We Need to Get Out More [A'zael]

[Rhush]

10th Pass, 5th Turn, Late 11th Month

Srunae :: Gold Danovelith

Srunae looked up from her desk and rubbed her eyes with a groan. Faranth… She thought, casting her gaze to the ceiling of her shared weyr for a bit of relief from the faded texts before her. The goldweyrling had been studying for candlemarks now, rereading calculations sheets, tithe inventories, external holds candidate searches and political guides in preparation for her graduation exams. The beastcrafter was caught somewhere between elated and irritated at the thought of her and Danovelith’s upcoming graduation – on one hand, in less than a month she would no longer have to deal with weyrling lessons, goldweyrling lessons, and any number of additional classes her superiors could throw at her, but on the other hand she had to cram like a hungry flitter crammed his face full of food to ensure her final marks were high enough to be satisfactory in her eyes…

In other words, she wanted to graduate top of the class.

The downside to this lofty goal though was an overall lack of interaction with the human race. Rather, she dealt with her dragon, the occasional cook, and sometimes her roommate, if the other goldweyrling so deigned it a decent idea to speak with her. Not to mention a sharding difficult time focusing on anything farther than a few hands away. A rather unsatisfactory sound left the beastcrafter weyrling as she focused on the ceiling above her, trying to increase the definition of a particularly odd chunk of rock to no avail. She looked back down at the books, papers, pamphlets, and other piles of knowledge amassed around her side of the weyr and finally stood up, reaching herself into a massive stretch that captured her golden dragon’s attention.

Srunae? Are you done?

For now. I need a break – my back is stiff and my legs are asleep.

Your legs are… asleep?

They’re sort of numb. It’s a figure of speech Dano.

Oh, I see. That makes sense then. Srunae chuckled and shook her head, reaching down to touch her toes for a beat before straightening. She needed to get out of her weyr and walk around for a while, to enjoy the breeze on her face and find some good company before she turned into a complete and total hermit, never leaving her weyr except for food and bath--

You already are a total hermit, love.

Well… I’m changing that right now. Danovelith chuffed and wrapped her bonded’s mind in a warm blanket of sunshine, the amusement in her mindvoice palpable. Srunae rolled her eyes and padded over to her bed to retrieve her boots and a jacket, all the while pondering what she should do for lunch and who to invite. Most of her weyrling class were studying just as much as she was, so they were out; she didn’t want to interrupt their cram time if they weren’t ready. What about A’zael? Srunae paused as she pulled on a boot, pondering the merits of meeting the Weyrleader for lunch. She and Danovelith were about to graduate, so if the Weyr wanted to try and ream her favorite bronzer about spending time with a weyrling, they could go shove between. She was allowed to visit with him if she so desired! They hadn’t really spent much time together in public since the whole hotpool incident, which thankfully much of the Weyr had come to forget about. Come to think of it, when was the last time she saw the man? A fortnight ago? Two fortnights ago? She blinked as she stood up from her bed, cocking her head to one side – had it really been that long since she saw him? Wait… hadn’t she seen him around the Weyr?

I believe Fath’s has been mostly cloistered to his weyr. Srunae spun around and stared at the practically full grown pale gold as she rose, mantling her marbled wings. Fath mentioned it to me earlier; he’s starting to grow worried. That… that wasn’t good. Srunae shrugged into her flight jacket and dashed over to her dragon, her long brown hair left unfettered for the time being. I’d better bring him some lunch then – I probably won’t be able to get him out of his weyr… She thought, a decision reinforced by a wave of agreement from Danovelith. It had been a while since she had heard the Weyrleader had basically disappeared outside of required appearances - the last time she could think of was back when she was a new weyrling, more than a turn ago, when they had shared a meal together in the Dining Caverns. A'zael had been so stressed... perhaps another meal with him would have the same effect as it did before? He had seemed so much more energized after their encounter back then. She would have to bring him something good this time - something other than fish soup.

In less than half a candlemark, the pair were fluttering in for a landing on Fath’s ledge, Srunae balancing a large food-stuffed leather bag in her lap and a container full of klah at her hip as Danovelith announced their arrival to A'zael's silly bronze. Fath dear? We’re here to visit with You and Yours. The beastcrafter very carefully slid down her dragon’s body to the ground with her bags in hand, then hefted the pack over her shoulder as she peeked into A’zael’s weyproper before actually entering. "A’zael? I brought lunch?” She said curiously, a hint of amusement in her voice as she looked around his Weyr for the first time in nearly a month. Was he even home...? Maybe he was sleeping...

Zen

[Zen]

Weyrleader A'zael :: Bronze Fath

The stress had been piling up again. S'fin's visits helped, marginally, but his brother was not always able to come up with solutions to his worries, and solutions were the only thing that would truly lessen them. It helped to talk to someone, for sure, but it wasn't entirely enough.

Ever since the idea of Danovelith and Sularenth rising at the same time had struck him, he'd been unable to shake it. There was a sharding reason there was only one gold in a clutch, he quite understood that now. What could he do? How could he prevent it? Should he send one of them away when the twins were near their sexual maturity? Perhaps Mirran would house one of them for a short time? He grimaced at the thought of subjecting either of them to Mirran's... culture for very long, but.... Melana, probably. From what he knew of the girl, she would probably take to it better. It wasn't because he didn't want to send Srunae away or anything. It was the logical choice. Not biased. At all. He'd bring it up with Karredy. Maybe she already had a plan?

He sighed and sat back in his chair, running his hand over his face. A little more communication between himself and his Weyrwoman probably wouldn't hurt either, not that it was entirely anyone's fault. Her health was fragile after her... experience, and it kept taking dips that kept her unable to perform many of her duties, relegated to delegating most things between the Headwoman and Talera and, now that they were nearly graduated, Srunae and Melana.

He leaned forward, pulling his lists of the wings closer, and the list of the oldest weyrling class. Graduation was fast approaching, at least that was something positive. X'ar and B'rax had both started observing the class with an eye for which riders they might like to tap into their Wings, and he had as well. B'rax's first choice was T'yer, so he figured he'd give the man the brownrider if he wanted him so badly. Between himself and his other wingleaders, they'd decided most of the class already, but there were a few left that still needed an assignment, and that.... He made a displeased noise at the back of his throat. That would require a more indepth talk with the man who knew them all best. K'ton. He would have to go over the assignments with the man anyway, to see if he had any conflicting thoughts on the wingleaders' choices, and while he generally trusted the man's judgment, K'ton just hated him so much it was ridiculous. Even when he was being civil, it was impossible to please the man. He was clearly never going to forgive him for Mollin. He really liked to throw her in his face any chance he could.

Fath raised his head at the sound of wings at his ledge, and as Danovelith announced herself he pushed to his feet and padded out to greet her, his tail swishing behind him excitedly, HellohelloprettyshinyDanovelith! He nuzzled the gold affectionately. She let him do things like that, unlike Zalmaranth. Yes, he very much preferred Danovelith's company, she was far nicer to him. He let his rider know they were here a moment later, as Srunae made her way inside and called out, A'zaelmine, DanovelithandHersarehere! With that done, he returned his attention to his golden companion, settling himself to one side of the ledge so they could enjoy the sunlight together and he could appreciate just how prettyshiny she looked. HopeYourscanhelp. A'zaelmineworries. Alot. It was unpleasant, all the thoughts that whirled around in his rider's mind, full of negativity. Shealwaysmakeshimhappy. Likeyoualwaysmakemehappy. His tail swished some more.

He was about to reach for the latest injury report when Fath announced they had visitors. Srunae? He heard her voice a moment later, saying something about lunch. Faranth's sake, was it lunch time? He stood from his desk and walked out to meet her, and only now that his attention wasn't so focused on the tasks before him did he realize how hungry he was. He grinned when he saw her, teasing, “Only lunch? Not here to turn my office into a miniature hatching cavern again?” Was that the last time he'd seen her? Shells, that seemed... a while ago. He supposed it made sense though. She'd be busy preparing for graduation. He gestured over to the small table and pair of chairs pushed against one side of his weyr and led the way over, pulling her chair out for her, “Your acid spitter hasn't blinded you yet, apparently.” He wasn't going to let that go for a while. He couldn't believe she wanted to make a pet out of a creature that had such a... skill. Not to mention how thinking about it made him think of Treyjen and that just put a bad taste in his mouth. He tried to move on from it, wishing he hadn't even brought it up, "I appreciate you coming... I probably would have worked through lunch if you hadn't. So what did you bring me?"

[Rhush]

Srunae :: Gold Danovelith

Danovelith chuffed softly as Fath practically ran out to meet her on the ledge, enveloping the bronze's mind in a bright, sunny day at the shore, her voice a wave upon the gently rolling sea. Yours usually has a lot to worry about, doesn't he? The glittering gold agreed gently as she settled into the opposite side of ledge, quite pleased the bronze was so eager to share it with her. I think My Own has just the thing for him. The gold laid herself out on the stone beneath them, naturally positioning herself just right so the sun glinted off her hide in all the right ways. Danovelith had rather enjoyed the effects of perfect positioning as she had grown, and now that she was nearly a turn and a half old the gold had sunning beautifully down to a science. She nudged Fath affectionately after his flattery, her eyes whirling cool shades of blue and green. I'm sure Srunae will be able to make him happy again; and I'm glad that I can do the same for you. She smiled as dragons do, a bright point upon the waters of the ocean that was her mindvoice, warm and understanding with a hint of humor. You make me happy too. 

Srunae rolled her eyes at A'zael's needling and raised an eyebrow. "No, no hatching eggs today, unless you want to try and hatch something hardboiled," A mischevious grin quirked a corner of her mouth though, as he mentioned her new Seaspitter pet. "No, actually, he's quite the gentleman... but he is a bit possessive. You might have to watch out." It was no exaggeration that the bronze seemed to consider himself the big man on campus with everyone in her menagerie, ranging from Zeek to Fair and back around to Srunae herself and even Danovelith, as humorous as it was to watch him attempt to be protective of the far larger gold dragon. Interestingly enough, she hadn't seen nor heard of any incidents of the little flippered fellow spitting acid at all either, which she supposed was both a good thing and a bad thing. On the one hand, she probably wasn't making him upset in any way, but on the other hand, he might just be too young to produce acid yet; the book was lacking in specific information about the growth cycles of them, after all, so who knew for sure? It would've been cool to actually see him spit acid in her opinion though - then she could study it and write the Hall about it! The goldweyrling chuckled darkly and unhooked the container full of klah from her flight belt as A'zael asked what foodstuffs she had brought him, hefting it up above her shoulder for the far taller Bronzer to take it from her.

"Well, I've brought a lot of klah - I figured you might need it," She began, eyeing the seemingly worn out dark-haired man for a moment before he took the cylinder from her. She then swung the leather pack off of her back and opened it to reveal a veritable picnic's worth of food. "And I've got a couple of herdbeast and cheese sandwiches, some fish slices, a few tubers, some hardboiled eggs..." She wrapped an arm around the bottom of the dark leather pack and rummaged around inside it with her other hand, "And I also managed to snag a couple redfruits and a bubbly pie for us to split, in case you were interested in dessert after lunch." She barely resisted the desire to make an innuendo out of that comment, focusing instead on flashing A'zael a mischievous smile. He looked like he needed a break pretty badly - the stress was visible in nigh all parts of his face, but she took comfort in the pleasant, comfortable warmth rolling off of the naturally confident young man. He was, if nothing else, glad to see her, and that meant he was not stressing so much, even if it was only for a moment or two - that was enough for Srunae to feel like her visit was already a success. 

[Zen]

Weyrleader A'zael :: Bronze Fath

Fath let out a displeased puff of breath at Danovelith's words. A'zael did indeed have a lot to worry about, it seemed. Fath didn't understand a lot of it and had long since given up trying, but he was very aware of how it all affected his rider. Hedoes, hedoes, he agreed, turning his head to look back at A'zael briefly, come concern seeping into his tone, though when Danovelith continued, he brightened a bit. Whenever A'zael thought about Danovelith's rider, the bad thoughts went away for a while, even it was sometimes just a few moments. It was good she was here, that they both were. He turned his attention back to his companion, eyes whirling pleasant blues and greens as he enjoyed the way the sunlight set her hide to glittering. When she stated that he made her happy as well, his gaze snapped to her face and his tail flicked wildly behind him like an overexcited canine. Imakeyouhappytoo? It was clear in his tone how surprised he was by this admission. Fath was not be overly bothered by the negativity he generally received from his fellow dragons, it did little to stop him from interacting with any of them, but to be told he actually made another dragon happy (and not just any dragon, but his favorite dragon on all of Pern) was quite the new experience for him.

Srunae's new pet was possessive? Wonderful. Just what he needed, to have to worry about getting acid spat at him just because he was spending time with her. If he didn't know better he might have thought Treyjen had planned this somehow. He shook his head lightly, trying to shake such thoughts. Ugh, no matter how he tried they just kept coming back around. So when she answered his question about food he was happy to move on. Taking the container of klah from her, he didn't miss how she eyed him and ran his hand through his hair self consciously, waiting for her to make some sort of comment about how ragged he looked. It seemed to him that everyone enjoyed pretending to be a mirror and letting him know just what sort of state he appeared to be in.

She didn't, however, and he was grateful. He let out a soft laugh as he glanced at the container of klah, “Ah, klah, Mavros would be consumed by Thread without you. The unsung hero.” It was no joke how much he'd come to depend on the drink to help keep him going, and he was quite aware that a great many other riders took at least one cup in the morning before drills. There ought to be an Ode to Klah drawn up. He laughed again as she listed off the options from today's menu, “Wait, fish isn't the main course? What is this herdbeast you speak of?” While fish was still a common staple of the Mavros diet, things had been getting better by way of variety in the last turn. Thankfully. Ah, something good to focus on. What a rarity.

She ended on dessert and he grinned, agreeing as he eyed her, “Mmm, sounds delicious, I'm dying for some dessert.” Great Faranth, it was hard to keep his hands to himself when she smiled at him like that. Lunch, they were having lunch. He didn't even know where she stood on them, on their relationship, whatever it was. So much had been left hanging after she'd fainted, and then they'd both gotten busy, and more than that, he didn't want to make her faint again. He turned introspective for a moment, trying to gauge just what emotions he might be feeding her, to keep himself in check. All they needed to do was have a nice lunch. That was it. Right now... that was enough.

He gestured to the chair for her to sit, and took a seat himself, his worries melting away under the warmth of her smile. He looked over at her thoughtfully, his eyes tracing over the features of her face, searching, as he always did, to see just what color would show through in her eyes today. He sat back, shaking his head, “I don't know how you do it, Srunae... it's like I'm living in a storm cloud and then you show up, and there's sun again.” In the midst of all the raging dark in his thoughts, she brought him warmth, light, somehow... every time. It was so easy to let it all go, just for a little while, when he was with her. But he didn't want to talk about him. That would just lead back to more storm clouds, so to speak. “So, I imagine you've been studying hard, hm?” he smiled lightly, remembering all the books in her weyr. He couldn't imagine she would ever slack off on that aspect. “And you missed me so much you took a break to come see me?” His smile turned into another grin.

[Rhush]

Srunae :: Gold Danovelith

Danovelith hummed brightly and nodded, amusement clear in her mindvoice at Fath’s surprise. Of course Fath, she said warmly, Why wouldn’t you make me happy? She laughed and nudged his shoulder with her nose. Sometimes she couldn’t help but wonder if the simple bronze didn’t realize just how nice or understanding he was with her, or with Hers, or how he would go out of his way to make her feel comfortable or try to brighten up her day. She leaned against him and looked him in the eye, her pale golden scales set ablaze by the warm light cascading onto the ledge. Her eyes whirled shades of blue and green as she smiled at him, a ray of sunshine over a calm lake.

The goldweyrling chuckled and rolled her eyes before agreeing with A’zael – klah was definitely the unsung hero, but that didn’t make his joke any funnier. ”Oh yes, klah makes Mavros go ‘round.” And she was instantly glad that she had managed to grab something other than fish as the main course as he joked about their options for food. ”Ah yes, herdbeast - it is a delicacy that I am serving you as a token of goodwill Weyleader, though I am afraid fish remains a necessary supplement.” She put on her best attempt at a Lady Holder, though it was ruined by her quiet laughter part way through it. She had missed this back and forth banter in the past few sevendays, cooped up with her books as she had been. While Danovelith did do well to supply her with some bantering, the gold’s banter was far different than A’zael’s banter, and so she continued to miss it despite her best efforts.

Srunae laughed and raised an eyebrow at the man as he continued his food-based teasing, a flirty grin spreading across her lips. ”Oh really? Have you not had dessert in a while, A’zael?” She leaned closer and eyed him, a trace of hunger behind the laughter in her green-dominated gaze. ”I would’ve thought you of all people understood the necessity of treating yourself.” She chuckled darkly and tsked as if to scold him for ignoring himself before sweeping towards the chair he had indicated for her. Though A’zael sat down, Srunae only put a knee into the chair instead of sitting, raising one leg off the ground and otherwise remaining standing as she set the pack full of food onto the table. This way she could get the food out of the pack without worrying about squishing something or spilling something by putting it on its side. She started pulling food out of the pack one by one, splitting it between the two of them as she went. One sandwich for her, one sandwich for him, one tuber for her, one tuber for him…

The senior weyrling cast her green-hazel gaze at the bronzer in sudden surprise, however, as he took on a rather poetic tone. She blinked and a light blush crept onto her cheeks as she floundered under his gaze for a moment. ”I-I don’t know about that,” Srunae said, smiling sheepishly before she went back to pulling out foodstuffs with a quiet chuckle. ”I’m not made of sunshine, after all,” It was a weak recovery, but at least she had said something. She truthfully didn’t know what to say in this situation – instead of being his usual flirty, silly self, A’zael was referring to her as the sun that chased away his stormy clouds, a poetic comparison that typically meant… well… her heart leapt in her chest and she did her best not to focus on it. Though he had been sincere, Srunae was still unsure - did he realize the typical connotations behind saying things like that? Or was he just pointing out how easy it was to relax with her? Caught somewhere between flattered and embarrassed, she struggled to find something else to say, and then silently thanked Faranth as the man moved away from the subject. What was he saying...? Oh, he was asking about her latest endeavor – studying – and then he started needling her, her favorite A'zael characteristic grin gracing his face again. 

”Now hold on there, I never said anything about missing you,” She needled him right back, an amused smirk quirking up her lips. That was a better recovery, even if it was obviously a bold-faced lie; she had missed her favorite bronzer, quite a bit, but she had always been able to get past it. The simple understanding that she would be able to see him all she wanted in less than a month, and no one could say a sharding thing about it to stop her… that was all she needed to push through alone. Soon, so, so soon… ”I just happened to realize it had been a while since we had lunch together,” Srunae eyed him, her greening gaze pausing at his lips for a moment as she finished laying out their lunch, setting the bubbly pie off to the side. ”But yes, I have been studying a lot. K’ton willing, I’ll graduate top of the class.” She shot A’zael a knowing grin and chuckled darkly, bring privy to his previous interactions with the weyrlingmaster – it seemed only fitting to cast the man in the light of a vengeful being. She laughed and put the now empty leather pack onto the ground next to her and finally settled down into her chair, pretending to be completely oblivious to his gaze as she picked up her sandwich and unwrapped it.

[Zen]

Weyrleader A'zael :: Bronze Fath

She put on some sort of uptight voice and he did his best not to laugh right off, putting on a stern tone of his own, “A delicacy hm? You mean to tell me that meats other than fish exist in this world? How dare you lie to your Weyrleader.” And then he did laugh, unable to keep up the pretense any longer. This light-hearted back and forth... he really needed more of it in his life. More of her. He shook his head lightly, happy to recall that she would soon have a bit more free time on her hands, and then perhaps he would finally have more time with her. It was little more than a month away now... just one more month and he could....

The grin that spread across her lips, the look in her eyes, had him losing his train of thought. It took him a moment to register her words. He choked on a laugh and coughed a few times. Well, she had rather hit the nail on the head, as it was. It had been a while... and not just because he was holing himself up in his weyr for the last month either. He was too busy to invest too much effort into finding a bedpartner, and while women certainly had thrown themselves at him when he first became Weyrleader, a lot had changed since then. The considerable rumors, and facts, that floated around about him had made it quite a bit more difficult for him, and he just didn't have time for the chase, like he used to. But saying as much to Srunae was... well. He grinned instead, sitting back in his chair as she unloaded foodstuff onto the table, “Is that what you heard? All I was saying is that one can never have too much dessert.”

Fath blinked over at the gold as she assured him he did in fact make her happy, overflowing with affection for her. Idon'tknow. Idon'tmakedragonshappy. ButImakeyouhappy. I'mhappy. Happyyou'rehappy. She leaned against him and he shifted a bit, curling himself around her slightly, his words seeped in complete adoration, Sosohappy. Excitedly, he felt compelled to make sure his rider knew of this wonderful development. IMAKEHERHAPPYA'ZAELMINE!

A'zael flinched from the force of his dragon's words and was suddenly awash in the bronze's adoration for Danovelith, as a torrent of Fath's emotions flooded between their bond. Wha... what? He only half realized Srunae was saying something, his head ringing, mostly missing her sheepish response to his telling her just what she did for him. Something about sunshine? He tried to stem the flow of Fath's emotions so he could separate himself from them. More amused than anything, he glanced toward the two dragons, Fath, pal, I'm happy for you buddy, but you're making it real hard to focus.

SorryMine. Sorrysorry. The bronze pulled back and A'zael shook his head as if to clear the remnants, sending a wave of affection his dragon's way to make sure he knew he wasn't upset over it. He got one back before Fath returned his full attention to his companion, and A'zael did the same. Fath always left him open to his side of every conversation, which had been more than a little distracting for several months after he'd Impressed, but at this point he was used to it. It was just background noise mostly, like the sound of a waterfall, or the waves breaking down on the beach, so he generally didn't pay it much mind. Fath could keep it to himself if he asked, for a while, but he usually started slipping back into letting him hear after a little while, and the disjointed words that flitted into his mind were more distracting than the constant stream, to be honest.

Refocusing on Srunae, she seemed to be trying to deny that she had missed him at all. He smirked right back, “You didn't have to say anything. It was just that obvious.” He laughed, his retort all arrogance, though it was all for show. The thought that he still didn't really know how she felt about him, what... what they even were, flitted through his mind, but he pushed it away. They didn't need to have that talk right now, they both had enough on their plates. Which, speaking of. He took a bite of the sandwich she had set before him as she continued. It had been a while since they'd taken a meal together. He frowned thoughtfully, thinking that perhaps they should at least be able to do that on a more regular basis, no matter their schedules. They both still had to eat, after all.

Her mention of K'ton had him making a face as he set the sandwich down to pour them both some klah to go with their meal, “If you want anything to go well with K'ton, perhaps you should stay away from me until graduation.” He wouldn't put past the bitter old wherry to take out his dislike of him on anyone associated with him. Srunae might be a goldrider, but until her graduation she was still on some level at K'ton's mercy, of which the man had very little. He smirked again, his tone teasing, “Though I suppose you would miss me too much to stay away. I guess you'll just have to risk it.” He peered at her over his cup of klah, and after a moment decided to ask, because it occurred to him that they hadn't talked about it at all since she had initially told him, “How have you been doing with your ah... feeling feelings thing?” He wasn't sure what else to call it.

[Rhush]

Srunae :: Gold Danovelith

Srunae couldn't hide the chuckle that escaped her at the bronzer's 'stern' tone, and she smiled brightly as A'zael started laughing himself. The weyrling couldn't hardly keep a straight face and she loved it. Ah, how she had missed this back and forth, the relaxed, playful atmosphere, his fun, silly presence... The longer that A'zael had been Weyrleader, the more and more he had begun to act older than she was, and the less fun he became. Leading the Weyr was no easy task, certainly, but Srunae had noticed the job had more and more engulfed her favorite bronzer than remained a job - she vaguely worried he would lose himself in the position if things continued to go sour, but it was hard to think he might completely lose himself when he was still being himself here, for her. 

The weyrling chuckled darkly as the man choked on a laugh and coughed a few times in initial response to her needling. He recovered quickly enough though, leaning back in his chair with a grin. "I see..." The beastcrafter chuckled, rolling her eyes and shooting him a dark grin. "To me it sounded like you might be craving dessert," She took a bite of her sandwich, openly letting her eyes rove his chest and face for a moment. "Which makes me think you've been neglecting yourself." Which was bad... and rather unlike him, if his reputation said anything. If one avoided all the dark rumors and such that had started to roil around the man since his second stint as weyrleader, the rumors that were likely true came out - that he was a bit of a flirt (she could attest to that herself), that he was a bit of a womanizer (she knew he liked having a bedwarmer or two, though it did get him into big trouble at least once), and that he never had trouble with ladies after becoming Weyrleader (which was true of nearly every Weyrleader in the history of Pern - there were certainly those who liked to say they had slept with power). Maybe he was losing himself to the job more than she thought... or the new rumors had his prospective sex life on ice. That was plausible - it was part of why Srunae suddenly had more men throwing themselves at her than she could have ever met in her time at the weyr; she had to be easy, hadn't she? She slept with him, according to the rumors, and she was a goldrider to boot. Somewhere in the back of her mind was a bare hope of something else, something a bit happier and more interesting as a reason, but she pushed it away with a shrug.

Danovelith was momentarily thrown by the Bronze's overflowing affection, and she blinked in vague surprise at his answer. He doesn't make dragons happy? She imagined the handsome male's difficulty in conversation might have an affect on his ability to keep up small talk or something along those lines, but he was genunine and a very nice bronze to interact with... once you got past that problem. She instantly began wondering if other dragons didn't wait to see what was past that stream of small words and simple behaviors; they were missing out on so much by judging him by his cover. Danovelith hummed gently and chuffed, comfortably settling into his curling form. I'm glad you're happy too. She curled a wave of amusement and adoration into his mind much like she curled herself into his grasp. Did you see the sunrise this morning? She knew how much the bronze loved the sunrise, so it seemed like a good conversation starter to work into after that surprise.

Srunae stuck her tongue out at A'zael's retort and shot him an amused grin, glad for the subject change... though it seemed to have been caused by something Fath had done, going by the man's odd antics. "Heh, perhaps you're just projecting how you miss me onto my actions, hmm?" She really didn't know how to take him most of the time; his flirting could be little more than innocent, friendly fun, or his primal desire to get his latest challenge into bed. There were moments, though, where she wondered if maybe it was more than just a want of a friend or a bedwarmer for him; the hotpool, for example. What had he said before she passed out? That he needed her? Mmm... Her memory was fuzzy at best - most of what she could recall was just the intensity of his emotions, not the words that had been attached to those feelings. It was like watching a painting come to life with each word, a different color appearing upon the grey easel for each emotion...

Ooh, klah! Srunae gladly accepted a cup of the drink as A'zael offered it to her, glad for the distraction from the depths of her whirling thoughts. The weyrling listened to his explanation of K'ton with some modicum of amusement and shook her head. "I imagine he wouldn't try to flunk me because I interact with you. All of us have dealt with you at some point - You teach a class to the browns and bronzes about Leadership, after all." She chuckled and then made a face at him as he teased her about missing him. "Oh please," The weyrling began, meeting the Weyrleader's smirking with a dark grin. "It'd only be a few sevendays." She took another bite of her sandwich and downed a gulp of klah, shaking her head, and then blinked as the Bronzer brought up her feeling-feelings-skill. Swallowing, Srunae sighed and leaned on an elbow, staring at her sandwich as if it might have all the answers. How could she explain her challenges and successes with her empathic skills? She was still learning about her ability as much as anyone else might be.

"I... suppose I've been doing better." There, that was a vague enough answer for the overall. "I've realized it's easier to control it when I'm in a good mood; the walls stay up easily and I have to actively seek out other people's emotions." She looked away for a moment here, momentarily troubled as she continued. "When I'm not in a good mood, well..." She shrugged her free arm, sandwich acting as an impromptu palm before she finally looked back, the laughter in her eyes muted for moment. "It's magnified by my inability to shut out everyone else's moods." Maybe with time it would become second nature to leave up her walls, even when she wasn't in a fantastic headspace, like how she and Danovelith kept their bond closed when they didn't want to be bothered - such as when Srunae was studying or Danovelith was sleeping. "It's difficult to say, really..." She bit into her sandwich again and shrugged, chewing thoughtfully in silence. Well, at least A'zael's storm clouds had dissipated.

Zen

[Zen]

Weyrleader A'zael :: Bronze Fath

A'zael could only laugh again, “Srunae, I'm always craving dessert, it makes little difference just how long it's been between meals.” Her gaze roamed briefly and his grin widened, “Of course... if you think I'm being neglectful, I wouldn't deny you if you wished to... help me take better care of myself. Your efforts would certainly be appreciated.” He laughed lightly as he took another bite of his sandwich, losing himself briefly to his imagination, wondering at all the ways she could 'take care' of him. No, stop that. Just lunch. And he realized that was... what she was actually doing right now. With lunch. Preventing him from actually neglecting himself, taking care of him, making sure he actually ate. It was a simple gesture but... a meaningful one.

He studied her for a moment, absently tracing a finger over the rim of his cup of klah. His gaze settled on her lips briefly and he very distinctly remembered their first meal together, how she had pouted at him. He couldn't exactly remember why now, but he certainly recalled the intense desire to kiss her in that moment with perfect clarity. But she'd been rather newly Impressed... it had only been a couple months. It was shortly after he'd learned of Mollin's pregnancy. He'd still been so new to his position, still had so much to learn, so many doubts, so much uncertainty.... But he remembered how it had all washed away because of her. He had barely even known her back then... she was just the girl that had identified the weird creatures his brother had brought to Mavros, and subsequently taught a class on them.

Then she'd gone and Impressed one of the twin golds and suddenly the entire Weyr knew who she was. And as someone else who had been unexpectedly thrust into a position that granted him a dramatic increase in rank, he had felt comfortable with her, that rank did not separate them quite as far as it did most, even though she had only been a new weyrling at the time. He had barely known her, but still it had just been... so easy. He glanced down at his cup, picking it up to take a drink after a moment. Back at the hotpool, he had told her... he needed her. He wondered if she had even heard him, and if she had... if she remembered. It was strange to think back on now. He wasn't sure where the words had come from, or what the accompanying feelings had been, exactly. He just remembered their intensity. And, he supposed, it was the intensity that had driven Srunae to faint.

Fath gave a low, appreciative hum in return and laid his head down on the stone, eyes whirling contented blues and greens. Ididyesyes! He replied as she asked him about that day's sunrise. Didyouwatchtoo? Prettypretty. Alwaysthinkofyou. He hummed again, happily. Danovelith made him happy, Danovelith was pretty, and so pretty things made him think of Danovelith more and more, and in turn made him happier than they used to. He raised his head slightly as he remembered something, A'zaelmine saysIcangohuntingtomorrow. Willyoucome?

She broke him out of his thoughts with a laugh, but for some reason he didn't match her humor this time. Projecting...? Yeah, he was. He did miss her. He missed their easy friendship. He missed how their conversations flowed back and forth and made them both laugh. He missed how she still got shy, just for a moment, when he actually said something genuinely nice about her, humor aside. He missed how she made him feel like he was actually doing something right. He missed her kissable pout and the way her eyes changed colors. He closed his eyes, his thoughts and emotions both in a whirl, and tried to stop it all. He didn't want to overwhelm her again. Stop, stop, stop. What a weird thing to be thinking. Miss her? It wasn't as though she'd gone anywhere. She was still there, they were both just... busy. He shook his head slightly, realizing he was getting lost in his head again.

He took another bite of his food as Srunae continued to speak, refocusing on her to keep these weird thoughts at bay. He grimaced at the thought of his 'leadership lessons' that he was now required to give, but pushed past it to give a short laugh, “Attending required lessons is one thing... bringing me lunch in my private weyr is another.” There was amusement in his gaze as he looked over at her, and she made like a few sevendays without him was no big deal. He did not agree, but again he let it go, trying to quash those strange feelings welling up once more. He focused on her words again, as she explained her progress with her... ability. She was hesitant. There was still some struggle, not that he expected anything different. It wasn't as though she really had anyone to teach her how to control this thing, or anything to really go off of. All she could do was keep stumbling through, keep trying until things worked the way she wanted them to. He smiled over at her, encouraging, “I'm sure you'll figure it out in time. You're smart, and stronger than anyone I know. And I'm here for you... if you need me, through any of it.”

She'd been there for him, after all. Whether she realized it or not. That first meal together, it had been just the sort of thing he'd needed right then. And he'd never forget how she'd been the first one to ever tell him that he might actually be doing well, bumbling along as Weyrleader. It had been just what he'd needed to hear, from anyone, really. It was after that... that he'd started feeling a bit more confident about it all. Her support had come to mean a great deal to him. And when he was with her? He felt almost like his old self again. He loved how he felt when he was with her. There was no one else on Pern who could do for him what she did, of that he was certain. “Srunae...,” he trailed off, as he hadn't exactly meant to speak to begin with. He took another drink of klah, buying himself some time.

What are we? He wanted to ask her that, he'd never been so confused about a relationship in his life. But was now the right time to return to that conversation? She'd just said she seemed to do all right when she was in a good mood. Surely she was in a good mood now? But what if.... S'fin's words about 'what-ifs' came back to him and he frowned slightly into his cup. Gah, why did everything have to be so complicated all of a sudden? Things were always so easy between them, why was this any different? Maybe... if he took it a step at a time? He had... he had rather just blurted things out in a rush of those strange emotions he had yet to untangle back in the hotpool. If he tried to keep a little better control on his own emotions... maybe she'd be all right? Not that he had a lot of practice with such things, his emotional state tended to flow where it would unfettered. But he couldn't do that with Srunae. He didn't want to overwhelm her again.

So with a deep breath, he set his cup on the table and looked over at her, deciding just where to start and keeping a careful check on his own emotional state. Not too fast. Ease into it. “Srunae... I love being with you. When you're with me I... life just seems easier. You don't even try....” He was floundering. Maybe get to the point. “Ah, but... I.... I mean. I'm used to things being pretty clear in a relationship, and with us I... I'm not sure...?” He cleared his throat, feeling more than a little awkward, “What I'm trying to say, I guess... is what am I to you? Are we... just friends or...?” Just friends didn't usually kiss in hotpools as far as he knew, and it wasn't like she'd objected to it. He waved his hand as if to dismiss it all, hoping it wouldn't be too much for her, “Nevermind. It doesn't matter right now. Not if you... if you can't... it's fine.” Shards and shells, he couldn't take it back now, could he?

Rhush I ADDED MOAR LOOK AT HIM HE SO AWKS HAHAHAH

[Rhush]

Srunae :: Gold Danovelith

Srunae chuckled darkly and rolled her eyes at the bronzer before settling her green-dominated gaze back on his face. "You know as well as I do that bringing you dessert would look even worse than bringing you lunch…" She said, her lips forming into a feigned pout as if it wounded her deeply that he would ask her such a thing. A mischievous grin wiped away the pout and she took another bite of her own sandwich with a chuckle. He knew just as much as she did that they were better off waiting until after she had graduated. No matter how many months ago she was actually allowed to participate in such… extracurricular activities, for his reputation and hers they still would have to wait… at least, for anything much more intimate than a kiss or two. Her eyes settled on his lips for a moment before she forced them back up to his eyes, somewhere in the back of her mind wishing that she had graduated already.

Danovelith hummed in harmony with Fath as he started into his enjoyment of the sunrise, mentally preening at his compliment as she watched the makeshift bowl below them. I did see the sunrise, yes. It was lovely to think that we might be watching it together. She smiled as dragons do, then sighed contentedly. It was nice to just relax with her favorite bronze, talking about something as nonchalant as the weather… The pale gold turned whirling blue and green gaze to Fath as he asked about hunting, and she laughed warmly at the idea of the excitable bronze stalking some sort of prey. I would love to come, She said brightly, I’m curious as to how you hunt…

Srunae stuck her tongue out at the man as he poked holes in her idea of how K’ton couldn’t be that upset about her bringing him lunch. "Oh shards, I’m allowed to spend time with whomever I please, whether he likes it or not." And whether or not it affected her attempts to graduate top of the class. If he decided to mess with her standing just because she spent time with the Weyrleader (which was half of her job, as a junior weyrwoman) he could go shove between. Srunae found herself at a momentary loss, however, as A’zael’s encouraging words ran through her brain. She couldn’t hide the blush that followed them, so she instead frowned and stuffed what was left of her sandwich into her mouth to avoid having to respond. His smile made her want to kiss him, his words made her want to hug him, but her mind couldn’t come up with something appropriate to say. Sure, she could’ve just said thank you, but that didn’t feel like it would be enough, like it could even begin to encompass the gratitude she felt for his help with her… emotional insanity. She had thanked him before, but…

It was still so very, very fresh in her mind, the day that she had told him about her gift, how he hadn’t run off like she was nuts and had instead stayed there, comforting her, caring about her… The beastcrafter didn’t feel like any thanks she had said or could say now were enough. Perhaps that was part of the reason why she had brought him lunch, why she was trying to brighten his day – to try and show her thanks in a more meaningful way – the other part of the reason, well… that was harder to explain. She cared for him, deeply, but… what about him? Was she just a good friend to him, or a female friend he could get in bed? It was hard to tell whether he meant things the way they sounded or not – but then, at the hotpool… she had felt so much of just… all of him, everything in his words, his feelings. Even when she told him about her craziness, she had felt so much caring in him… But… she didn’t want to have her heart broken again. There was a reason she hadn’t really told him about her life prior to the weyr – because even though she would trust him with her life, she still didn’t know if she could trust him with her heart. Not yet.

Srunae paused in her thinking, still slowly chewing as her name trailed off the bronzer’s tongue. She swallowed her food and watched as A’zael took a drink of his klah, buying himself time in a similar way to how she had. The silence grew longer, and Srunae raised an eyebrow, owlishly leaning her head to one side and subconsciously reaching a tendril of thought out to the man. Discomfort and vague frustration rolled slowly across the invisible, one-sided connection, and Srunae frowned slightly - rather like A’zael did as he stared into his cup. Alright, so he was debating with himself, it felt like. The woman was about to break the weird silence herself when A’zael took a deep breath and finally looked at her instead of his cup.

As he spoke, Srunae remained aware of the man’s awkward internal struggle in the back of her mind – to her surprise, he was remaining fairly level emotionally despite his difficulty putting his thoughts to words. She blinked a few times, mind working a million miles a minute; she had expected to feel a pretty significant wave of frustration by now, even though he had been communicating pretty slowly. Was… was he trying to stay emotionally enigmatic on purpose? Sharditall, he didn’t need to—wait. Was he trying to avoid overwhelming her again? That... She blinked as A’zael finally got out what he seemed to be trying to say, something clicking into place in her head. He… he didn’t know what she wanted out of their relationship? Surely it had been obvious that she wanted more than just friendship…? The hotpool should’ve been more than enough-- It was her who didn’t know what he wanted out of their relationship! And then he started trying to dismiss his words as unimportant, and Srunae couldn't stop herself. She started to chuckle, then giggle, then outright laugh. A jolt of confusion with undertones of irritation washed into her – undoubtedly A’zael was lost – and she bit her tongue in surprise, which only made her laugh more, despite the sudden shock of pain. "Oh… oh Faranth…" She laughed, clearing her throat and trying to suppress the rest of her giggles. A’zael probably thought she was crazy, and that was okay. She didn’t blame him – she was kind of crazy. She could feel his emotions, after all.

"Shells A’zael…" She said breathlessly, shaking her head, "I should be asking you that!" She laughed again, a short bark of a sound, before smiling at him. "I can’t read your mind," Srunae said, shaking her head before looking back into his eyes. "And... I know your reputation. So it’s… it’s hard to gauge if you just want… friendship…" With benefits, she thought wryly to herself, "…Or something more." And Faranth, even after realizing she could feel his emotions it still didn’t help her any; it just made her more confused. She rubbed the back of her head and glanced down at the table for a moment, collecting her thoughts. "I… well… frankly, I… adore you, A’zael," She looked up at him from under long lashes, her eyes searching his for something, anything that might help her understand how he felt about her. "But… I… I just… I don’t… I don't want to get..." Her eyes dropped back down to the table.

I don’t want to get hurt again.

Zen Annnnnnd enter Nalyra! xD

[Zen]

A'zael :: Bronze Fath ; Nalyra

Fath's tail flipped a few times like a contented canine as he listened to the gold's reply. He thought a moment, Weshouldwatchtogethertomorrow. Thenhunt. It seemed quite the perfect plan to Fath, and sounded about like the best day ever. Maybe A'zael would oil him tomorrow too, then it would be perfect. He nearly asked his rider if he would do just that, but reaching out he felt all sorts of strange emotions whirling about A'zael's mind and after a moment withdrew. He would ask later. Huntingisfun! Liketochase. Fath was no stealth hunter, that was certain.

How it would look.... He was about beyond caring how things looked to people, and definitely sick of worrying about it. And there was that pout of hers. She really needed to stop doing that. Or keep doing it. Augh, he didn't know. And that was the heart of the problem. He didn't know where they stood with each other. He didn't know what she wanted from this exactly. It wasn't that he didn't know she was interested, he just didn't know exactly what she was interested in. What sort of relationship did she want with him? She was holdborn and that made him hesitant. He didn't want to lose her because he wasn't ready to commit to something more with her, if she wasn't comfortable with something more casual.

And then there were these feelings. They muddied everything up even more. The fact that he didn't want to lose her, for one thing. He reasoned that they'd developed quite a friendship, which wasn't something he generally did with women to be honest. Not that he was opposed to the idea but, it just never seemed to quite work out. There was Kes, of course, but between her Searching and spending time with R'zon, and his own busy schedule, it wasn't like he ever saw her anymore. And that was only because they'd grown up together. She was more like a sister, like Rau was his brother, and was one of the few girls that could claim to never even register on his sexual radar. Srunae was... different. They were friends, yes... he liked to think close friends... but it wasn't familial like with Kes and Rau. It was something else. Something more. Something... he'd never had before. Something he couldn't put a name to.

Which was what made it so hard to articulate. She had come to mean so much more to him than he ever imagined, and the thought of losing her honestly made him feel sick. He was no stranger to having women walk out of his life, but the thought of it had never bothered him like it did with Srunae. Now that she was in it, he couldn't imagine his life without her. Even when they didn't really see each other for sevendays because they were both too busy, he didn't have to worry, they'd come back around to each other eventually. It was rather a recurring theme for them. But if she wanted something he couldn't give her... would she leave? And then the wildest thought of all... could he... was she worth enough to him that he might actually consider it? It was all so sharding confusing.

And then she was... laughing? Well. That was. Just. Wonderful. Here he was trying to be serious with her and she was laughing at him. Great. His irritation faded off a bit as she finally got herself under control enough to speak. She was just as confused as he was. She named his reputation as a primary culprit for the confusion, and he rubbed the back of his neck uncertainly. That... that was what he was afraid of. He was getting the feeling she did indeed want something less casual, and that.... He wasn't sure how he felt about that. Shards. She wanted to know what he wanted. He didn't even know. He wanted her, of course, but.... She told him she adored him and that set a weird feeling into his chest. What the shell was that?

And then she was hesitating. She was holding something back, and more than anything he wanted to know what, when footsteps sounded on the stone and a familiar voice called, “Oh, A'zaaaeeelll~”

Wherryshit.

A'zael was on his feet almost instantly, sounding a bit like Fath as he spoke to Srunae, in his hurry to intercept the other woman before she got very far into his weyr, “Justamoment.” Shards and shells he needed to learn to lock his sharding door. Not that he was certain that would stop Nalyra. It certainly hadn't in the past.

But Nalyra came around the corner just as A'zael reached it, grinning at him, “Well, well, quicker to answer my call this time. You are learning.”

He grimaced, “Now's really not-”

“Oh... seems I've interrupted you...,” she peered over his shoulder, and was not entirely pleased with what she saw. Her gaze narrowed at Srunae and she strode past A'zael, a cruel smirk on her lips, “What's this? Was my brother not enough for you? Or perhaps he's grown bored of you already, I certainly wouldn't be surprised.”

“Nalyra-”

She threw a look over her shoulder, taking her usual tone with him, “Women are talking, A'zael.”

That, coupled with what she'd just said of Srunae and her brother finally sinking in, had A'zael rather stunned to silence. What was she talking about? They hadn't... it was just teasing, surely. It wasn't... Srunae and Treyjen were not.... Were they?

“You know I really wouldn't mind so much, but it's not as though I can move in on your territory, seeing as he's my brother and all. So why don't you just scurry on back to him. Show him a new trick, I'm sure he'll take you back,” her tone took on a note of mocking sympathy.

[Rhush]

Srunae :: Gold Danovelith

Fath's tail flipped a few times like a contented canine as he listened to the gold's reply. He thought a moment, Weshouldwatchtogethertomorrow. Thenhunt. It seemed quite the perfect plan to Fath, and sounded about like the best day ever. Maybe A'zael would oil him tomorrow too, then it would be perfect. He nearly asked his rider if he would do just that, but reaching out he felt all sorts of strange emotions whirling about A'zael's mind and after a moment withdrew. He would ask later. Huntingisfun! Liketochase. Fath was no stealth hunter, that was certain.

That sounds like a wonderful plan. Danovelith hummed, leaning into her bronze pillow as she thought about waking up early to watch the sunrise before hunting something tasty... though, as Fath mentioned chasing his prey, she did wonder if she might be sharing her kill with him. Chasing can be quite fun, I agree. I don't like the change in taste all too much though. The more her food ran, the less tasty the meat seemed to become; the gold wasn't sure why that might be, but she would probably ask Srunae about it later. Chances were that the beastcrafter knew why that was...

"I... I don't want to get h--" A sing-songy voice broke into her thoughts, and Srunae felt her heart sink as she looked back up again. A'zael shot up near instantly and hurriedly tossed out a sentence strung together in the same sort of way his dragon spoke. What? He was asking her to wait a moment? The bronzer practically bolted to the doorway in order to intercept... to intercept...

Nalyra.

The woman's attitude shone through in her comment as she took note of A'zael's hasty appearance, and then it quickly shifted as she noticed Srunae was already there. The weyrling's heart was all but in her throat as the female Pirate threw a particularly barbed comment at her, pretty much told A'zael to shut it, and then continued to rip into the goldrider. As Srunae saw the look on A'zael's face though, her heart simply shattered. He believed Nalyra, didn't he...? That she had slept with Treyjen? Her eyes filled with tears as she suddenly stood, her hands balling into fists. She felt betrayed that A'zael didn't come to her aid against this raging bitch - he had said he would be there for her, didn't he? Was that just a load of wherryshit? Or was it conditional, and only affected her issues with her empathy abilities? Shards and shells, the man couldn't even stand up to his bedwarmer on her behalf just as a friend! So... he was only good for assistance when it didn't put him in harm's way, then? Pain rippled through her chest and she felt like she was being torn apart from the inside... then the pain was replaced by anger; so, so much anger.

"Take your head out of your ass, you wherfaced whore. I haven't done shit with your brother," Hot tears streamed down her face unchecked as her rage boiled over, her hands shaking. She hated crying in front of other people, but she couldn't stop, and that only made her angrier. "I know what he wants from a woman, and I'm not like that." Srunae wasn't one to warm a man's bed for a night and then leave - she was holdbred, for crying out loud, it was still weird for her to deal with bathing in a communal setting, let alone the idea of casual sex. It was awkward enough for her to put up with the regular philandering of her new dragonriding kin - both during and outside of their dragon's mating flights - how could she possibly have had sex with a man she hardly knew anything about? 

"Ask A'zael. He still hasn't managed to get into my pants, and I love him." Srunae didn't even realize she had said it until it was out, and when she did, she didn't even flinch. It didn't matter, did it? It didn't matter if she loved him. He didn't feel that way about her, he just wanted a friend with benefits, like her. She took her gaze off of Nalyra and looked A'zael directly in the eye, "Shows me what an idiot I am, huh? I should've known better than to hope for something more from a sharding dragonrider." From you. She glared back at Nalyra, her tone nothing but acid. "You don't have to worry about your sharding territory. I want nothing to do with him." And with that she stormed out the door, shoving past Nalyra and A'zael out into the caves and slamming the door behind her. Free of their staring eyes, she staggered for a brief moment as the full force of what she had just done hit her. She had just told the man she loved him and then took it all back, hadn't she? She had ripped out her own heart, showed it to him, and then threw it away. Sharditall... It took everything she had not to fall to the floor and start sobbing right there as she bolted down the passageway to her own weyr. Her door slammed behind her and she collapsed into a distraught heap on her bed, ignoring Melana's dark look and Sularenth's sudden irritation as she buried herself under her furs and pillows, disappearing from sight and struggling to keep her pain in.

Danovelith untangled herself from Fath, quickly offering an apology to the bronze. I'll see you tomorrow morning, Fath, before she leaped off his ledge and winged to her own, intent on at least attempting to comfort her broken-hearted bonded. And here the pale gold had thought the man was always something that brightened Srunae Her Own's days... now he seemed to be the source of her nightmares.

Zen Well she ran away. I hope Azzy's happy. xD

[Zen]

A'zael, Nalyra

Well, she might be crying, but the goldrider did have some bite to her, didn't she? Wherfaced whore... how many times had she heard that one before? She was more amused than anything, though the whole crying thing was rather unpleasant. She was about to open her mouth to say something when the woman continued on about A'zael. Loved him?

That snapped A'zael out of his stupor. Wait. What did she just say? He stared at her, wide eyed, until she turned that angry, pain filled gaze to him and he flinched visibly at the words she spat at him. He'd seen that look before. No. No, no, no. No. He took a step toward her, “Srunae-”

I want nothing to do with him.

It was like a punch to the gut. He felt as if all the breath had left his body at those words. He tried to protest, to say something, anything, but nothing would come out. He shook his head. No. Nonono. She shoved past him and he reached out for her, but he felt... numb, clumsy. Faranth it hurt. Why...? And the door was slamming. He stared after her for a moment, took a step after her, but a hand on his arm caught him.

“Where are you going? Now she's gone-”

He tore himself from her grasp, “Get out.”

Nalyra raised an eyebrow at him, “Excuse me?”

“You heard me, Nalyra,” he growled, “Get. OUT.”

She studied him for a moment, trying to gauge just how far out of her reach he really was. She'd never seen him like this before. After a moment she shrugged, “Very well. I'll come back later-”

“Don't bother,” she looked genuinely surprised at that, but he didn't care, “Get out, and don't come back. Ever.”

Her gaze darkened, but she moved past him, back toward the door, only to throw a glance back at him, “Poor thing... she really did mean something to you, didn't she?”

He moved toward her, stiffly, barely holding back the anger coursing through him, but she didn't move away, and he all but hissed through gritted teeth, “More than you ever did. Now get out before I do something else I'll regret.” It took everything he had not to throw more than words at her.

She scowled at him, “Fine.” And without a backward glance she was gone, leaving his door wide open as she strode off down the hall. As soon as she was gone, his anger ebbed and the pain came rushing back, the reality of it. He had lost her.

He'd lost Srunae.

No, no, it was just a misunderstanding. It was a mistake. He could fix this. He had to fix this. He made his way out into the hall, down the familiar path to Srunae and Melana's weyr. He didn't care if the other goldpair was there or not. He couldn't let her go. He couldn't lose her.

He didn't even pause to knock, pushing open the door, about to step inside, “Srunae-”

HOW DARE YOU!? The roar that met him was deafening, both physically and mentally, and on instinct he stepped back and closed the door between himself and the angry gold Sularenth on the other side. His head was pounding and his ears were ringing. It took him a long moment to figure out just what he was supposed to do now.

This wasn't... this couldn't be happening.... Why did this hurt so much?

I love him, she'd said. And then, just like that, I want nothing to do with him.

He pressed his back up against the door, more confused than ever. His chest hurt, he felt like he was going to throw up, and his head was still ringing. If she would just talk to him.... He wasn't ready to give her up.

Why was she so mad at him anyway? It wasn't like he was the one that said all those things to her. If she'd just waited another moment she would seen him kick Nalyra out, out of his weyr and out of his life. And... he groaned in frustration and pushed forward, striding back toward his weyr. He'd just let her calm down... then they could talk. Then... things would be better again. Things would be okay. He had to believe it would be... it hurt too much otherwise.