A New Recruit [Treyjen/Yelanna/Nalyra]

[Zen]

Some time during the 2nd turn of the Pass.

Treyjen surveyed the men, and the few women, huddled together in a group on the deck of the Silent Song, his own crew ringed around them, many of them blood spattered and brandishing knives to remind their prisoners not to do anything stupid. Some of the men before him glared defiantly, but most of the group was rather subdued.

“You all have a choice to make,” Treyjen spoke at last, his voice carrying clearly in the relative quiet on deck, “We are always looking to expand our numbers, and so I extend the offer to you all to join us-”

“Join you? I'd sooner die!” one of the men spat, rather predictably. One of them always did, it never failed.

Treyjen sighed, “I really do not like to be interrupted, least of all by someone shouting the most unoriginal of cliches. Honestly could you not come up with something a bit more creative?” He raised an eyebrow at the man that had spoken, who now looked a bit taken aback, and more than a little confused. With a slight jerk of his head, Treyjen indicated the man, and Jusikar strode forward to pull him from the crowd to stand before him, “If you really think death to be such a better option, you are free to go.”

The man looked surprised for a moment, and Treyjen stood back, gesturing over to the side of the ship with a wide sweep of his arm, “Drowning isn't entirely a pleasant way to die, but I did say you had a choice to make.” The man paused at that, looking between the deck wall and Treyjen, “Go on, no one's stopping you. Or was your little cliched outburst all for show? I've found they most often are.”

“I...,” he took a step back, fear flashing over his face.

“Perhaps you'd like some assistance,” Treyjen waved his hand and Jusikar and Karosh took the man by either arm and dragged him to the deck wall.

“W-wait, I... no!”

Treyjen only rolled his eyes, not even turning to watch as he was thrown overboard, yelling unintelligibly on his way down until he hit the water with a splash. He could hear him shouting for help for a few more moments, and then silence. Well, it seemed he hadn't known how to swim, that always made things faster. A murmur or fear went through the little crowd, but Treyjen's voice drew back their attention, “Now then. You've just witnessed your second option.” He scratched his chin, looking thoughtful, “Choosing to take your chances with the sea doesn't guarantee death... just as choosing to join us does not guarantee life. But, well... your chance at life is quite a lot higher with us than the sea.”

Another man stepped forward, his mouth set in a grim line, his eyes hard, “I'll take my chances with the sea.”

Treyjen tsked, “Such a shame... I respect a man that knows what he wants and means what he says.” He stepped aside so the man could pass, watched him pause briefly at the deck well and leap over, splashing into the sea below.

No one else seemed eager to come forward or make a choice, so Treyjen continued, “Our way of life is no easier than any other, however, I can offer you a freedom you'll have a hard time finding elsewhere on Pern.” He gave the ladies in the group a particularly pointed stare where they all huddled at the very center, clinging to each other and the men around them. All but one. He raised an eyebrow curiously at her and she met his gaze. He found curiosity there, beneath the fear. He beckoned her to him and her eyes widened in surprise. The ladies around her stared at her, horrified, but after a moment's hesitation, she made her way through the group.

One of the men reached out to stop her, “My lady-”

“Let me go,” she commanded him, doing her best to put on a brave face, though she was clearly uncertain, still afraid... but still curious.

He shook his head, “We were sworn to protect you, my lady. I cannot just let you-”

“You can, and you shall,” she spoke sharply, though her voice faltered, betraying her fear even more. She cleared her throat, “They could kill us all at any moment. You are released from your duty, sir, for it is an impossible task.”

After a long moment, he released her, looking torn, and threw a suspicious and frustrated look at Treyjen. He only smirked back, but turned his attention back to the young woman now heading his way. He inclined his head slightly, “What is your name, my lady?”

She came to stop before him, staring down at her hands clasped tightly in front of her, managing to suppress the worst of her trembling, “Yelanna.”

He reached out to tilt her chin up so she would look at him, and to her credit she did not flinch away, “There we are... were you not taught to look someone in the eye when speaking to them?” He smirked again. It was something that had been drilled into him as a child, as a trader.

Yelanna flushed slightly, and her tone took on a note of sarcasm, but she looked him in the eye when she spoke, “Forgive me, sir, if I've forgotten my manners after being captured by murderous pirates.”

He laughed, “I like you, Yelanna. While your fellow females cower in fear, you alone stand on your own and make jokes in the face of murderous pirates. Tell me... why are you here, on this ship?”

A flash of anger passed over her face, “Why exactly does such a thing matter at all to you?”

He shrugged, inwardly surprised by her boldness, and pleased by it, but not showing it, “In the end it really doesn't, I suppose. You've simply caught my attention... and I'm a bit curious about you. And the more we talk, the longer these fine people here get to live and contemplate the choice before them.”

She glanced back at the group behind her, another murmur passing through them. She drew herself up, turning back to him, “If you must know, I am on my way to be married. Was, I suppose.”

Treyjen snorted derisively, “Married? And now I've come between two lovers, have I?”

Yelanna snorted right back, “Hardly. I've never met the man.”

He raised an eyebrow once more, “Is that so...? It was arranged then.”

“Yes, how very clever of you,” she spoke as if to a small child, which had him laughing again.

“I like you more and more, Yelanna.... Would you like to join us?” The murmuring behind her grew a bit louder, but Treyjen ignored them, “There is fire in you, my lady. Perhaps it is only an ember at the moment, but with us, you could cultivate it into a blaze to be feared and respected. With us, you shall make your own fate, and no one but you will dictate the course of your life.”

He saw the desire in her eyes, desire for the promise of the life he dangled in front of her. The man that had tried to stop her before called out, “Do not, my lady!” Yelanna did not even turn to look at him, staring up into Treyjen's roiling sea blue eyes.

She lifted her chin slightly, “What... would joining you entail, precisely?” Her gaze narrowed in suspicion, “I imagine your crew would expect me to warm their beds?”

He couldn't help but chuckle, “Of course not, my lady.” She raised an eyebow, clearly still suspicious, “You will be expected to work, to help maintain the ship, to help make meals for the crew, wherever your talents lie, that is where you will serve. Should you choose to warm anyone's bed, it will be entirely your choice, my lady. In my crew, your life, your body... are your own.”

She stared at him as though he had just spoken the most ridiculous and profound words all at once, “I... I would not... be... forced...?”

He leaned closer to her, so those behind her would not see how his expression softened in the slightest, lowering his voice, “If any man on my crew tries to force you into bed, you have only to tell me who, and I promise you I shall personally geld him.” He straightened, taking a quick look around, “Nalyra!”

Yelanna jumped slightly as he barked out the name, a young woman soon appearing at his side, “She coming with us or what? You've been talking to her forever, I'm getting bored.”

“Charming as ever. Yelanna, this is Nalyra, my sister,” he nodded to the dark haired girl, “Go with her and she will see you settled in aboard the Storm's Eye.”

Nalyra made a noise in the back of her throat, “So you're making me watch her? Thanks. Come on then.”

Yelanna found herself following the girl, glancing back at Treyjen, unsure, but... still so very curious. Nalyra led her over a sturdy plank, which the other girl crossed swiftly and with ease. Yelanna crossed much more slowly, arms out to steady her, swallowing her fear of plunging over one side and into the sea. She knew how to swim, she was from a coastal hold, after all, but still....

At last she was back on the deck of a ship, her legs trembling from fear and relief. Nalyra looked entirely unimpressed, “Wow, that only took an entire Interval. Hurry up, will you?”

“S-sorry...-”

“And for Faranth's sake don't apologize. I really can't stand stupid, quivering women that apologize for every little thing,” she growled, leading her down below deck.

“S-,” she cut herself off this time, shaking her head. And then it hit her just what Nalyra had said, and she bristled, “Excuse me, but I am NOT a stupid, quivering woman!”

Nalyra snorted and looked back at her, “Well, you're not quite as bad as most, I'll give you that.”

Silence fell between them as Nalyra led her down a short hall to one end of the ship, opening a door to a great open room where cots lined the walls and hammocks hung from the ceiling, “This is where you'll sleep. It's pretty first come, first served, isn't like there's assigned beds or anything. And before you ask, yes, the men all sleep in here with us, and they stink, and snore, so get used to it.” She eyed Yelanna, clearly waiting for her to protest or complain.

Instead, she looked around at the dim room, glow baskets dotting the area with pale light, “Did your brother mean what he said?” She fixed Nalyra with a serious stare, “When he told me he would geld any man that tried to force himself on me?”

Nalyra laughed, “He meant it. He's done it. Only the once, but all the others remember it real well. Tossed the man into the sea after as well. It's a real good deterrent. Not that you need to worry too much about the men on the crew. They're all... well... decent I suppose, for the most part. Just a few here and there that I'd rather avoid, but it's got little to do with me worrying about them forcing themselves on me. I'd geld them myself if they tried, and they all know it. Anyone ever gives you any trouble like that, let me know, I'll have fun with it.” Nalyra's amber eyes glinted in the dim light, and Yelanna found herself laughing despite herself, “... What? You think I'm joking?”

Yelanna shook her head, “No... no, not at all.... It's just... all so very strange.”

“What is? That murderous pirates can be decent people?” Nalyra raised an eyebrow at her, “We're just doing this to survive, you know. We trade too, but... our circumstances make it difficult to earn a living that way. Sea living is all we know. We don't have another option, not unless we want to give up our way of life completely and start over with nothing on land.”

Yelanna's curiosity was piqued again, “Your... circumstances?”

Nalyra made another displeased noise, “My brother and I, this crew, most of them... we stole this ship from my father. He's a pretty well known trader, so news of what we did spread around real fast. We can't go anywhere near any major ports, we only get to dock in the most out of the way, in the middle of nowhere, nothing little cotholds. Doesn't make for good business, but at least the places don't draw the attention of traders very often, so it makes them real happy to see us when we come around with goods they might never dream of seeing otherwise.”

“But... why... did you steal your father's ship?” Yelanna tilted her head slightly, more curious than ever.

“You ask a lot of sharding questions, my lady,” Nalyra growled, “You just got here. You don't get to know our life stories just yet. How about you just focus on asking questions about how you can make yourself useful here for now, hm? You good at anything?”

She was about to press, but she supposed the other woman had a point, so she let it go for now. Her brow furrowed thoughtfully, “Ah... I can sew? I know how to prepare a decent meal....”

“Food preparation it is then. And cleaning. Lots of cleaning. Everyone cleans at first, not a real difficult skill to learn,” Nalyra explained, “Come on, I'll show you 'round the ship. Treyjen's a lot nicer than he lets on when he's putting on a show for captives, so he likely won't put you to work until tomorrow. But I'm stuck with you all day anyway so I'll at least teach you some things about living on a ship so you're not completely helpless. You'll be seeing a lot of me for a while. We can't exactly just let new recruits wander around freely until we know we can trust them. But work hard, follow orders, and you'll become a real part of the crew in no time. And once you're part of the crew for real... you're family.” The look in Nalyra's eyes darkened slightly, and she drew closer to the other woman, “So know that if you try anything stupid, try to hurt my family, your death won't be so easy as jumping into the sea.”

Yelanna nearly laughed, for how could she ever possibly hope to hurt anyone Nalyra called family? These were all hardened pirates and she was just a holder girl. She would be completely brainless to even try. She managed not to, however, and nodded, “I swear to you, Nalyra, that I have no intention of trying to hurt anyone. I just... I only want to see this freedom your brother spoke of for myself.”

Nalyra grinned, “I think you'll like it here, soon as you get used to hard work, anyway. I highly doubt you've ever worked half as hard as we're going to work you every day, my lady.” The respectful phrase was quickly becoming derisive, but for some reason, Yelanna found that she didn't particularly mind.

[Zen]

Later that night, Yelanna lay awake in her cot, Nalyra asleep in the next one over, listening to a symphony of snoring. She had been sure after the tiring day she'd had, she would fall straight to sleep, but instead she was wide awake. She turned, closed her eyes a while, sighed when sleep eluded her. Nalyra had told her she wasn't supposed to go wandering about on her own, but....

She sat up, looking over at the other woman. “... Nalyra?” she whispered curiously, wondering if she was actually awake, suspiciously waiting for her to try something in the middle of the night. But Nalyra didn't stir. Looking around at the other sleeping forms, she slid her feet off the bed and onto the floor, standing hesitantly. Maybe just a bit of fresh air would do her some good?

As quietly as she could, she felt her way around in the darkness until she made it to the hall and through it to the stairs leading up on deck. It was a clear night, the stars shone brightly overhead as she stepped out, the wind gusting her hair around her face. She pushed it back and made her way over to the deck wall, bracing against it as she looked down into the dark waters below.

“Haven't changed your mind, have you?”

She jumped, turning, her hand flying to her chest as though to calm her hammering heart. Treyjen raised a curious eyebrow at her.

Taking a deep breath, she shook her head, “No.... I couldn't sleep. Too much... too much going on in my mind, I suppose. I learned quite a lot today, thanks to your sister.” She tilted her head slightly, “Why are you still awake?”

He shrugged, joining her at the deck wall, “I'm not a morning person. If I stay up late under the pretense of 'keeping an eye on things' I can sleep in.” He grinned over at her.

She looked unconvinced, “From what I saw today, you don't seem the lazy sort, captain.”

He gestured above them, “Navigating. I prefer to use the stars over Rukbat, saves the eyes. But I wasn't lying about not being a morning person.” He pushed away from the deck wall and began to walk back toward the stairs leading up to the quarterdeck.

After a moment, Yelanna followed him, “Navigating? Is it difficult?”

“Not really. Tedious, more than anything. Measuring angles and referencing them against charts and maps. Another reason I like doing it at night, no one around to distract me,” he explained, moving over to the navigation table where he had a number of tools laid out, as well as those maps and charts he had mentioned, a few glows laid out for light.

“Am I meant to take a hint from that?” Yelanna replied with some amusement.

Treyjen laughed, “No, actually. I'm nearly done, anyway.”

Yelanna peered down at the charts curiously, her gaze shifting to the great map of Pern stretched out beneath everything, “So... where are we?”

“Far too close to Tillek for my liking,” he murmured, more to himself than to her as he leaned over the map, reaching out to trace a rough circle in one area of the sea with one finger, “About here. I can get a bit more accurate, but that'll take a bit more work.”

“Will you show me?” She was fascinated by this skill of his. Well, she supposed it was a skill many sailors had, but she'd never really had a chance to see anyone doing it, to learn how it worked, “Will you teach me?”

“You want to learn to navigate?” he chuckled when she nodded, “You might change your mind once I've started teaching you. It really is a tedious thing.”

“I don't think so. It's amazing that you can figure out just where you are in the world without any landmarks at all to reference... nothing but sea and sky.... I'd like to know how to do that,” she looked up at him hopefully.

“You really are quite the curious girl, aren't you?” he picked up one of the tools he had laid out, “I can't teach you how to navigate in the span of one night.”

“Then teach me tomorrow night as well. And the next. I want to learn,” she insisted.

He eyed her for a moment, considering, “In time, perhaps. First, you've got to earn your place here. Agreeing to join us when the alternative is death hardly earns you our trust or loyalty. At the moment, you're little more than a prisoner. Prove yourself part of my crew and I'll teach you anything you'd like, that is within my ability to teach.”

Though she wanted to argue, she supposed his reasoning made sense. She would consider them all complete fools if they welcomed her aboard and trusted her on day one. Though she had no intention of 'fighting back' against her captors, as it was, there was no way they could know her true intentions. She didn't even really know why she had agreed to join them. It seemed a grand adventure, becoming a pirate... but then she remembered them throwing people overboard, and before that, when they had first boarded them, there had been blood. Several men had died fighting, bleeding out on the deck. Could she do that? Could she kill a man? She didn't think so.

Silence had fallen between them and Treyjen made a few more measurements, holding up some contraption or another and pointing it at some point in the sky that Yelanna tried to pinpoint but could not. She gazed up at the stars for a while, wondering how anyone could use nothing but the tiny specks of light to navigate the world.

“You seem rather at ease with watching men die,” she spoke at last, turning back to him, “Have you always been like that? Or did you become numb to it over time?”

Treyjen set down the sextant and turned an appraising eye her way, “Do you ever run out of questions?”

“Am I to take it that you don't want to talk about it then?” she tilted her head slightly at him.

He laughed, “Not at all. It took time.” He paused, looking thoughtful, “None of us wanted to, when we started out. None of us knew what we were sharding doing back then. We were more like brats playing at being pirates than anything.” He studied her a moment, “But we soon learned that if we wanted to survive, it was something we had to do. We used to let ships go. We figured... they would sail again, and again, and again, and we could continue to steal from them. It made sense to let them go, once we'd taken what we liked. But it only got word back to the port holds. They know our ships' names. They knew who we were and they quickly learned what trade routes we hunted. Ships started to avoid the waters we prowled, took other routes. We had to learn those new routes, and it gave us a hard few months. The dead cannot speak against us, cannot give warning. It was a hard lesson, but we learned it. I do not enjoy killing innocent people, my lady. Everything I do is for my crew's survival, and I will do whatever it takes.”

His stare was so intense, Yelanna looked down at the map to escape it, tracing one finger along the line that marked the coast of the southern continent thoughtfully. That was what made a good leader, she supposed. Someone willing to do whatever was necessary to protect and care for those that followed them. Someone willing to make difficult choices, to perform deeds that maybe they didn't want to do, but that needed to be done. There was far more to this man than she had originally thought.

Treyjen gave a short laugh, drawing her attention back, “We started tossing them into the sea, reasoning with ourselves that it would be the sea that killed them, not us. Some of the crew still think of it that way, helps ease their conscience. But to me, these people have become little more than herdbeasts, sent to slaughter so we can feed off them. I no more feel remorse for tossing a man into the sea than I feel for eating a piece of beef. Survival is survival, and I'll not spend my life feeling guilty that I live while someone else dies.”

It was a cold, logical way of looking at it. Perhaps it was how he coped? It was what he told himself to keep the killing from corrupting him into something darker. Somehow, he had managed to detach himself from it completely, to be able to compare his fellow man to herdbeasts. It was rather chilling. He leaned toward her slightly, “I haven't frightened you too badly, have I?” There was a dark sense of amusement playing over his features.

It was this moment, this conversation, that really made her see how truly dangerous a man Treyjen was. Alone in the night with him as he casually told her his inner thoughts about the countless murders he had committed, only to make light of it all, teasing her. She shook her head slightly, unsure what to say, unable to find her voice. He laughed, “I think you're lying. Well. Don't ever let it be said that I don't give honest answers when I'm questioned.” It was true enough at sea, anyway. Ashore, well... he did not generally outright lie, but twisting the truth was always fair game.

And then the next question was out of her mouth before she could stop it, “Do you remember the first man you killed?” Her hand covered her mouth as soon as it was out, surprised by her own morbid curiosity on the matter. She waved her other hand dismissively as he looked at her with his own surprise clear on his face, “N-no... don't... I didn't mean to....”

“Hm... perhaps not as frightened as I thought?” he mused, “I doubt anyone that's killed ever forgets the first. The others, sure... they can all run together, but for one or two here and there that stand out for some reason. But I don't think you forget the first, no matter how many follow.” He began to pick up the navigation tools on the table, wrapping them each carefully in hide, “It was back when we were still letting ships go once we'd finished with them. We were boarding, Nalyra got caught off guard....” He paused in the middle of wrapping a sextant, his eyes getting a distant look to them, “I just remember the blood. My sister's blood. Everything went red for me, as if that blood was all that existed.” He blinked back out of the memory, finished the wrapping, “Several of my men had to pull me off the man that did it. I was covered in blood, I could feel it, warm, sticky, on my face, hands, seeping through my clothing. I don't know how many times I stabbed him. Almost couldn't tell he was a man anymore, for all the blood, and all the holes I put in him.” His voice grew quieter, as if she wasn't entirely meant to hear the next words he spoke, “Never knew killing a man could feel so satisfying.”

“You... really care about her,” it wasn't a question. It was readily apparent just how much Treyjen cared about those he counted as family, how far he was willing to go for them. She stared down at the map, thinking bitterly of her own family, sending her off to marry some man she'd never met, trading her like a herdbeast. What would it be like to have a family that fought for you, that killed for you?

Treyjen studied her for a moment, “Just don't tell her that.”

Yelanna couldn't help but laugh, “You are a most intriguing man, Treyjen.”

He grinned, all arrogance, “Oh I know, though it is nice to hear from time to time.”

“Mm... and so very humble, as well,” she rolled her eyes and looked out over the dark water, “Nalyra... said you stole this ship from your father.”

Treyjen seemed surprised she knew, “Did she?”

Yelanna looked over at him, “You don't want to talk about it either?”

“Didn't say that,” he responded shortly, “Just surprised she told you anything. She's not generally so friendly.”

With a soft laugh, Yelanna shook her head, “Yes, I gathered as much.” She waited a moment before prompting him, “Why...?”

“She was in the same boat as you,” Treyjen growled softly, putting away his tools now that they'd all been properly wrapped up, “Our dear father wanted to marry her off to bring three more ships into his fleet. So my crew and I took my ship, and I took her away... so she could be free.” He met her gaze seriously, “I'm not a big fan of marriage to begin with... but even less, arranged marriage.” He moved around the table, closer to her, and she braced herself against the table to keep from moving away from him, “You can be happy here. Free. No one will force you into anything but a hard day's work on my ship. And even then, you can choose where you serve. Everyone works. Everyone contributes. Everyone survives.”

She nodded, “I understand. I... I'll do my best. I'm just... I don't know if... if killing someone is...-”

“There are plenty of members of my crew who have never killed anyone, Yelanna,” he assured her, much to her surprise, “If you stay, you'll be taught to fight, to defend yourself... but you're under no obligation to kill anyone.... It's not something everyone can handle.”

Well, that was certainly a relief. She nodded again, grateful for having talked with him. It was amazing how well he had eased her mind. Nalyra was right, he was a very different man when he wasn't putting on a show for captives. “Thank you, captain,” she murmured, and yawned, “I suppose I should rest... if you're putting me to work tomorrow.”

“Aye,” he agreed, rolling up maps and charts, “Off with you.”

She turned and started back for her bed, pausing at the stairs to look back at him briefly before continuing on, “Have a good night, captain.”

[Zen]

“Why does your brother hate the idea of marriage so much?”

Nalyra looked up at the other woman from where she was demonstrating knotwork for her, “Where the shell did that come from? What, did you ask him to marry you?”

Yelanna choked on a laugh, “Of course not! What a ridiculous thing to say.”

“Tch. Your question is what's ridiculous. What does that have to do with anything?” she seemed to be getting defensive, though Yelanna wasn't sure why.

She sighed and waved her hand, “Nevermind then.”

Nalyra eyed her, “Don't tell me you're falling for him, I might just throw up.”

“I am not falling for him!” Yelanna insisted with a huff, “This has nothing at all to do with me, I assure you. We've only had conversations... nevermind. You're right, it isn't important, and has nothing to do with anything.”

“Uh huh,” she replied flatly, clearly unconvinced, “You're not fooling anyone, you know. I've seen how you watch him.”

“Watch...? I don't...,” Yelanna felt her face heating up and was unable to really refute the statement. She coughed lightly, “Well. I won't deny that I find him... attractive.”

Nalyra rolled her eyes, “I swear I'm gonna be the only woman in this entire crew that hasn't slept with him.”

Yelanna flushed even redder, “I-I haven't... we... that... I haven't even... considered-”

“Oh, you haven't considered it? Yeah right. If you find him attractive, you've considered it,” Nalyra grinned darkly at her and couldn't resist teasing her further, “You've imagined it. While you've been doing something mundane like peeling tubers... or late at night in the quiet when you're all tucked up... you've thought about it.”

“Nalyra!” Yelanna seemed completely aghast, giving a quick, wild look about the ship, and Nalyra had a good laugh at her expense.

“You even been to bed with a man before, my lady?” Nalyra raised an eyebrow at her when she finally got her laughter under control.

Yelanna stiffened a bit, “I am not having this discussion.”

Nalyra grinned once more, “Well that's too bad, 'cause I am. I'd say no. Saving yourself for marriage, right? Like a good little girl. Gotta keep the goods pristine for the highest bidder.” Her tone took on a bitterness and Yelanna realized she must be thinking of her own near marriage.

She sighed, resigned, for though she had only been aboard the Storm's Eye two sevendays, she knew enough about Nalyra by now to know she was not going to just let it go. “Fine, you're right. I never have.” It wasn't like there was any shame in admitting such a thing, after all.

“Mhm... so how far have you gone?”

Yelanna rubbed a hand over her face in exasperation, “I'm really not having this discussion.”

“Oh-ho... so there has been some action then?” Nalyra leaned forward slightly, that teasing grin on her lips, “If you're not going to offer the facts, I can always guess. Lessee.... Kissing certainly. I imagine you've shied away from action below the belt, but maybe above, hm?” Yelanna was well and truly red now. Surely she couldn't get any redder at this point? Nalyra laughed, “I'm right, aren't I? I really am good at this. Then again, you're just too easy to read. You should work on that.”

“Can we please talk about something else now?” Yelanna begged her companion, and quickly jumped on the first thing that came to mind, “What was the knot you were teaching me?”

“Smooth,” Nalyra snorted, “Sheet bend.” She studied the other woman for a moment, then scowled lightly, “It's only a matter of time, you know. Deny it all you want. I guarantee you'll be in bed with him at some point. Just know that that's when I'll lose all respect for you.”

“For Faranth's sake!” she stood from where she was sitting with the woman, “If you're not going to teach me I may as well make myself useful somewhere else.” Nalyra didn't stop her as she stalked away in a huff, a smirk on her face as she watched her go.

She returned to the galley to put herself to work helping to prepare the crew's next meal, but managed to give herself a decent cut in the process in her distraction and ended up back on deck for a break while she applied pressure to the wound and waited for it to stop bleeding. She frowned a bit as she look down at her hand, wondering why the shell Nalyra seemed to derive so much pleasure from making people uncomfortable. It wasn't just her, she'd seen her interact with others too. But shells if she wasn't right a lot of the time. You've imagined it. While you've been doing something mundane like peeling tubers.... Something like peeling tubers indeed.

“Don't need a healer, do you?”

She startled, glancing back at Treyjen where he stood with an eyebrow quirked at her... bare chested and trousers rolled up to his knees. She flushed all over again and turned back to the sea, “N-no. Just a bit of a deep cut... bleeding is taking a while to slow.”

He held out his hand, “Let me see.” After a moment's hesitation, she gave him her hand, palm up, and pulled away the cloth she had been using to stem the bleeding. He unhooked a skin hanging from his belt and uncapped it with his teeth. When he poured some of the liquid over her hand she yelped in surprise at the sting and tried to pull away, but he held her there, “If you're not going to be seen by a healer, at least run something over it to help keep it clean.” The only real healer they had generally stayed on the Sea Dragon since the ship was larger and housed more of the crew, but the man had taught some general first aid to anyone interested in learning, Treyjen included.

Yelanna winced and her breath hissed out through her teeth as he finished. He took a drink from the skin before corking it once more and hooking it back on his belt, and Yelanna narrowed her eyes at him, “What did you just pour on my hand?”

“Alcohol,” he grinned, “Wonderful thing, isn't it? Many uses. Does well enough on wounds in a pinch.”

She rolled her eyes. In the two sevendays she'd been aboard, she had seen the captain drunk near enough to half the time. She had to say he kept decent control of himself under the influence, the first time she wouldn't have even known if not for the overwhelming smell of it that radiated from him, and the way he was a bit more, erm, forward with her, even by his standards. The man flirted with her plenty, but he was more determined about it when he was drunk, rather than the usual playful banter he tossed at her while he was sober. “Why not carry redwort around on your belt instead? Seems a deal more useful to me.”

“I can't drink redwort,” he retorted as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. She pressed the cloth to her wound again, wincing slightly, and chose not to reply to that. “So how'd you manage that?”

She coughed lightly, “Erm. Just... let myself get distracted while working with a knife.”

His eyebrow quirked again, “I thought Nalyra was teaching you knotwork?”

Yelanna huffed, “She's so frustrating. I needed a break.”

Treyjen laughed outright at that, “Aye, she does have a talent for it.” He leaned against the deckwall and closer to her, voice dropping conspiratorially, “You know the best way to handle her when she gets like that, don't you?” She shook her head slightly, curious. “Like a child, really,” Treyjen went on, “You can't let it bother you. She lives for the reactions she gets, but if you don't react she'll get bored and lay off eventually. Not to say that she won't try again later... but it's something of a game, a test she puts others through. If you win, you earn yourself a little more respect.”

It made a certain amount of sense, even if, as he had said, it sounded incredibly childish of a grown woman. When she thought about it, it really was like something a child would do. Push limits and boundaries just to see what would happen, to get a reaction. “Why does she do that?” she looked over at him curiously.

He shrugged, “Turns of watching me, I suppose.”

“You don't do that... not that I've seen.”

He laughed again, “You never saw me with my father.” He glanced over at her with a grin, “He never won. I always got a reaction. And he never got my respect.”

Yelanna laughed at that, “You must have been a terrible son to have.”

Treyjen shrugged again, “He was a terrible father to have. Seems only fair. And I still live for reactions.”

He took a step back and she turned to keep him in her sights, “I don't-” She cut herself off as he closed the distance between them with a quick step forward, and she backed up against the deckwall on instinct, her eyes wide and a blush coloring her face as he leaned in close.

“But you're far too easy a target,” his classic smirk tugged at his lips, his mouth merely a quick lean in from her own, but he stepped away again and simply turned and walked away, leaving her there with her heart pounding, carelessly tossing his final words to her over his shoulder, “I prefer a challenge!”

If his entire family was this frustrating, she understood why he had stolen a ship and fled from it.

[Zen]

Treyjen was sitting at the table in his quarters, feet up, going over their inventory list after their most recent haul, speculating the best place to make their next trading stop based on the wares they could sell, what he knew of what sold best where. Suddenly his door slammed shut and he looked over to see Yelanna standing there, pressed against it, her face the color of a redfruit. Raising a brow, he tossed the list lightly onto the table and swung his legs back to the floor, “Something wrong, love?”

She seemed to notice him for the first time, “Ah! Oh… ah, yes… I mean, no…. This was just the first place I… I could think of….”

“You’re making very little sense,” Treyjen replied with some amusement, “What happened?”

“N-nothing…,” she seemed to turn redder, if it was even possible.

“I don’t appreciate being lied to,” Treyjen’s tone dropped, but there was still a teasing glint in his eyes.

“They… do they just… in the open like that… I mean… there’s not a lot of privacy I suppose, but surely… there’s a better place than… than….”

And then it dawned on him just what must have happened and he broke into a laugh. Yelanna covered her face with her hands as if she could hide her embarrassment. “What can I say, love? We are a close-knit bunch. Is that really the first time you’ve walked in on two of them together? I’d think it would have happened long before now.”

She threw up her hands, “I suppose I’m just lucky!”

He laughed again, “Why are you so embarrassed? You’re not the one that was walked in on.”

“Well! That… that is….”

“Mmhm. Come. Sit. Have a drink with me,” Treyjen stood, retrieved a skin of ale and brought it back to the table as Yelanna warily took a seat, but took the offered skin readily enough.

She coughed lightly after taking a long drink and passed it back to him, “That is awful stuff.”

He grinned and took a drink of his own, “It serves its purpose.” He studied her for a moment. Her face seemed a tad less red. “Why did you come here, of all places?”

She stared down at her hands, contemplative, “I don’t know, I… I just… wanted to hide somewhere… somewhere… I felt safe, I suppose.” Her voice grew quieter and quieter as she spoke.

Treyjen raised an eyebrow once more, confused, “I don’t think you’ve been in my quarters but for once or twice since you joined us.”

She cleared her throat, still staring down at her hands, “Well it… it’s where you were.” And she was becoming redder again.

After a moment of silence, he laughed again, sitting back in his chair and taking another drink of ale, “You feel safe with me? The murderous pirate that took you captive? What a strange woman you are.”

She looked up at him then, defensive, “You also promised to protect me, offered me freedom. So yes. I do.”

“Hmm… fair point,” he nodded slightly, still studying her, still smirking.

“And we have been spending a decent amount of time together, you know. I probably know you better than I know anyone else on the ship, except Nalyra maybe. You… talking to you always… helps put me at ease,” she ended up murmuring, clearly a bit uncomfortable with just how comfortable she was around him.

“There’s nothing wrong with enjoying my company, love, you’re certainly not the only one,” he grinned over at her, taking another drink and holding it out to her again.

She narrowed her eyes at him for a moment and finally snatched the skin from his hand, taking a deep breath before she took another drink. She coughed just the same as the last time when she handed it back, “Augh, how do you drink that? Why do you drink that?”

He chuckled, “You don’t drink alcohol for the taste, you drink for how it makes you feel. Or not feel, whatever the case may be.”

“Well that makes me feel disgust,” she eyed the skin disdainfully, uncertain now why she had taken the second drink. It fully occurred to her what he had just said and she turned a curious look his way, “So which is it for you, captain?”

He laughed, “If you’re expecting some sad story about drowning the pain of a terrible past, I’m sorry to disappoint you. I just thoroughly enjoy how being drunk feels.”

“Well there must have been something terrible enough to make you steal a ship and flee your family,” she frowned over at him.

He paused with the aleskin to his lips to look over at her, but then took a long drink before speaking again, “Already told you. It was to keep Nalyra free. My father was the something terrible.”

Yelanna looked down at her hands for a moment, “It’s not uncommon you know… I don’t know if arranging a marriage for your child really makes you that terrible-”

“Taking away your child’s choice in their own lives is unforgivable,” Treyjen growled before she could finish, “I would think you would understand that. That man didn’t give a shell about any of us but for how he could use us to his own ends. And if we didn’t measure up to what he wanted, he cast us aside. He cast my brother aside. Sent him to live with my mother’s brothers, fishers. Never cared to check in on him. Not once. He had thirteen turns when he was dropped off in Tillek and told he would no longer be sailing with us and that bastard never spared him another moment of his time.” He stared through her, recalling the look on his favored brother’s face when their father had dropped that news on him. Rey hadn’t had a choice either. At least he did manage to find happiness in the life their father had forced on him - the life of a fisher had suited him far more than that of a trader in the end - but the callous way their father had pushed him out of their lives just stoked his burning hatred for the man. He took another drink, whether to douse the flames or fuel them, he wasn’t sure at the moment.

“I’m sorry….”

Treyjen eyed her, “For what?”

She looked up at him, “That your father didn’t love you like a father should love his children. I suppose I can relate….” She sighed and sat back, gazing up at the ceiling of the cabin, “He loved my brothers well enough. I saw it. How he looked at them. He never looked at me that way.”

Treyjen cursed, startling her into looking back over at him, “Because you were a girl.” It wasn’t a question, and she gave him only a sad smile in response. “I still remember when Nalyra was born. He hardly seemed happy about it at all. I didn’t understand then…. Because she was a girl and he wanted sons. It wasn’t long before he was back out to sea, leaving us behind…. Thinking about it now, I can see how it affected my mother, but she sure did a good job hiding it from me then. His disappointment… bastard sure had a lot of it to go around.” After a moment of silence, Yelanna reached over, and it took him a moment realize she wanted the skin back. She took another drink, much to his surprise, coughing as she finished yet again, but she didn’t make further comment on the taste as she handed it back. She studied him for a time and he raised a brow at her, “What?”

“You often mention how terrible your father was… what about your mother? This is the first I’ve heard you speak of her.”

He took the skin back for another drink before he responded, leaning back in his chair and staring up at the ceiling for a moment, “A good woman… a good person, in general. She deserved better than she got. But she was complicit. No matter what he did… she rarely spoke against him, and even when she did, she backed down far too easily.” He contemplated his mother further as he took another drink, “It hurt her to leave my brother behind. She visited him every time we went back to Tillek, even if he never did. But she accepted it. If she fought for him, it was behind closed doors where I never saw it. And I don’t suspect she did. Treylok is not a man to put up with argument from his children nor his wife. And considering her lack of any visible bruising, I don’t imagine she ever spoke up in my brother’s defense.”

“Bruising…?” Yelanna’s eyes widened and Treyjen looked back over at her, clearly confused as to why she sounded so surprised.

“I’m the only one he ever raised a hand to, as far as I’m aware. Prompt and complete obedience from the rest of my family kept them safe from his temper, I imagine,” he shrugged, drank again.

“Wait, even Nalyra?” her tone was incredulous at the idea of Nalyra ever giving anyone prompt and complete obedience.

Treyjen laughed, “Prompt, though perhaps not always complete. She was good at giving the appearance of quick obedience and then waiting for him to disappear before she did something else. And where disobedience was involved, I made sure I could always be blamed instead.” His blue gaze darkened, “He would have been the first man I killed if he had ever laid a hand on her.”

Yelanna believed him, but it took a moment before the full weight of what he’d said settled on her, “Oh, captain…. You….”

“Mm?” he couldn’t quite read the look on her face, some mixture of emotions that was difficult to decipher. Pity, perhaps. Admiration? Hm.

“You’re a good man, captain.”

Well. That certainly hadn’t been what he was expecting. He laughed outright after a heartbeat of shocked silence, “No I’m not.”

Her eyes widened in surprise at his stark disagreement and she leaned toward him, her tone serious, “Yes, you are.”

“Good men don’t murder innocents, love,” Treyjen pointed out with some amusement, “They don’t steal and kill for a living. Having a horrible father that I had to protect my little sister from doesn’t change that. Don’t get confused, and don’t use my past to justify my choices. What I do is wrong. I’m very aware of that. I just don’t care. And that, I believe, makes it entirely worse, wouldn’t you say?” He lifted the aleskin as if in toast and drank again.

She couldn’t entirely argue with that, but, “You’re not as bad as you like to make yourself out to be, at least. I think you do care. Is that why you drink so much? To deal with it all?”

He offered her a long suffering sigh in return to that hypothesis, “I already told you, love. I just like how it feels to be drunk. I have been drinking like this since long before I became a pirate. Stop trying to justify it all, you’re wasting your time.”

“And I’m sure your father’s abuse that you took so Nalyra wouldn’t have to has nothing to do with it either-”

She flinched back as he slammed a fist down on the table and leaned toward her, “Enough!” And now they both knew she was getting too close to a truth he didn’t wish to acknowledge.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured softly, “I shouldn’t have-”

“Just drop it,” he growled, waving in the general direction of his door, “Don’t you have work to do?”

With a small nod, she stood and left without another word. Treyjen cursed and drank again, furious that he had let his temper get the best of him with her. He couldn't be like his father. He wouldn't.

[Zen]

Lying in her cot that night, Yelanna felt a restlessness that kept her awake long after everyone else had fallen asleep. She had done her best to avoid Treyjen the rest of the day, give him space he surely wanted after she had pushed too hard. But she felt completely terrible about it and was certain she would get no sleep at all until she had tried to set things right between them. So she slid from her cot and carefully made her way up to the deck. Drawing in a deep breath of cool night air, she turned, looking up to see Treyjen where he was predictably working out just where they were on Pern and how to get them to wherever it was he wanted them to go next.

She ascended the steps to join him, keeping quiet while he held up that strange contraption he always used, making some adjustments with it, and jotted down notes on a scrap of hide. He paused to look up at her then, “You’re early tonight.”

She blinked in surprise, “Early? For what?”

“Normally you don’t end up joining me until I’m nearly finished,” he explained, holding up the contraption again to find some other point in the sky.

“Normally?” she laughed lightly, hesitantly joining him across the table where he had his maps, tools, and glows laid out, “What is this, the third time?”

“Mm... ,” he agreed absently, jotting down more notes, sliding a straight edge over one of the maps to make a few light marks before pointing the tool back at the sky.

Normally he was more forthcoming, their conversation tended to flow easily, but she could feel the tension that remained between them from earlier in the day. She sighed, “Captain, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have pressed-”

“Don’t,” he cut her off quickly, making another note before he set the tool down to give her his full attention. His expression was serious, a look she rarely saw on his face. She opened her mouth to continue but he spoke first, “I am sorry, Yelanna.”

“You…?”

“I shouldn’t have lost my temper like I did. I…. I would never harm you, I promise you that,” there was a rough edge to his voice and Yelanna simply studied him, brow furrowed in confusion, “Now you’re part of my crew, I swear you’ve nothing to fear from me.”

That edge in his tone, she realized, was a hint of desperation. For her to understand. For her to believe him. “I never believed for a moment that you would hurt me,” she assured him quietly, but she could see the doubt flicker over his features.

“You… left awful fast.”

“I…? Oh. I wasn’t running from you, captain,” she shook her head and moved closer to him if only to prove to him she wasn’t afraid, “I had carelessly pressed too far into business that wasn’t mine to know. I… I didn’t want to stay and keep saying things that upset you. My curiosity so often gets the better of me and I can’t seem to just keep my mouth shut when I need to. I thought… the best option was to leave.”

She saw him visibly relax then, though when he spoke he was still clearly uncertain, “Ah… well… good then. Forgiveness all around and we can just forget that ever happened, aye?”

She took a deep breath, let it out, and nodded. If that was what he wanted, she supposed. “As long as it isn’t hanging between us anymore.”

A smirk pulled at his lips, “Mm, I would certainly hate for anything to come between us.” His gaze flicked down as he realized just how close she had gotten.

“Yes, I-” she realized what he meant and rolled her eyes, taking a half step back, “Well, you recover fast.” He chuckled, picked up his strange tool again. Which reminded her, “You called me a part of your crew.”

He cast a quick look her way, “Aye.”

“Does that mean… I’ve earned my place here?”

Considering her seriously for a moment, it occurred to him just what she was getting at, “You still want to learn to navigate.”

“I do,” she agreed quickly, eagerly, “I’m decent at figures. I learn quickly.”

He gestured above them, “Before you learn how to use the numbers, you have to learn how we arrive at the numbers in the first place. And that starts with the stars.” She nodded, clearly eager to learn any part of the process, “Do you know your constellations?”

“No, not really…. I know a few?” her brows furrowed curiously, “What do pictures in the stars have to do with navigation?”

“You told me you thought it was amazing that I could figure out where we are in the world without landmarks to reference, but I do have landmarks. Skymarks?” he shrugged, “A constellation in the night sky is just as much a point of reference as a road marker. You just have to know how to read it properly.” Treyjen moved a bit closer to her to better direct her vision, raising an arm to point, “I’m sure you know the Dragon constellation.”

“Oh, yes, I know that one,” she followed his finger and quickly found the stars that made up the well known constellation.

“And the star that is the Dragon’s Eye?”

She nodded, “The brightest one in the constellation.”

“Aye. Have you noticed how the stars move throughout the turn?”

“I… suppose it’s not something I ever paid much attention to,” she admitted.

“Well, it hardly makes any difference to most of Pern. But they do. If you look at the sky during the summer, you’ll not see the same stars that you do in the middle of winter. However, the Dragon is visible from the Northern Continent in any season, and the Dragon’s Eye star is always in the same place. It tells us where north is. Finding south is a bit trickier when we’re nearer the Southern Continent and can no longer see the Dragon’s Eye.”

“But I thought you said you could see it in any season?” Yelanna looked up at him, mildly confused.

“Aye, from the Northern Continent. The south has a view of different stars than the north.”

“This constellation business is far more complicated than I thought it would be,” Yelanna mused.

“Not giving up, are you?” Treyjen raised an eyebrow, looking down at her.

“Oh, no, I’m just thinking aloud. Do continue, I think it’s all fascinating.”

He studied her for a long moment, expecting sarcasm, but her tone and her features both spoke of sincerity. “Well, in a pinch, the Dragon’s Eye will eventually lead you to land if you follow it, but if you would like to figure out just where in the world you are, you also need to keep track of time and know where the constellations should be at that time, on that date, during that season.”

“I… see why you can’t teach me in the span of a night.”

Treyjen laughed, gazing up at the stars, “It will take turns of observation and practice before you’ll be able to get as accurate as I’m sure you’d like to be, and even then there’s still plenty of room for error. Which is why when you ask where we are, I give you a general location to account for how much error I expect there might be. I can, from experience, figure it accurate enough to get us set on a fairly efficient course, making corrections along the way. But I’ve spent my entire life at sea.” He grinned down at her, “If you really want to learn to navigate, you’re going to be spending an awful lot of time with me.”

“Well, I suppose I can bear it if I must,” she smirked back at him.

“Bear it?” he shifted, placed his hands on the table on either side of her and she leaned back in surprise at their sudden proximity, “Are you sure you can handle it?”

Her heart thudded, but she took another deep breath and forced herself forward instead of back, recalling how he had explained his and Nalyra’s desire to get reactions out of others. It would only take a sharp rock of the ship and she was sure their lips would meet, but she didn’t think she would be at all upset over it, “I think I’ll be just fine, captain.”

He laughed, moved away to give her her space back, “You’re getting better. Perhaps you can handle it.”

She took it as a victory. “What is this thing you’re always pointing at the sky?” Picking up the tool, she turned it over in her hands curiously.

“A sextant. It measures the angle between us, a particular star, and the horizon, and from there I can begin to decipher just what longitude and latitude we’re sitting at,” he tapped the map with a finger, tracing over the lines that indicated each, “Or near enough, at least.”

“A se-... are you just making up strange words to make me sound foolish saying them?”

He laughed, “I wouldn’t put it past me, if I were you. But the tool is indeed called a sextant. Here, find the Dragon’s Eye and I’ll show you how to sight it to find our latitude. Latitude’s easy. It’s longitude that takes turns to learn how to figure properly.”

“Both of those sound like made up words as well,” she responded with some amusement.

“Well when you think about it, all words are made up. Now find the Eye.”

Yelanna found that the sextant was a far more complex tool to use than she had imagined, but Treyjen was a surprisingly patient teacher, and quite devoted to the task at hand once they’d begun. There was a shocking lack of flirtatious comments involved. She wasn’t sure whether she ought to be relieved or disappointed, and the thought had heat rising to her face. She was thankful for the relative cover of night. When he finally took the tool back from her she leaned back against the table, still gazing up at the Eye star, “I really didn’t expect it to be this complicated. You called it tedious but there is a lot more involved than you let on.”

Treyjen gave a short laugh, “Have I scared you away?”

“Absolutely not,” she turned back to him, “I’m determined to learn. Otherwise this was just a big waste of both our time.”

He shifted closer again, his eyes laughing in the dim light of the glows, “Well, you’re in for many a long, grueling night with me, then.”

She stood her ground, more confident than before, “Does that mean I get to sleep in like you do?”

He grinned, “That depends where you’re sleeping.” She laughed and pushed him back, and he let her, shrugging, “Well, if you’re staying with the rest of the crew, you’ll rise with the rest of the crew, so I suggest you get back to bed. I doubt Nalyra will be terribly impressed if you’re slacking in your work tomorrow. Especially if you tell her you were up with me half the night.”

“Well certainly not if you phrase it like that,” Yelanna replied indignantly.

He smirked, “Well, she’s quite convinced you’re going to end up in bed with me. I doubt she’d believe any other reason you gave her.”

She felt her face flush again, “She… told you that?”

Treyjen laughed, grinning maliciously, “She tells me plenty.”

Great Faranth. What had Nalyra told him? Her face felt as if it were on fire.

“You know if she’s going to think it anyway-”

“Good night, captain!” she cut him off and hurried away. Sharditall Nalyra!

[Zen]

“Just what is going on with you today? You’ve been quiet and throwing dirty looks at me since this morning,” Nalyra had finally cornered Yelanna in a relatively quiet, out of the way spot, demanding an explanation for her behavior.

“Treyjen said you told him things,” she blurted in an angry whisper, glancing around as if the man might materialize from the woodwork with that teasing grin on his face.

“What the shell are you going on about? What things?”

Yelanna felt her face beginning to flush, “About… me… and… and ending up in bed with him. And… other things.”

Nalyra stared at her for a long moment, “What other things? Yeah I told him I was surprised you hadn’t ended up in bed with him yet. Told him he was losing his touch. I don’t know what the shell else you’re talking about.”

“But… he said….”

Suddenly a look of realization dawned on the other woman’s face and she burst into laughter.

“Wh-why are you laughing?” Yelanna hissed angrily, “It’s not funny! I thought I could… that we could talk and… you know… you wouldn’t go-”

“Oh, shells, Lanna. I didn’t tell him a sharding thing. He played you. Now he absolutely knows you’re interested in him. Good job.”

“He… what…?” the realization slowly sank in for Yelanna as well. That slimy tunnelsnake tricked her!

She jumped as Nalyra clapped her on the shoulder, still clearly amused, “You weren’t doing a great job of hiding it anyway, don’t feel too bad. But you’ve given him a definitive answer, that’s for sure.”

Yelanna groaned softly in protest, “Nalyraaaa….”

“Only a matter of time now,” Nalyra sighed, “Been nice knowing you.”

“I’m not… what? It’s not like I would be dying... and it’s not happening anyway!”

“Protest while you still can~” Nalyra tossed back at her in a sing-song voice as she turned to walk away.

“Nalyra! We… ugh!” she let her friend go, knowing she would only continue to get teased if she followed. Standing against the wall Nalyra had cornered her against, she tilted her head back and closed her eyes, annoyed at herself for falling for Treyjen’s trap. She supposed she deserved to be teased after doubting Nalyra’s ability to keep their private conversations private.

“Something wrong, love?”

She nearly leaped out of her skin at the sound of his voice, her heart hammering in her chest as she stared at him with wide eyes. Shards and shells, why did he have to be shirtless? “Ah… uh… what… what are you doing here?”

“Nalyra said you were looking for me,” he raised a brow at her, “And it’s my ship, I’ll go where I please.”

Her face immediately went red and she sputtered, “No I- she- that’s not-... I didn’t- I wasn’t!” She didn’t know how but she was definitely getting Nalyra back for this.

His brow furrowed and he stepped closer, “You want to tell me what’s going on?”

Had they planned this? Great Faranth, this wasn’t fair. She did her best not to move away as he got closer, “N-nothing… Nalyra’s just… being Nalyra.” Here she thought the woman didn’t want her with her brother and then she sends him to her now of all times? What the shell was wrong with her?

Treyjen laughed, “Hm… well, if that’s the case, that can only mean the opposite is true. So. Why would you rather I not be here, and why would Nalyra send me anyway?” A dark grin spread across his lips that said he knew very well the answers to those questions.

“Because you’re both absolutely infuriating,” she huffed, not quite able to meet his eyes. Yet looking elsewhere meant having a terrible time keeping her gaze from roving over his bare skin, her eyes trying to trace over the lines of muscles built up from turns of heavy labor while also attempting to quash the curiosity that was always piqued by the sight of the various pale scars that marred his skin, warm and dark with exposure to the sun.

His voice drew her gaze up to see that cocky smirk on his lips, “Thirsty, love? You’re about panting.” Her face was on fire again as he leaned closer, realizing that her breathing had indeed changed. She should stop him. She could push him away, just like last night. Her hand settled lightly on his chest and he stopped, eyebrow raised curiously at her. “Tell me to walk away and I will,” he murmured in a low tone, waiting for her answer, his blue eyes laughing at her.

She should. She should tell him to do just that. Why…? In the moment, she couldn’t think of a single good reason. Instead she shook her head, almost imperceptibly, and he closed the short distance between them to capture her mouth with his. She’d been kissed before, but not like this, not with such intense, demanding hunger behind it. He was unyielding, she was left with no recourse but to yield to him, her heart fluttering wildly in her chest.

When their lips at last parted she had to take a moment to catch her breath, and in that moment he stepped back, “Well, suppose you ought to get back to work then.” He shot her another of his malicious grins and was walking away before she could pull herself back together to form any sort of response.

“Wh… what…?” she breathed, unable to do more than watch him walk away as her mind clawed out of the strange haze he had put her in. There was a heat burning within her like nothing she’d ever felt before and she was sure she was going to burn herself to ash if she didn’t find some way to cool it. Perhaps with a leap into the sea. “C-captain!” she called after him, her mind beginning to clear, but he didn’t look back. She took a step after him but stopped. Just what was she supposed to do, run after him and beg for more? Oh, he would love that, wouldn’t he? Arrogant sharding tunnelsnake probably expected her to, didn’t he? She wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction and make a complete fool of herself all at once. Not that she wasn’t tempted.

She forced herself in the opposite direction to go help prepare the next meal. Perhaps there would be something she could stab multiple times in order to release this nearly unbearable frustration.

Infuriating was too mild a word for those two.

[Zen]

Checking over their food stores with Nalyra, she couldn’t quite bring herself to meet the other woman’s eyes, and was grateful for the hide in her hands that gave her an excuse to focus on something else as Nalyra called out figures for her to record. Unfortunately the task was finished all too soon.

“Shells, but I hate inventory,” Nalyra complained, “So boring. And so few of the crew can actually read or write I always seem to get stuck with the stupid job.” She leaned back against a wall moodily, eyeing Yelanna, “You’ve been oddly quiet the last few days.”

Yelanna made to be double checking her notes, but eventually sighed, knowing she couldn’t really avoid the conversation. Nalyra wasn’t someone that allowed herself to be ignored. “Why… why did you send him after me?” She looked up at Nalyra, finally, utterly confused, “I thought you didn’t want me to… be with him.”

She laughed and pushed away from the wall, tossing her dark hair back, “You know what bothers me even more, Lanna? You want him and you won’t sharding admit it. Like you’re still trying to act like some stupid, pure little hold girl. It pisses me off. In case you hadn’t noticed, you’re a sharding pirate, Lanna. If we want something we shellin’ take it.”

Yelanna felt her face heating up, and she didn’t know what to say to that. Technically, she supposed… she was a pirate now. Not that she felt like much of one. But also the thought flitted through her mind of just… taking what she wanted. She couldn’t help the little fantasy that played out in her head, how she’d waltz right into his quarters and just-

“Hmph,” the annoyed sound from Nalyra brought her back to reality quickly enough, “You’re a free woman, Yelanna. Do whatever the shell you want and stop caring so much what others think of you for it.” With that she brushed past and stalked away, leaving Yelanna standing there clutching the inventory hide to her chest.

~~~

When she joined Treyjen out on the deck that night, she stood at the top of the stairs for a long moment, watching him measure the stars. As he recorded some figure or another, he spoke, “Here I thought you’d changed your mind.”

She jumped a bit, cleared her throat and moved closer, “About what?”

“Learning to navigate,” he never once stopped his work, “When you didn’t join me the last couple nights, I figured that was the end of that venture.”

She snorted indignantly, “I don’t give up that easily.”

A smirk tugged at his lips, “Glad to hear it.” He lowered the sextant to jot down another figure and finally looked over at her, “So then. Why have you been avoiding me?”

“I-…,” she started to protest and he rose a brow at her, a silent challenge to finish the lie they both knew now rested on her tongue. With a huff, she swallowed it back, “Because I don’t know what to do with you.”

He laughed, tilted his head slightly and spread his hands, a suggestive smirk on his lips, “Whatever you’d like.”

She stiffened, feeling the heat on her face, “And that’s exactly why.”

He laughed again, moved closer to her and it took some effort to stay where she was, “I think you know exactly what you’d like to do with me.”

She couldn’t exactly refute that, but she shook her head anyway, “I don’t… I’m not… I don’t know… how.”

He raised a brow at her once more and then sighed, reaching out to tilt her chin up so she would look at him, “No, I suppose not. Women are so seldom taught how to express their own desires.” He leaned down to kiss her, stopped when she placed a hand on his chest, his voice low as the smirk returned to his lips, “I like to think I’m a decent teacher.”

She couldn’t help but laugh, despite her nerves, “I’m sure you do think that. Your ego knows no bounds.”

He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her gently closer, and she allowed it, “I prefer to think of it as confidence.”

“Mmm,” she agreed, amused, as she allowed him to kiss her, gave herself over to it while it was just the two of them alone in the night. When she finally pulled away, she rested her forehead against his chest, catching her breath. Again she felt that fire burning in her, clutched at his coat to ground herself. “I… I want… I want this, but I…,” she trailed off, looked up at him, anxious again, “I’m… afraid.”

He raised an eyebrow and a concerned look passed over his features, “Afraid? … Of me?”

She shook her head, “No, no… not… of… of….” She huffed, frustrated with herself, felt her face burning once more, her voice quiet, “That it will hurt.”

His blue gaze narrowed down at her, annoyance flickered through him. Not with her, no, but for what girls were taught of intimacy. He reached up to cover her hands with his, reassuring, “Yelanna. The only way it will hurt is if the man you’re with has no idea what he’s doing. And I assure you, I know what I’m doing.” In his experience most men didn’t care to take care of their partner, they were in it for their own pleasure, but Treyjen rather thought all parties involved should come out satisfied.

She blinked up at him in surprise, and couldn’t help but laugh, feeling nigh on hysterical as she buried her face in his chest and tried to get herself under control. It seemed like such a ridiculous conversation. But before she’d been sent off to be married her mother had warned her that her first time with her new husband especially could, probably would, be painful to some extent. Which just made this strange… desire she had to be with Treyjen, in that way, all the more confusing. Why would she want something like that if it would hurt her? And the fact that she was a grown woman, afraid of this, being comforted about it by an arrogant, womanizing pirate, was just too much. After quite some time, she finally managed to stop laughing, wiped at her eyes and shook her head, “I’m sure you’re just saying that…. My mother… warned me herself… how it would be.”

“Well your father clearly didn’t know what he was doing,” Treyjen’s response only had her laughing again, though she did not completely lose herself to it this time. His hands slid up her arms to grasp her shoulders firmly and she looked up at him, “You may think it’s my ego talking, but I’m dead serious. Of course men who see women as something they own wouldn’t give a shit. To men like that, you’re just a tool, a means to an end.”

“And you don’t see women that way?” she raised a brow up at him, doubtful.

“Not you,” he replied, and she felt her face heating again because there was nothing in his tone, on his face, that made her think he was anything but serious, “You’re part of my crew, Yelanna. That means you’re part of my family. And beyond that, I’ve become rather fond of your company. However….” He drew in a breath, released her, to her surprise, “While I do care about you, and while I am also attracted to you, you should know right now that if you do choose to share my bed with me, you won’t be the only one, nor should you feel so limited. If that isn’t something you’re comfortable with, then we can stop this here, and simply continue to enjoy each other’s company in our… usual ways.” He gestured vaguely to the table behind him, indicating that he would certainly still be willing to teach her how to navigate, regardless of what she decided.

The fact that he was so forthcoming about it all was just so very odd. Yelanna had no idea how to react to such stark honesty, nor the suggestion that he shouldn’t be the only one to share her bed either. The idea of being intimate with more than one man was quite a foreign concept. Currently there was certainly no other man she would consider for such a thing… but did that mean it would stay that way? It wasn’t like there weren’t other attractive men on the ship, but just because she found a man attractive didn’t mean she had to sleep with him. Which brought her back around to Treyjen. They hadn’t known each other very long, and yet she truly trusted him, felt safe with him, and enjoyed his company… most of the time. He could certainly be infuriating and frustrating when he wanted to be. But he was also the first man that really treated her like her own person, like her thoughts and opinions mattered, had value. He was such a strange contradiction. A womanizer who treated women as equals. A ruthless pirate who was afraid of making her fear him. He seemed on the surface so entirely carefree and yet she had come to learn that he cared so very much about so many things. Getting to know him was a labyrinth of surprising twists and turns but somehow so enticing and rewarding. He was so much more than what he appeared to be.

Could she share his bed, and then share him? It wasn’t as though she was particularly looking to marry him, but she would be a liar if she tried to claim that she hadn’t perhaps hoped for some sort of meaningful relationship with him, if they were going to be… intimate. “Could I… never really mean something to you?” she looked up at him hopefully.

His blue gaze narrowed slightly, “You already mean something to me. Whether we share a bed or not has no bearing on that.” But he knew what she was really asking, and it always confused him. It was one thing he just could not wrap his head around. He was very good at understanding people, motives, emotions, reading them, predicting them, knowing the hows and whys behind such things. But the possessiveness people felt over their bedpartners was something he had never, ever been able to comprehend. From a lineage standpoint, knowing who fathered what children might factor in, but besides that he could see no reason for it. “Yelanna. My choosing to enjoy myself with anyone besides you does not diminish our relationship, whatever we choose to make of it. You will not mean less to me because I sleep with someone else.” He leaned back against the table, creating a bit more space between them as he tried to explain to her his point of view on the matter, “Sex is just an activity. To me, it is no different than sharing a meal with someone, or a conversation. It is simply a way to enjoy spending time with another person. Do our conversations mean less because I do not speak solely to you?”

“N-no, of course not! But…,” she didn’t really know what to say. It was such a strange way of looking at intimacy. In fact it was a distinctly non-intimate way of looking at it. And perhaps that was the difference. For her, sex had always been something private and special between a married couple. For Treyjen, apparently, it was no more special than having a nice chat with a friend. Which was just… so strange, so difficult to wrap her mind around. If that’s how he thought about it, she could see why her concern seemed unnecessary to him, but just how was she supposed to reconcile her own views with his and make this okay?

“You don’t need to rush into it, love,” he spoke after a drawn out silence, his tone soft, reassuring, “If you need me to back off, I will, while you figure out just what it is you want.”

She looked up at him, conflicted. She knew what she wanted. She wanted him. If nothing else… she trusted him to be her first. But if she decided once was enough, wouldn’t it be strange after? Awkward? No, probably not for him, but maybe for her. And she valued his friendship. She didn’t want to make things strange between them, even if she was certain it would be completely one sided and the problem would lie with her alone. “I… I’m just worried… it will be strange, after… for me. I know it wouldn’t bother you at all but I… I like spending time with you… I don’t want to feel uncomfortable around you because of… well….”

“Well, I’m afraid I can’t much help you with that, love. You just tell me when you’ve made a decision,” he replied before turning back to his work, giving her a very obvious out of this conversation, an escape to figure out if she wanted to take this risk or not. It was as simple as that for him. How she wished it could be that simple for her. She wondered if it was already too late to turn back. She still had this… desire for him, even if she never acted on it. Wouldn’t that alone be enough to cause a rift? And if it was going to happen anyway, shouldn’t she just take the risk and see? Maybe… maybe it would work out just fine in the end? She turned and left him to his work.

[Zen]

Sexual Themes Warning!

When Treyjen retired to his quarters in the early hours before Rukbat rose, tossing his coat over the back of a chair and pulling his loose tunic over his head to drop haphazardly on the floor, he stopped as he turned to his bed to find it occupied. Yelanna was asleep there and, from what he could see in the dim glow light, she looked to have left her clothing on the floor beside the bed. She was covered by his furs, her breathing soft and even as she slept on. He shook his head with a soft laugh. He certainly hadn’t expected her to make her decision quite so soon. He deliberated on just how to proceed. She was already asleep. It was possible she had expected him to return to his quarters a bit earlier than he had, but he’d kept her waiting too long. Now he wasn’t sure whether he should wake her and test her resolve or just let her sleep and take the conversation up in the morning.

What a dilemma.

He sat at the end of his bed, pulling his boots off as he thought it over. One of her feet was just poking out from under the furs and with a grin he reached over to slide one finger along the length of it, which had her kicking and waking with a start, bolting upright and looking around blearily. He couldn’t help but laugh, his gaze wandering down from her face as the furs had fallen away from her bare chest when she sat up so suddenly, “Sorry to keep you waiting.” Yelanna blinked over at him, still waking up, trying to figure out just where she was and what was happening. He raised a brow at her, his gaze flicking down again, “This has turned into quite the pleasant surprise.”

What was he…? She registered her lack of clothing then and grabbed the furs up to cover herself instinctively, to which he laughed again, “Wh-what…?”

“You’re the one that climbed naked into my bed, love, I’m not quite sure just what you’re questioning,” he leaned on one arm, an amused smirk settled on his lips as he waited for her to get her bearings.

“I…,” she glanced down at the bed, realized it wasn’t her own, and the decision she’d come to started to reform in her mind, “... oh.”

He laughed once more, “Oh? If you’ve changed your mind you’re free to dress and leave, but I would like my bed back, one way or another.”

She buried her face in the furs for a long moment, but finally peeked up at him, “I… don’t want to leave.”

He studied her for a moment with an appraising look she had seen him use on goods they’d commandeered, “And you’re sure about that?”

She drew in a deep breath and nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She didn’t really know what else to say, or do. She was too embarrassed to think clearly.

“Well,” he reached beneath the bed, fumbling for a moment in the dark, “Ah, here we are.” He tugged out a crate of some sort that he’d stashed beneath the bed, lifted the lid and pulled out a bottle, “I know you’ve no fondness for my ale. Perhaps a bit of wine would be more to your liking?”

Now she was just confused, “Wine…?”

“Aye, love. It’ll help you loosen up and relax, which will make everything that much easier for you,” he explained as he pulled out two carefully wrapped wine glasses.

She watched him unwrap them, still at a bit of a loss, “You know… I shouldn’t be surprised that you have a secret wine stash under your bed, but here I am.”

He laughed, “Only for special occasions.”

She felt hot at that, and half buried her face in the furs again as he opened the wine and poured into one of the glasses, holding it out for her. After a moment and a little maneuvering of the furs to keep herself covered, she reached out with one hand to take it and brought it to her lips. She hadn’t had a drop of wine since she’d begun her life on the Storm’s Eye. She was under the impression that any wine on the ship was for their trading ventures and the crew was relegated to drinking that disgusting ale Treyjen carried around with him. She sighed softly, “So much better than ale.”

Treyjen laughed again as he poured his own glass, “I thought you might prefer it, my lady.”

She narrowed her eyes at him at the tease, “Anyone would prefer a good wine to that… swill you drink.”

“No need for name calling, love,” he scolded, taking his own drink.

“Mm. What… what did you mean, it will… make things easier for me?” her gaze fell to the wine in the glass, considering his words.

“You’re tense,” he stated, “You’re anxious, nervous, and as you admitted earlier, very possibly also a bit afraid, so you’re tense. And to be blunt… it’ll be more difficult to fit if you’re tense, and therefore more likely to cause you discomfort or pain. So before we can proceed, we need to set you more at ease. The wine will help.”

The heat rose in her face again and she took another drink. She supposed that made sense. “Just… how much wine do you have hidden in there?”

He laughed, “I don’t anticipate the need for more than a bottle between us. You need to loosen up, not pass out. I do draw a line somewhere.”

She couldn’t help but chuckle at that, “Do you?”

“I know, I am full of surprises,” he considered her quietly for a moment, “I believe I’ll start with your feet.”

Yelanna simply stared at him in the dim light, “What…?”

He laughed again, “Well I have to start somewhere, don’t I? You need to get used to the feeling of being touched, and starting at a less… private area would be preferable, aye?”

She narrowed her eyes at him, trying to decide if he was messing with her or not, “So… you want to… touch my feet?”

He gave a soft snort of amusement at that, “Well when you word it that way it sounds very odd indeed.” He swallowed the rest of the wine in his glass and set it carefully back into the crate, along with the bottle, “Just trust me, love. I told you, I know what I’m doing.”

When he reached for one of her feet, poking out from beneath the furs, she took another drink of wine, curious and nervous all at once about just what he intended to do. But he only began to gently massage it with both hands, and having never had anyone massage her feet before, Yelanna leaned back and found herself very thoroughly enjoying it. She couldn’t help but wriggle her other foot at him after a while and he chuckled, but switched feet. “Mm… that feels… really nice.”

“Indeed. Perhaps you can repay the favor for me later,” he grinned as his hands shifted slightly upward, underneath the furs still covering her, massaging her lower leg now.

She laughed lightly, “I suppose it would be only fair….”

He shifted to her other leg, careful to keep the furs in place for her. Tonight would be slow going to ensure her first experience with intimacy went as painlessly as possible, “Let me know if you’d like more wine.” It was a good pacing tool. Of course she would enjoy a massage easily enough as long as he stuck to certain areas, but if his hands went somewhere she wasn’t quite ready for, asking for more wine would seem to indicate that she needed to relax a bit more and get more comfortable with the idea first, and of course he would have to remove his hands from her to pour more wine, and his plan then would be to start back at her feet and work back up again. As many times as it took. It would be infinitely easier if girls were simply taught to express their desires better instead of withhold them, but he had found that the wine out worked quite well. So many young women seemed afraid to say ‘no’ once things had begun, as if they didn’t realize they had the right, as if agreeing once meant agreeing to everything that happened after. “And Yelanna,” he added, still massaging, “I hope you know you can still say no at any time. It’s alright to change your mind. I don’t want you to feel pressured to continue if you’re uncomfortable. I want you to enjoy this, and you won’t if you’re not ready.”

Truth be told, she hadn’t really thought about it. She’d thought, now that she’d committed to her decision, there wasn’t any going back on it. But really, they hadn’t done much so far, surprising as that was. She could still change her mind? Not that she was having any doubts or regrets thus far, but it was comforting to hear him say it. She drew in a long breath, “Thank you, captain. I… I think I am ready… I’m enjoying this, anyway.” She laughed softly, a bit nervously, “I don’t really know what I expected but… taking it slow like this… it’s rather nice.”

“Mm, it is nice to slow down every now and then,” he agreed, shifting just a bit higher up on her leg. He felt her tense under his touch, however, and slid his hands back down, pulling them from under the furs, “More wine?”

“Ah… yes, please,” she held out her glass to him, and he refilled it for her, began massaging her feet again as she took another drink. She laughed again, “I think I might be content if you just massaged my feet the rest of the night.”

He smirked, “I’m sure you would.” Instead of heading for the higher parts of her leg this time, however, he pulled his hands away to hold one out to her, “Your hand, if you would.” She blinked at him curiously, giving him her free hand while the other yet held her wine. He shifted closer, brought her hand to his lips, kissing her fingers gently. He turned her hand up and kissed her palm, his mouth moving slowly to her wrist, the fingers of one hand playing over her arm while the other held it in place. She watched him as he slowly worked his way up her arm, to her shoulder, his lips brushing over her neck, along her jaw, until his mouth was on hers as he gently took the wine glass from her hand.

“Are you ready to stop hiding from me yet?” he murmured as he broke the kiss, and when she managed to nod, “Lay back then.” He shifted away from her so she could move into a more comfortable position and tossed back the remainder of the wine in her glass before setting it back into the crate he had retrieved it from. And then he started at her feet again, slowly shifting the furs away from her as he went, and when he moved higher this time there was no silent, tense resistance to it.

Yelanna had always been a curious girl and Treyjen seemed to have a wealth of experience and knowledge. Though he seemed to enjoy boasting of his own prowess on a regular basis, she hadn’t expected half of what he did to her in those early hours, and it seemed that experience and knowledge she’d come to associate with him extended to the bedroom. Lying curled against him, catching her breath in a haze of pleasure, she found she still had no words, “That was….” He laughed softly, one arm wrapped loosely around her, and she wondered what she’d ever been afraid of. Was it really supposed to be painful as her mother had said? There had been some mild discomfort, briefly, but pain? Was it as Treyjen had said? That men just didn’t know what they were doing? Or was the tale of pain just something mothers told their daughters to keep them from opening their legs for just anyone? More importantly, right now, who cared? She nuzzled into his chest and sighed happily, quite content with the results of her decision.

“Are you alright?”

His softly spoken question had her tilting her face up toward his, “Mm…. As far as I can tell.” She laughed softly. Although there did seem to be a vague sort of soreness, overall she felt far better than she’d thought she would. A small smirk quirked her lips, “So… does this mean I get to sleep in with you, then?”

He chuckled, “Aye. Suppose it does. One of the many perks of sharing my bed.”

“Many? What are the others?” she raised an eyebrow at him, mildly surprised at how not awkward it was, laying there, talking to him afterward, still very much bare. She never imagined she’d feel this at ease being naked around a man. It was all rather freeing, all the concerns and worries she’d had from a lifetime of being denied her sexuality were all but gone, suddenly. It didn’t have to be anything like how she’d been led to believe intimacy would be. He had been surprisingly patient with her. Well, thinking about it now was it really that surprising? He had been nothing but a patient teacher thus far, after all.

“I’m a pretty big perk,” he grinned down at her and she rolled her eyes.

“You would say that.”

“I’d like to hear you try to deny it,” he replied, all arrogance, and shifted slightly to capture her mouth with his own before she could respond. By the time he released her, she could no longer recall just what she had been about to say.

“That… that’s cheating,” she murmured, resting her head on his chest and reaching up to push his face away so she wouldn’t have to see his obnoxious, cocky smirk.

“Did you really expect a pirate to play fair?” he shot back, grinning.

“Good point, though it’s hard to say whether I should have expected it because you’re a pirate or simply because you’re you,” she laughed softly.

“Are you calling my character into question?” he asked, feigning offense.

“Never, captain,” she laughed and leaned up to kiss him again, somewhat surprised at herself for being the one to initiate it this time. It seemed it surprised him too, from the soft sound he made.

“Well…,” he murmured as she pulled away just slightly, reaching up to tuck a few locks of hair behind her ear in a surprisingly affectionate gesture, teasing, “Aren’t you getting bold.”

Her lips brushed his when she spoke, “I have a good teacher.”

[Zen]

Yelanna wasn’t entirely sure what time it was when she woke. The day was bright outside the small windows that Treyjen’s quarters sported. She couldn’t remember a time she’d ever slept in late and not been ill. But she felt… good. Especially as a light, rhythmic caress was flowing up and down her arm, where it rested over Treyjen’s chest. With a soft sound that was somehow both contentment and protest, she looked up at the man, but his eyes were closed. He looked quite relaxed. Probably about as relaxed as she felt herself. She yawned and snuggled herself a bit closer, speaking softly, “Good morning.”

He laughed softly, “I believe it is still morning… though not for much longer.”

She pushed herself up a bit and he looked at her then, “Well, it’s hardly our fault my lessons ran late.”

He laughed again and reached up to tuck some of her sleep wild hair behind her ear, “It is important to be thorough.”

She grinned, “I think I may need another lesson. The sooner the better.”

His hand came to rest on the back of her neck, “Aye. I agree. I’ve still got so much to teach you.” He pulled her gently down to kiss her and she met his lips most willingly.

When he released her she rested back on his chest, her chin on her hand as she looked up at him, a soft smile on her lips, “I can only imagine.”

He smirked, “I’m not sure you can.”

She laughed and rolled her eyes, and in the process noticed some sort of carvings in the wall above his bed. She lifted her head off his chest to look at them a bit better. Names? “What are those?” Her brow furrowed curiously as she looked them over.

Treyjen followed her gaze briefly before closing his eyes. He was quiet a moment and Yelanna looked back down at him, wondering if she had asked something she shouldn’t have. At length, he spoke, his voice quiet and serious, “The names of every man I’ve lost.”

“Lost…? Oh,” she murmured. They were dead. And Treyjen kept a record of them carved above his bed? “There are… quite a few.”

He sighed, “Aye.” He reached up to run his fingers through her hair and she looked back down at him again, biting her lip lightly. He let out a soft laugh, “Go on then.”

“H-huh? What do you mean?”

He raised a brow up at her, “There’s never just one question with you. So go on then. Ask what you will.”

She flushed a bit, because he was right. She had several questions she wanted to ask, but she wasn’t sure if she should. “Are you… sure…?”

“I keep them here so I don’t forget them, love. Ask your questions. They deserve to be remembered,” he assured her softly.

“Do you really… remember them? All of them?”

“Of course,” he replied, his eyes narrowing slightly, “Why wouldn’t I? Each of them taught me a valuable lesson, made me a better captain.”

She looked over the names quietly for a time, “Which one was first?”

He sighed, “Three.” She looked back down at him and he closed his eyes, “There were three. Ferrick, Hassen, and… and Virian.”

His hesitation on stating the third name meant something. She doubted he had simply had a lapse of memory. She found the three names at the bottom of the list, so then the higher ones were more recent. “What happened?”

“We were fools… and I most of all,” he replied, the memory of that failure leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. She met his eyes, concern and curiosity both in her gaze. “It was our first time ever boarding a ship. We thought we could be… I don’t know… kind? Merciful? That the threat alone would have them handing over everything to us and we could be on our way with little enough bloodshed.”

Yelanna frowned, “That seems… terribly idealistic.”

“Naive is what it was. But my men are good men. Not a one of them had ever killed before. Not a one of them wanted to. And it cost us. Three good men died that day… and the rest of us realized… we could no longer be good men,” his voice had turned a bit rougher and she reached up to run her fingers through his hair in a comforting gesture.

“So… that was their lesson? To be… harder?”

“The lesson was that there is no easy way to be a pirate. The lesson was kill or be killed,” he shifted slightly, turned his gaze back up to the list, “Some of them… weren’t cut out for it. Good men cannot survive this life. Hesitation is a death sentence. You can’t doubt yourself in the midst of a fight. You can’t entertain mercy… not until the fight is won. Many of them taught me the same lesson many times, until I learned to recognize who to take into a fight and who to leave to guard the ship against retaliation. There is a difference in taking what belongs to someone else and defending what is already yours… even good men are more willing to be ruthless in defense of what is theirs.”

That made sense, she supposed. No one on Pern would blame a man for killing in self defense. It was quite another thing to be the attacker. She glanced back to the names, “What happened… to Virian? You hesitated before….”

A sharp, cold laugh escaped him, “Perceptive of you.”

“You don’t have to answer,” she assured him, unsure again if she was pushing too far.

“I told you to ask what you will, love…,” he let out a long, slow breath, “He didn’t die in that first fight… we managed to get him back to the ship, but…. His wounds were extensive. He was beyond saving.” He rubbed a hand over his face, “So I did the only thing I could do for him… and ended his pain.” Shifting his hand back to his side, he gazed up at the ceiling for a moment, listing off names slowly, “Virian… Danex… Thallum… Karsin…. Mercy was all I could give them.”

Yelanna was quiet for a long while as she contemplated that. He’d killed them himself to end their suffering. She understood that Treyjen could be ruthless when it was needed, but killing a member of his own crew, even if it was a kindness, took a different sort of strength. She also understood that he cared for the lot of them as family. She continued to stroke her hand softly through his hair, “That must have been very difficult.”

His gaze shifted to her and he gave her a small, sad smile, “Hardly matters. I’m their captain… I owe it to them, to do what’s necessary.”

She couldn’t help but think back to how he’d said he’d taken punishments from his father to keep his attention off Nalyra, and it seemed he was still choosing to suffer in the place of those he cared about. She sighed and leaned down to kiss him gently, which seemed to catch him by surprise. Her hand slid down from his hair to cup his cheek, her voice soft, “You are a good man, Treyjen. I see it, even if you don’t. And I’d say the rest of the crew sees it too, or why would they have followed you to begin with?”

A wry smile pulled at his lips and he shook his head slightly, and she could tell he was going to deny the statement, “Maybe once, but no longer. I believe it’s only because you’re so determined to see me that way. It’s far easier than admitting you’re attracted to a murderous pirate, isn’t it?”

Her brows drew together and her tone turned defensive, “That has nothing to do with it.” If he was really as hard a man as he liked to pretend he was, would he keep a list of the dead above his bed, carved into the wood of his ship? She understood that he did bad things, murder and theft were second nature, but she was starting to understand that the world was hardly so black and white, and neither was Treyjen. No, she rather thought he was very firmly gray. There was plenty of both inside him.

He laughed, “Aye. Sure it doesn’t.” He wasn’t about to argue with her over it. She had it set in her mind that he was this ‘good man’, but he lived in reality and had no such delusions about himself. If he was a good man he would have made so many different choices in life, choices that led down a very different path from the one he had taken. He couldn’t even particularly say he regretted the way his life had turned out. He had very few regrets, and those he was very good at keeping at bay with a healthy - or rather unhealthy - amount of alcohol. Before she could dig her heels in further on the subject, he shifted her slightly and pushed himself up to sit, running his hand through his hair as he looked down at her, “I imagine it’s about time we joined the rest of the crew.”

He was avoiding the discussion now, but she just sighed and let it go. It didn’t do to push him into talking about anything he didn’t want to talk about. He’d just close up and get belligerent, in her experience thus far. Instead she tried for a suggestive smile as she looked up at him, reaching over to run her fingers over his back, “Orrrr we could stay here and you could give me another lesson?”

He laughed again and leaned down to kiss her, but it was brief, much to her disappointment, “Tonight perhaps. As tempting as that is.” He grinned back at her as he stood from the bed, “I can’t wait to hear what Nalyra will say.”

She groaned and grabbed for one of his pillows and tossed it at him, hitting him squarely in the back, “Why did you have to remind me?”

With a chuckle, he pulled on clothes and picked the pillow up off the floor to toss back onto the bed, “I thought it a kindness. Best you be prepared.”

She pulled the pillow over her face and groaned into it. Nalyra was going to lay into her all day the moment she realized she’d spent the night in Treyjen’s bed. Which, honestly, she had probably already figured out. Why else wouldn’t she have seen her yet today? Shards and shells, just shove her between now.

“Don’t take too long, love,” Treyjen cautioned her, and she peered out from beneath the pillow, “Or she might just come find you.” Shells but he was right. Fully clothed, Treyjen left her there to dress herself and otherwise get ready for the day, and Yelanna wasted no time. She didn’t want Nalyra to corner her before she’d even had a chance to get dressed.

It was going to be a long sharding day.

[Zen]

Umbregel was playing his pipes while his little blue flit flew about quite happily at the music, as if he was dancing. The man tended to play around meal times and was one of few sources of entertainment while they were out at sea. Yelanna hummed softly along as he played a familiar tune, sitting on the steps leading up to the quarter deck and taking a rest from her work. Many of the others had already gone below to fetch their midday meals, which she had helped to prepare, but she had nibbled as she’d worked and didn’t find herself terribly hungry. If there was anything left she might poke at it once everyone else had had their fill.

“Who taught you to play, Umbregel? You’re quite talented,” she spoke as the song came to an end.

Umbregel grinned at her, clearly pleased with the praise, “My father. Always said a sailor that could entertain his crew on long trips could get special perks, so it was a skill worth knowin’. He was right, too.”

Yelanna chuckled, “Well I certainly appreciate it.” She stood and descended the few steps to the main deck, “Can you play something I can dance to?”

“Aye, sure can,” the man began to play another familiar song, upbeat, common for quicksteps.

Yelanna happily danced on her own, twirling about the deck and laughing as Umbregel’s blue followed her like he was trying to be her dance partner, weaving around her and trilling. When she spotted Treyjen stepping up from below deck and watching her with a raised brow, she danced her way over and grabbed at his hands, pulling him toward her, “Dance with me!”

“Ah…,” Treyjen glanced at Umbregel, “I don’t dance, love.” The first and last time he’d danced had been at Jeylokar’s wedding, and that had only been at Yvinnia’s insistence that it would be her wedding gift from him. Thinking about it now, he knew she’d only used it as a cover to get him to the wine table, because she’d noticed him looking at it. The woman had deserved so much better than his brother.

She laughed, challenging, “Don’t, or can’t?”

He stiffened a bit, “Don’t.”

She laughed again, still tugging at him, and gave a mock gasp of shock, “Don’t tell me there’s something the flawless Captain Treyjen can’t do?”

He sighed, shrugged, but didn’t much budge at her tugging, “I’ve never seen much point in it.”

She stopped tugging to squint up at him briefly, “I think that’s a lie. The way you flirt?” She sidled up close to him, much to his surprise, as she always seemed to get embarrassed by public displays of affection. She placed one of his hands on her waist and took the other in hers, placing her free hand up on his shoulder, her voice lowering with a suggestive hint, “The way you can get close to a woman, hold her close to you, and yet maintain your innocence?”

He laughed, “I’ve no need to put on a pretense of innocence, love. And any woman that does isn’t a woman that wants anything to do with me.”

She pouted up at him, “You just have an answer for everything, don’t you?”

“Aye, all part of being flawless,” he tossed back, “If you’ve want for a dance partner, there are plenty of other men who would be glad for it.”

“But I want to dance with you,” she replied, and her earnest admission had him pausing before he could withdraw his hands from her, “Please? Just one dance?”

He wasn’t sure if this was some ploy to try to embarrass him, as he recalled not being terribly good at it when he danced with Yvinnia, but embarrassment wasn’t really a feeling he entertained. If it would make her happy, what harm was there in one dance, he supposed. He rolled his eyes and relented, “One dance then, my lady.” He looked down at her to see a childish sort of glee on her face at his agreement, “On one condition.” Her smile faltered as her eyes narrowed in suspicion of what he would ask in return. He laughed, “You lead. I… don’t know any steps.”

Her brows went up in surprise at the admission. She had thought perhaps he simply wasn’t very good at dancing, but that he quite literally didn’t know how was not what she expected. “You don’t know how to dance?” He shrugged. “Haven’t you ever been to a gather?”

Once again he recalled Yvinnia and her incredulity over the fact that he’d never danced before. Of course he’d only been… 13? 14? It had been more understandable than being a grown man and never having learned. “I’ve been to few enough, and the ones I went to I worked,” he told her with some annoyance edging into his tone. He had gone to a few as a child that he hadn’t had to work, back in Tillek, when Nalyra was too small to sail and his father was out to sea. He did remember dancing with his mother a few times, in the way mothers danced with young children, without any real steps involved, just moving as they pleased. He had enjoyed it then.

Yelanna frowned briefly and glanced back at Umbregel, who seemed to be waiting for her cue to start playing again. “Something light, and a bit slower maybe?” she asked him, and he nodded. She looked back up at Treyjen and smiled softly, “Just follow me then, captain.” He did his best trying not to step on her as she led, his gaze often trailing down to their feet, and she chuckled, “Don’t watch your feet. Watch me.”

“Do you want to get stepped on?” he replied with mild frustration.

“You’re thinking too much, captain,” she told him, “Dancing should be… relaxing and freeing.”

“If it were that, then there shouldn’t be so many complicated steps to follow,” he muttered.

She laughed, “This isn’t a complicated dance. Just step with me. You told me to lead, but you’re not following. Which isn’t a surprise, as I don’t imagine you’re used to following, hm?”

She was right about that. He realized he was still trying to stay ahead of her, to anticipate her next move and make it before she did, which… wasn’t how following worked. He blew out a breath and tried to let go of the need to control, to anticipate, plan, stay ahead of his opponent. Ah, there it was. He sighed as he realized it. He was treating this more like a fight than a dance, but Yelanna wasn’t his opponent, she was his partner. “Wait a moment, love,” he pulled them to a stop and Umbregel cut his playing short. She tilted her head as she looked up at him and he took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. This wasn’t a fight. And thinking about how his father would be grumbling about it being a frivolous waste of time only made it easier to try to enjoy it. He gave her a short nod, “Alright. Lead away.”

She wasn’t sure why he had wanted to stop for a moment, but she nodded to Umbregel to start again, and this time when she led, he followed properly, much to her surprise. He was still a bit stiff, but he was no longer trying to take control of the dance, and he seemed more at ease, with less glancing down at their feet. She beamed up at him as Umbregel brought the song to a close and couldn’t help the girlish giggle that escaped her, “You did quite well, captain! It seems you can dance after all.”

“Mm, well… it was just the once,” he released her then and took a step back, turning to head up to the quarterdeck.

She followed him with a smile and wave back at Umbregel for being so accommodating. The man chuckled and continued playing. “Didn’t you enjoy it?” she asked with some confusion. He hadn’t seemed to dislike it.

“It was fine,” he replied with a wave of his hand, dismissive.

“Then would you dance with me again, if I asked?” he turned back to see her tilting her head slightly again, a small smile flitting over her lips, “I think you could shape up to be quite a good dancer, captain.”

“To what end?” he replied with a raised brow, taking over at the helm, feeling better back in his element.

She laughed, “What do you mean, to what end? To have fun. With me. Isn’t that enough?”

He eyed her, “You truly enjoy it?”

She sighed and moved closer, “I’d forgotten how much. I haven’t exactly had much chance to dance since I joined you. I just… the day is so nice and Umbregel’s playing got to me. But it’s more fun to dance with a partner.” She came to stand in front of the wheel and slid her hands over his, “I’d think you’d agree with that, aye?” She gave him a suggestive look and he laughed.

“Mm… dancing alone is hardly as satisfying, is it?” he agreed, though he was hardly talking about dancing.

She laughed and shook her head, removing her hands from his, “Also… well, you’ve been teaching me so many things… I suppose I’d like to be able to teach you something for once.”

“I prefer to learn skills that have some use,” he replied dryly.

“You don’t think dancing is a useful skill?” she quirked a brow at him.

“Not particularly,” he studied her a moment, “Though I’m sure you’ll be happy to inform me how I’m wrong.”

She laughed, “Dancing gives you the perfect opportunity to get someone alone even in a crowded room. It can be quite useful, I assure you. Though I suppose it can really only be used on someone of the opposite sex unless you don’t mind drawing attention to yourself.” Though honestly even two women dancing together wouldn’t garner too much attention. Two men, however… that would draw a few eyes.

“Hm,” Treyjen offered a thoughtful sound at that. He’d never really considered that before. Perhaps his father’s thoughts on the activity had managed to poison him against it, in which case he was overdue to rectify it. He was determined not to agree with his father in any capacity.

“With everyone listening to the music, it can even give you some privacy if you’ve something to discuss,” Yelanna continued, “And with how complete strangers often ask each other to dance, it can give some anonymity to anyone watching, appearing as nothing more than an innocent dance, and can’t be proven otherwise unless the two dancers admit to it.”

“You’re going to keep on about it, aren’t you?” he eyed her, though she made some decent points. Sometimes he forgot she was highborn and had some inclination toward politics.

She grinned, “Yes. Please let me teach you. It will be fun.”

“Fun for you perhaps,” Treyjen muttered, turning his sights upward toward the sails for a moment, gauging the wind.

“And for you as well,” she insisted, and he looked back at her doubtfully, “At least give me a chance. Two more lessons and if you really hate it we can stop. It didn’t seem like you hated it today? I think you might have even been starting to like it toward the end.”

He snorted, “I wouldn’t go that far.”

She narrowed her eyes at him because she was pretty sure he was putting on a front, though she didn’t know why, “Please, Treyjen. Just two more lessons.”

He blinked at her in surprise. She rarely called him by his name. Even when they were in bed together, she still called him captain. He wasn’t sure just what that meant, but there was certainly some significance to it. “Shells, if it means that much to you,” he finally relented, and she beamed at him, clearly pleased. Well if nothing else he could comfort himself with the knowledge that his father would be grumbling about it all being a frivolous waste of time. It was always quite motivating when he knew his father would be staunchly against something. He couldn’t help but remember Jeylokar’s wedding, the dancing after, watching his mother dance with various men from the crew… but not his father. He had even been bold enough to ask his father why he wasn’t dancing with her. Treylok had growled that dancing was for women and gather fools and that he was neither, and Treyjen had not particularly wanted to risk the man’s displeasure further and had made himself scarce. Of course he’d also managed to pilfer a bit of wine for himself at that point and didn’t really want to get caught at it either. He definitely would have been dragged off for a beating. He supposed his father would have little use for dancing as a political tool, as he would only be dancing with women and women had no place in politics in Treylok’s mind. Hidebound old wher.

Yelanna laughed her delight, “Wonderful. I look forward to it! Suppose I’ll leave you alone about it now before I nag you into changing your mind.” She grinned and he rolled his eyes, “Best get to the galley to help clean up.” She turned, humming to herself as she almost seemed to float away. Treyjen didn’t know why the prospect of teaching him to dance seemed to make her so happy, but it wasn’t like it was much hardship for him to go along with it. He sighed and shook his head. She was such an odd woman.