Of course. I'll... send him to find you, work your schedules out. Thank you for coming.” And he meant it. It couldn't have been easy for her, seeing as she'd been doing her best to avoid him until now, and if this worked out it would mean more candidates.

Hiko fin?